Ugh! FH and I just had a HUGE fight tonight about the wedding and the planning and the booking. I'm so upset, basically he freaked out on me because I wanted to be more proactive on the booking of super important things for fear that they will be all booked by the time we get to them. Well, he blew up and yelled and said that I'm being crazy and controlling and nasty things were said. Now, I'm at my house and he's at his. Why is this so complicated?????
(sorry just needed to vent a little bit, thanks for bearin with me here)
hayleyandsteve
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Re: Big Fight Tonight
Sorry!
Things can definitely be stressful during wedding planning, but try to focus on the MARRIAGE rather than the WEDDING.
You still have plenty of time to book your major vendors, and the details will all fall into place.
For now, why not do your research... get everything in mind and on paper, and when you both are comfortable, then start visiting and booking vendors?
Good luck!
PegaLega
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Re: Big Fight Tonight
I agree with Hayley, you have so much time, dont make yourself and your FH crazy about booking everything now. You have time, take it to decide and be sure of the things you want. I didnt book any of my vendors until 8 months prior to my wedding and I was engaged for over 2 years....everyone I wanted was still available.
Try to remember-its about your marriage and keep that in mind when the stress gets crazy with planning
Christine N Ralph
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Re: Big Fight Tonight
I totally understand how you feel!!! My wedding is much further away from yours and I am going crazy about wanting to book the vendors already. So I understand what you are going through. I think that by nature girls are more planners then guys and being that this is a VERY important day, you want the vendors of choice. I couldnt go without knowing who I would be using, so I say talk to him and see if you can come to an agreement about a time where you can go and look at vendors.
I am really interested in photography. (to me thats most important, besides the rh) and FH and I agreed on a time to have the photographer booked by.
Try not to overload him with vendors and instead do one at a time, this way he might accept it better...
GiantsBride
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Re: Big Fight Tonight
I understand too! My FH is long distance, so I am doing a majority (all at this point actually) of the vendor visiting/booking. He is pretty supportive, but at times he kon the 'you don't have to be so stressed out about this' position. I think he forgets that I am moving come June and need this stuff to be handled, because I can't expect my mom to do it for me, although she would because she's a saint. The best thing that he did say once though, while my FMIL was giving me the same, 'you have so much time, don't rush into decisions or stress out speech' - FYI I have only booked the RH, flowers and limos - and all were because of connections - but my FH says to his mom, that's just how she is ~ it may sound bad or like nothing, but to me it was so nice to hear he was accepting of my tendencies to stress out at times... of course that was just one moment in the whole planning debacle - usually it's more him not doing anything me getting mad at him not doing anything. So, after this entire long winded rant, my main purpose of saying this is during this whole ordeal sometimes things are going to be sucky and you're going to fight and other times you'll fight as a team against some outside conflict, and other times you'll be so supportive and wonderful. I think it comes with the stressful territory of wanting everything to be special and just right. And to think I thought this was going to be a cake walk.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: Big Fight Tonight
It took about 4 months after we were engaged to get FH to let me book our first vendor!! He was also very stubborn with me, but if you dont force it, he will come around.... my fh although hesitant at first is def way on board with me about doin wedding stuff and its amazing! dont worry... jus give him some time...
Vineyard72509
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Re: Big Fight Tonight
Hang in there hun I think its normal... wait until things cool off and just let him know that you want to make sure that you are able to get the big things out of the way because if you wait you'll be even more stressed out! My FH couldn't understand why I wanted everythign done quickly, then things started to book and he realized- he also told me that the thought of putting money down everywhere freaked him out alittle- just talk to him ~calmly~, and unfortunely, for your own benefit, wait until its a good time for him- we as women know that this works in our advantage I hope it works out though- worse comes to worse, throw him a guilt trip that you don't want to feel like you have to do this all on your own and you were really hoping to share all the planning with him. If he can't handle it, you will be forced to do it with MOH, FMIL, MOH.. ect. Good Luck! And hang in their tonight
DCW 2008
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Re: Big Fight Tonight
I am sorry to hear that. Just try to work things out with your FH. I had the same problem. My FH and I were fighting for 2 weeks about $$ and Planning and finally he came around. I hope you are feeling better. Things will work out!
philsdeezy
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Re: Big Fight Tonight
If it's in your budget, due your self a favor hire a wedding planner. Trust me.
soon2bMrs P
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Re: Big Fight Tonight
Thanks girls!! Although last night was terrible, it seems to have gotten better today. We both made a compromise (something we both need to get used to doing) and have a tentative plan/schedule. So for now lets hope its stays calm. And thanks again for listening to me rant last night.
