Some friends of DH are having a GTG at their place this weekend. They originally were throwing a party for an ex friend of DH, so needless to say we were not going to be invited because it would be a conflict since DH does not get along with this guy.
Well as it turns out the ex friend will not be going to the GTG. So now they ask us if we want to come.
Dh is like fine we'll go if It is ok with me. I said maybe I am reading too much into it, but the only reason we are now invited is because Ex friend cannot make it. I equate this with being a b list invite to a wedding and knowing about it.
Am I being ridiculous or should I just shrug it off?
ChristineC68
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I would feel a bit put off and I probably wouldn't go.
When I host something like this, I usually invite everyone I want to be there and let them decide if they want to come or not based on the guest list or other reasons.
KathleenG
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I can understand where you are coming from!! I believe that the only reason you weren't invited in the first place is because dh and the friend do not get along. I really don't think it is anything more than that; it doesn't sound like a personal thing at all. They probably didn't want any unnecessary conflicts. They probably felt bad about not inviting you in the first place but they are in the middle. People react strange in awkward situations sometimes. Bottom line, don't take it to heart.
ETA: I always feel hurt in situations like this too!!!
Cindy
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I do understand how you feel. I guess the people having the gathering were understanding though to your husbands feelings towards this person and thought that now that exfriend is not going he would like to join them. If it were me, I would probably just go. At least they were nice enough to ask again after the plans have changed. They must really want you guys to join them.
Donna
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I say go, if you can put all these thoughts out of your mind and enjoy yourself.
But I agree with Christine that the best thing to do is invite everyone and let the guests decide.
nrvbrd
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Thanks for the responses.
A part of me wishes we were not told about the original plans.
eroxgirl
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I have been in this situation before and honestly I HATE the fact that others decide for you whether or not you can deal with being in the same room with someone you don't get along with. FH's ex-girlfriend is good friends with our best (wo)man and we are ALWAYS invited together even though naturally, we don't like each other. I would never not go to a party just because she's going to be there - my world does not revolve around the fact that I don't like her, I'll have fun anyway. (although she's not going to the New Year's party because we're going to be there )
My point is, they should not be deciding for you and, like you, I would be annoyed about the late invitation. But I'd go anyway.
ChristineC68
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Rebecca - that's how I feel. I am an adult if I want to be there I will if I don't I won't. But it hurts to be excluded.
nrvbrd
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Thanks again.
At least I know I am not being overly sensitive about this.
MarcellaBella
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I wouldn't go.. screw that.
nrvbrd
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Posted by MarcellaBella
I wouldn't go.. screw that.
Marcella, this response does not surprise me.
MarcellaBella
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lol.. sorry if I sound negative or bitchy.. but I don't like to be second anything.. esp. under those circumstances.. that's just wrong..
Maribelle7777
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the party was originally FOR the ex-friend? if so and he's not going anymore, I don't think I would be insulted that they asked you now.
Think of their situation. Maybe they wanted to ask you but they knew the situation and figured that it was easier not to have your DH and the ex friend in the same place together. But that doesn't mean they didn't want you themselves.
I would just pass it off - you were probably wanted there in the first place but since DH and the other guy don't get along it wasn't feasible.
Elizabeth
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My DH would feel the same as yours and I would feel the same as you. It would annoy me too much, I wouldnt go.
I understand the friends are in the middle but to have basically a 'OK he cant make it, now you can come' invite. No thanks
Sasha96
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I agree totally with Christine.
Smolokoff
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I probably would go. The only reason you weren't originally invited is because the party was supposed to be for this ex-friend. They probably wanted you there as well, but thought it would be uncomfortable for all of you. I don't see anything wrong with it, really.
