i am a bridesmaid for a friend who is having a small wedding at her beautiful connecticut home and i am so excited, but so anxious because it almost seems we'll (the 1 other bridesmaid and i) be paying at Least (at least) 25% of what she is spending for the wedding. mind you.. we don't even get to plan the bachelorette party or the bridal shower because she and he mother seem to have their own ideas... so, this got me thinking.... how much do you usually spend as a bridesmaid?
JessNicole7EM
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Re: Being a Bridesmaid
How do you feel like you're going to be paying 1/4?
I've been a bridesmaid a few times and never paid for anything involved in the wedding....?
I mean, I've helped pay for the bachelorette party and shower before and a gift of course. - but never the wedding.
SoInLove916
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I have been a bridesmaid a 3 times and recently.
for my best friends CT wedding the bridesmaids paid for her shower, the accomodations at the hotel for the few nights we were there, the bachelorette party as well as gifts and hair m/u and dresses.
for my sil's wedding we paid for her shower, bachelorette weekend, hotel, gifts & hair, make up and dresses.
and for my fsil's wedding we paid for bachelorette party, hotel, gifts and hair make up and dresses.
What does your friend expect you to pay?
MrsJPH2012
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As a bridesmaid I've split the cost of the shower but not the bachlorette party because i never get to go (I typically haven't gotten to the shower either but I still help pay for it).
Accomodations and travel expenses, hair and makeup if the bride wants. The dress (never over $200) and shoes.
One wedding all the BM's split a gift, but for the one I'm in this spring the MOH didn't think it was neccesssary for us to get the bride another gift, so I think I'm going to get her at least a Channa plaque with a check.
dianeb888
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I have been a bridesmaid a few time and the most I ever paid for was the dress, b-party and gift for the shower and wedding.
FutureWifey
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lol sorry! We aren't paying for the wedding, but that's how expensive it looks like it's going to be! Sorry about that. I'm just thinking about the costs and what they'll add up to be for budgeting reasons. It's difficult because her mother wants to have the bridal shower in a specific place and she wants to have her bachelorette a certain way. I guess that just means I get to pull the reins on my wedding too!
fdnybride163
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the three weddings I have been in from soup to nuts I have never paid more than $1500.. and thats including gifts for engagement party, shower, bach party, wedding present, dress shoes, hair and makeup, and hotel room.
I have to say my friendsa are pretty good about not wanting to spend obnoxious amounts of money on things.
to me its more important to have my friends with me, than have someone in my bp who can afford to buy me pretty things
justnicethings
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I've been a bridesmaid quite a few times, and this is what I've always paid for:
bridesmaid dress shower gift wedding gift my portion of the bachelorette party cost
FutureWifey
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So technically, we don't have to pay for the shower?
CaseyCase
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Its nice to split the cost of the shower but if the mother is doing the planning I would just contribute what you can afford. Figure out what you would be paying per person if you picked the place and put in a percentage of that. On the 2 weddings I've been in I probably spent $800 on each that including shower, gift,bparty, dress shoes hair make up and gift etc
AdriandSteve
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Re: Being a Bridesmaid
Posted by FutureWifey
So technically, we don't have to pay for the shower?
If her mother is picking out the place for the shower w/o your or the other BM's input then imo that's a sign that you won't be paying for the specific place. But that doesn't include games, favors, decor, invites. That might be something you and the other BM chip in for. Question, who is the MOH b/c she should be in contact with your friends mom about all of this stuff.
justnicethings
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Posted by FutureWifey
So technically, we don't have to pay for the shower?
I guess it depends on the bride, but every wedding I've been to, the mother took care of the shower completely. We only set up the games, if anything. Maybe this is just a European thing, though.
dfed1022
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I was a BM and we had to pay my friends bridal shower but that was the first time I ever heard of doing that. My mom is paying for mine in full....
CantWaitMrsH
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Ive been a bridesmaids a TON of times ... even after I am married I will be one!
Depending on the wedding I have always paid for:
dress shoes hair portion of the bridal shower portion of the bachelorette party shower gift wedding gift
midnight26
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Posted by FutureWifey
lol sorry! We aren't paying for the wedding, but that's how expensive it looks like it's going to be! Sorry about that. I'm just thinking about the costs and what they'll add up to be for budgeting reasons. It's difficult because her mother wants to have the bridal shower in a specific place and she wants to have her bachelorette a certain way. I guess that just means I get to pull the reins on my wedding too!
if they want to have an expensive, ritzy shower that's their choice. you shouldn't have to pay more than you're comfortable paying for it because they want more....
FutureWifey
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Posted by midnight26
Posted by FutureWifey
lol sorry! We aren't paying for the wedding, but that's how expensive it looks like it's going to be! Sorry about that. I'm just thinking about the costs and what they'll add up to be for budgeting reasons. It's difficult because her mother wants to have the bridal shower in a specific place and she wants to have her bachelorette a certain way. I guess that just means I get to pull the reins on my wedding too!
if they want to have an expensive, ritzy shower that's their choice. you shouldn't have to pay more than you're comfortable paying for it because they want more....
For the Bridal Shower, I'm pretty much thinking it's going to cost at least $600 + grauiity = $720. Then cake, favors, decorations, invitations...
So really.. having it at a restaurant is sounding very expensive. It's me and 1 other bridesmaid paying for everything. Granted, there's one other bridemaid, but she's 15, so she doesn't count.
I'm starting to realize why a bigger wedding party is better!
