obviosuly FH can pick who ever he wants to be his best man. when i was talking to him about it last night he said he wants to pick his friend Mike because he knows him the longest. plus of all his friends he feels most comfortable talking to him. we then realized that he will be very nervous giving a toast. so FH is thinking of picking someone else. how can i go about telling him that i would prefer is he picks Mike & not someone else without sounding like i am telling him who to pick?? is that even possible???
amandah75
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Re: Best Man Dilemma
The speech is only a small portion of the best man's duties. If that was his original choice, he should go with it. I would approach it that way. His heart told him Mike, so it should be Mike. You'd be surprised how people can step up to the plate when it comes time to make that speech. It's only a brief moment in time.
stinenandy2010
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Re: Best Man Dilemma
We had a similar dilemma, actually Fh's bm is a Mike as well. Anyway, he said he would be nervous but its going to be short and sweet. That's probably the best way for someone who is fearful of public speaking.
grrulz
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Re: Best Man Dilemma
i don't think just because of a speech you should change the BM...i think that he probably will have something prepared!
ShannonSoon
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FH has two brothers both whom he is very close with. They are he best friends. He didn't even have to contemplate chosing between them for Best Man bc the younger one did not want anything to do with it bc of the speech! I thought it was a ridiclous reason to not want to be someone's Best Man. I understand the fear of public speaking and all, but that should not interfere with standing up for one of the most important people in you life at their wedding. They need to suck it up lol. If you're that nervous about it, be prepared with what your going to say and make it short and sweet. JMO
kater08
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Re: Best Man Dilemma
FH is having his 2 brothers as his 'best men'. One of them (the shy one) will stand up in front at the church and escort my MOH...the other who is much more charismatic will be giving the speech at the reception.
You can't choose based on a speech. Sometimes the short and sweet ones are the best!!
JenBill61210
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Can you choose someone else to be a 2nd BM? This way the less shy one can do most of the speaking and the other can just say 'congrats' or something like that
christine2010
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Posted by jenny8484
Can you choose someone else to be a 2nd BM? This way the less shy one can do most of the speaking and the other can just say 'congrats' or something like that
i didn't even think of that & that could totally work out. because as of right now we are uneven because i have 3 bridesmaids & he has 4 groomsmen. so maybe 2 best men could work out. will have to mention it to him
Goldie39
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Re: Best Man Dilemma
I think your FH should stick with his orginal BM. The toast doesn't have to be long and maybe reading it instead of free styling will work better to help control his nerves.
I dread to hear the things my FH's BM is going to say during their toast. I will definitely be proof reading the toast before hand and giving them some toasting ettiquette articles!
grkbarbie
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Re: Best Man Dilemma
im sure after a few COCKtails(ha i love that word), the BM would be fineeee
FallBride2010
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Re: Best Man Dilemma
The toast is such a small part of the day...he should pick who he wants to stand by his side the most. Give the Bm a shot before he stands up and he will be fine : )
Opera_Ghost
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Re: Best Man Dilemma
Posted by amandah75
The speech is only a small portion of the best man's duties. If that was his original choice, he should go with it. I would approach it that way. His heart told him Mike, so it should be Mike. You'd be surprised how people can step up to the plate when it comes time to make that speech. It's only a brief moment in time.
That's very true. I was going to say something very similar to that but she put it well
