So my fiance is having his sister as his best woman, which i love bc my sis is my MOH and we will each have our sis next to us. Problem is, she is refusing to wear black. I really just dont get this and neither do any of my bridesmaids....they want to wear black! lol
The BMs are wearing purple and the groomsmen black tuxes with purple ties or cummerbunds so I would really like her to wear a black structured dress with a purple cummerbund like this one here (its in blue but you can change the colors to black dress, eggplant sash)
should I put my foot down on this? everything i am reading suggests a best woman wear black and that if she doesnt it just looks like she is standing in the wrong place - which is my main concern. Phtogs say it draws your eye towards her if she is not wearing black in pics...not sure what to do. We get along really well so is this worth talking to her about?
Espo22
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Re: best woman doesnt want to wear black...
is she superstitious or traditional and believes the whole not wearing black thing bc of the bad luck or more like its in mourning type thing. ALot of mothers who are old school dont wear black for that reason.
Well i never heard of that rule that a best woman has to wear black, i dont think there should be a rule that tells someone else what color they HAVE to wear. I say just go with whatever you all like best. If she is that against it then i would just sit and talk to her and see what she likes best. I personally wanted all my girls to love the dress and feel comfortable, you dont want her to be annoyed and feel uncomfortable that day.
IrishBride1109
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Re: best woman doesnt want to wear black...
I am probably gonig to be of no help, but I am also doing eggplant for my girls. My FH's sister is the best woman and she is wearing the same dress as the BMs, but in black. She is carrying the same flowers though I think (haven't gotten that far yet). We all discussed it and thought it would look more balanced with her in black. So I agree with your vision.
Maybe have him try to talk to her and see why she doesn't want to do it so you can address her concerns. Maybe she feels she will stand out too much or something? It's hard when people don't cooperate with something we think is not a big deal, but sometimes if you can figure out why you can address it and they may be more agreeable. I hope this works out for you! In the end I do think it's your wedding and people should kind of suck it up, but not everyone feels that way so you have to work with the personalities you have involved.
RockysGirl
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Re: best woman doesnt want to wear black...
aw, I like that idea of him using his sister for best woman. We were going to do that also. In the beginning, we had even discussed DH's sister wearing a feminine suit that matched with the guys' tuxes. lol. But then he ended up using his close friend instead, so it never happened.
I think she really SHOULD wear the same colors as the men if she'll be standing on their side. It'll just look nice and make more sense. I would hope that she would give into what you and her brother want for YOUR wedding. If not, then I don't know. It's just rude of her to say no, if she doesn't have a good reason for it. How old is she??
Well, I hope everything works out. Best of luck to you.
ItalianMcBride09
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Re: best woman doesnt want to wear black...
My best woman is wearing the same dress and color as the bridesmaids
had to add Bridesmaids are wearing charcoal and so are the groomsmen
BrooklynGroomzilla
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Yeah, I mean it is nice and all to sit down and weigh their opinions, but in the end, frankly, it is you and your groom's wedding. Not their's. We had a similar issue with my FW's sister, who is one of the bridesmaids. She had her heart set on a completely different set of colors than what we wanted and did not go with our scheme at all.
She wouldn't let up on it until I set my Groom Foot down and told her 'Listen. I don't care if we tell you to wear a pink dress with green polka dots. On that dress, you WILL wear it. You will also SMILE as if it was the greatest gift on earth. You will also hold in any little snide comment that lingers in your heart or I swear to you, the closest you'll come to the bridal party that day is when me and LeeAnne go around shaking people's hands and saying thanks.'
That shut her into absolute silence.
eren718
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Re: best woman doesnt want to wear black...
thanks for the reality check everyone! She is 39 and the only married person in the bridal party, so it really does make sense for her to wear something different.
wo0shply
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Re: best woman doesnt want to wear black...
can she wear the same color dress as your BMs and have a black sash?
mosh424
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Re: best woman doesnt want to wear black...
Posted by wo0shply
can she wear the same color dress as your BMs and have a black sash?
ITA, my friend had a best woman in her wedding and she wore the same thing as the bridesmaid only didn't carry flowers because she didn't want to.
MrsInglima
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I would. It's your wedding and tough for her. If she's got a problem with it too bad. Ask her if it's the dress or the color. If it's the color she doesn't have a choice, if it's the dress maybe you two can find a better one?
eren718
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Re: best woman doesnt want to wear black...
Hurray! Thanks for the encouragement to talk to her again bc we decided she would wear a two piece dress witha black skirt with either purple (to match the bridesmaids) or white top and a black bolero! I am thrilled!
twoifbysea
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Re: best woman doesnt want to wear black...
We have a Best Woman instead of a Best Man, it's FH's sister. She wants to wear black, a very simple satin tuxedo-like dress. What I did was order her extra fabric when we ordered the dresses for the BP so she will have a sash that matches the girls.
Will your Best Woman settle to wear a darker version of the BP dresses?
eren718
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I think we are working it out - hurray! Do you have a pic of what she is wearing?
IrishBride1109
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I'm so glad it's working out. And I think you'll feel better about it knowing she's happy with the outcome too!
GinaZ
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Re: best woman doesnt want to wear black...
maybe ask ehr to wear what you want for the ceremony and pictures. Then tell her she can change during the cocktail hour if she wants.
caligirl87
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Re: best woman doesnt want to wear black...
Posted by GinaZ
maybe ask ehr to wear what you want for the ceremony and pictures. Then tell her she can change during the cocktail hour if she wants.
I like this idea. Might be a little expensive though, but if she really doesn't want to wear black, it might be worth it to her.
