Bit of a problem with my aunt....

Ok here it is.. my great aunt (my grandmothers sister) is sticking her nose in to my wedding.. yet again. She told me that I didn't have to do STD's only because she never heard of anyone doing them.. every time I speak to her she is nit picking something about the wedding.. why am I choosing the colors I want.. why am I not booking with such-and such photographer 'because he did a great job at your cousins' Bat Mitzvahs' (the photographer she wants me to get is in NJ btw- meaning more $$ for him to travel to Queens), and all in all she is just being a down right PITA. She even went so far as to tell me (I'm a plus size) that I shouldn't get married until I can lose alot of weight.. that really hurt. FH is also mad at her as well because he hates seeing me upset each time I talk to her.

I love her and I want her advice on certain things such as my dress because she does have good fashion taste (she is the closest family I got at the moment) but for most things I want FH and I plan and do for ourselves. I think the worst thing I told her that she got mad was that FH and I decided that we didn't want small children at the wedding with the exception of our FG. She got mad because she told a cousin of mine she can bring her two kids (who are 2 and 5 yrs old). Now I have to be the one to call the cousin and tell her that my aunt was wrong.. sheesh! I think she should call her back and tell her she was wrong about that one..

I know she's trying to be 'helpful' in her own way but its driving me nuts atm.

Thanks for letting me vent...you help me feel a bit sane now.

bump

Be as discreet about the wedding as possible every time you talk to her. She may have a great fashion sense, but her great taste is not worth risking your happiness.

i say leave her out of your plans...She really has no business to tell you what to do or who to pick...I would stop discussing these things with her or just put your foot down about things. Some family members try to tell me i should do this and how will i handle this...I sometimes do scream and tell people that im handling it and to trust me to do a good job and basically go off but thats bc they dont know how to speak either lol.

Or sometimes ill just say ill see about a vendor they want me to use, but i just do my thing and they wont hear about anything else until after i book.

thanks ladies it's just that I don't want to offend her and she's been a huge help in other aspects of my life.. I don't want to leave her out totally but I want to go and book w/e vendors I want then tell her 'this is who I books and this is who I am using' so that she can't say anything once we put our deposits down on things.
Its also why I am not taking her dress shopping until I have narrowed it down to at least 5 dresses I like.. that way it's less time I get to spend with her complaining.

Yea I would agree in stop involving her...
if she is only bringin you down.

VENT AWAY baby.. no probs we all need it.

What I would do is just press the ignore button and try not to ask her for as much advice. I realize you want input as well as we all wish to have it but sometimes its best to do things alone or with fh only. If she is making comments saying your too fat and that you should drop pounds in order to get married then that person really does not need to be apart of your life that much.

My mother is doing this to me currently. We have had a great relationship for years and now as of this month when this week we are doing dress shopping she is being hurtful to me. Calling me fat when she is five times the size of me. Saying she was thin at her wedding and why can't i be. I wanted to put my foot through her head for saying that because she is eating three hot dogs as she is stating it. NO ONE needs to talk to you like that. So i look deep inside that person and she why they are making those statements. For my mom I know she is scared for me to go for your aunt it just sounds like she is not tactful and can be cruel.

I would truly limit her advice and you giving complete details to her and just focus on what you want and fh wants.

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Posted by nifheim

blankness is a problem

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You ladies are truly the best!

You and FH put this all in focus for me I am just going to call her in when I absolutely need to do it.. if not if she asks 'all is fine'.

I feel so much better!