Bit of a 'am I mooching?' dillema.

So, I have a friend whose parents have a lot of money. 2 1/2 years ago they payed for a trip for 4 of us to go to Disney (we knew all along that they were paying for the hotel, but they told us a week beforehand that they were paying for everything - so we really couldn't get out of it).

So, fast foward to this year, my friend's family is going to Hawaii for a week, and my friend has a disability that would prevent her from being able to do a lot of the things that she would have wanted to do. So her mother suggests going to Disney again.

This time, my friend and I said we were only going if we could pay (they said they would pay for hotels, but that's really their timeshare anyways). So they said fine.

Well, my friend had an unexpected bill to pay to the NY state governement, and I went over my funds more closely, and realized that we couldn't pay. So we apologized to my friend, and asked her to cancel.

Well, apparently her parents don't want her staying alone, and want her to be able to go on vacation too, so now they're probably going to offer to pay for everything.

I really appreciate the gesture, but I don't want to be a mooch. We know that part of the reason they do this is because they want their daughter to be able to do things like this while she's still able to (she has MS), but I really feel awful since this will be the second trip that she pays for.

The last time we got them a very large gift basket (as well as promised them my first born). But I just feel awful doing this again

Should I go on the trip? Should I see if we can do something that my friend and I can afford that's closer by? Other options?

Thanks.

What would your friend like? If she were in your shoes would she do the same thing? I think that if I were the one with MS and I could afford to take everyone, then I would want to go to Disney. But I would be up front and ask her. Lisa

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Posted by lrs2005

What would your friend like? If she were in your shoes would she do the same thing? I think that if I were the one with MS and I could afford to take everyone, then I would want to go to Disney. But I would be up front and ask her. Lisa

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She assures us that she nor her parents feel that we're mooching. But I still feel bad.

It's understandable that you feel the way you feel, but it seems like they really want you to be there and if they insisted that you're not mooching, then it's obvious that it's not a problem for them. I say go, just be sure to thank them like crazy

what about offering to pay for atleast part of the trip and if it would make you feel better, even offer to pay back the rest at a later date. I think its awesome that they are offering to pay for you guys to go, but I definitely understand how it makes you feel extremely guilty if you were to accept.

Wait and see if they offer, if you really dont feel like you are comfortable to take their offer, then you just have to explain to them that you cant do it. I, personaly,would rather them be upset over not allowing them to pay for my trip, as opposed to thinking that I am a mooch.

(and I am DEFINITELY not saying you are a mooch if you take the offer, just saying thats how I would feel in I was in that position.)

Well, I feel like you shouldn't go and let them pay. Especially this time, when they're in the position of their daughter's trip being cancelled at the last minute now that you guys can't pay.
However, if you could pay them back (maybe a certain amount every week) and let them know that you insist on doing that, then I wouldn't feel as bad. If you could pay them back on some sort of payment schedule, I'd go for it.

I don't think it's mooching. They are offering to pay and in return while you get a vacation you are helping them help there daughter experience things that she may run out of time to experience.
I think getting them a nice give and a personal thank you note is great. People who can't afford something generally won't offer so I say go for it and help your friend enjoy herself.

I feel that it is their money to decide what to do with it, and if this is something that they want to do with it, it is their choice... if they felt you were a mooch I doubt they would make this offer to you...

If you had a lot of money would you pay for a vacation for a person that you felt was a mooch?? probably not!

there really are people out there who are so very generous and genuinely want to treat people.

Im sure they understand that you wanted to go but cant now. i would accept their offer for your friends sake and have a great time with her. i think their daughters happy memories will be all the repayment necessary!

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Posted by 12-3Princess

Well, I feel like you shouldn't go and let them pay. Especially this time, when they're in the position of their daughter's trip being cancelled at the last minute now that you guys can't pay.
However, if you could pay them back (maybe a certain amount every week) and let them know that you insist on doing that, then I wouldn't feel as bad. If you could pay them back on some sort of payment schedule, I'd go for it.

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i agree