Bit of an issue....

WilliesBride Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:23 AM

Bit of an issue....

FH has 4 siblings. A brother (who will be his best man) 2 sisters (who are in my BP) and one who will be doing a reading (not really that close to her she doesn't live close and I have only met her around holidays) But we still wanted to honor her in a way.....hense the reading...

Now for the problem.....FFIL got married a few years ago and has a stepdaughter who is maybe 20......FFIL wants to know how we were going to include her in the wedding too....

I have no idea I wasn't really thinking about it.....Do you think it is wrong not to include her, or if I do how would I do it?? What would she do?? We really don't want to have another reading.......

What do all of you ladies think??? TIA!!!!

Katie&Chris2006 Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:25 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

Are you having programs or rose petals/bubbles, etc? Perhaps she can act as a greeter and pass these things out?

DNicholes Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:26 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

Maybe have her bring up the gifts during your ceremony? You need two people for that....

PattyK Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:27 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

If you want to inlcude her you could always ask her to greet guests for the cocktail hour (my cousin did this with her half sister at her wedding) or she could always hand out programs.

WilliesBride Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:27 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

Posted by Katie&Chris2006

Are you having programs or rose petals/bubbles, etc? Perhaps she can act as a greeter and pass these things out?

I am and I also need someone to open the church door after the BP goes though (for me and Dad) also make sure my train is fixed before walking......But I thought that was too childish for her and not 'worthy' enough.......what do you think???

WilliesBride Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:28 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

Posted by DNicholes

Maybe have her bring up the gifts during your ceremony? You need two people for that....

Thank you but not having a Catholic Ceremony......

Kurtsk8 Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:28 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

I have a similar situation, but it's a younger cousin...we are having her pass things out before the ceremony. ie., crypacks, petal bags, etc. I think it's a nice way to include them and she was happy when we asked her! It gives them a chance to mingle and look like she's a part of the wedding. Good Luck..it will work out!

DNicholes Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:30 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

I had my cousins hand out my programs & ribbon wands........

do you think she'd mind doing it?

melissankurt07 Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:33 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

If it is a Catholic ceremony you could have her bring up the gifts for communion.

melissankurt07 Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:35 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

Posted by melissankurt07

If it is a Catholic ceremony you could have her bring up the gifts for communion.

ETA:: DUh!!! I just read that you are not having a Catholic Mass. You could just have her pass out programs or bubbles. Other than that I can't think of anything you would need extra people for. I have stepbrothers but we are not close so I never thought of including them either. Good Luck

Nina_m74 Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:38 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

I don't think it's wrong not to include her - I am one of 7 kids of FH is one of 5 - there aren't enough roles to use everyone!

If she would be the only person without a role, I could see her feeling left out. We are having one of my sisters announce the BP and parents into the Reception, maybe she could do that instead of having the DJ do it?

MJDoc12 Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:42 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

honestly - i would tell FFIL that you have already delegated enough jobs to ppl--and she can either hand out programs or do nothing

it really pisssses me off when ppl have to give you even more drama by saying 'well you should have a job for my child' its not like you are very close to her or the family. she doesn't have to have a job at all.

its obviously up to you--but i think she can hand out programs and that's ti

usually your train is fixed by your MOH up at the altar -- and someone from your church opens the doors and such for you and fixes your train beforehand so that no one has to miss out on your entrance.

WilliesBride Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:45 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

Thank you for all your advice.....they are all great

FH has a ton of nieces and nephews.....I was hoping to have them all do the programs and the petals and anything else that needed to be handed out. Their are about 13 of them (which is why no FG/RB.....how do you choose...... )

Anyways.......I was just afraid of not making her feel important enough.....But FFIL won't let it go.......he asked what she is going to do for the wedding everytime he talked to FH......

Thanks for all your help.......if you have any other suggestions.........please keep them coming!!!!

MF9282 Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:48 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

I was going to suggest the gifts as well. If I were her I would personally rather do nothing than be asked to greet guest or hand out bubbles/petals/rice lol JMO.
I think the gifts is a nice thing to do if you don't have some one doing it already .

Katie&Chris2006 Posted: Sep 20, 2007 10:48 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

Posted by WilliesBride

Posted by Katie&Chris2006

Are you having programs or rose petals/bubbles, etc? Perhaps she can act as a greeter and pass these things out?

I am and I also need someone to open the church door after the BP goes though (for me and Dad) also make sure my train is fixed before walking......But I thought that was too childish for her and not 'worthy' enough.......what do you think???

I don't think it's too childish. It would be a way to include her, even it's a small thing. Also, we didn't have a DOC at our wedding, so DH's uncle kept an eye to make sure all the DIY was placed properly, all our little details were in place, etc. Just another thought!

If not, I really don't think it would be a huge issue if you didn't include her. She is not overly close to you and FH so it's not necessary. But maybe you offer and leave it up to her?

MissAngel Posted: Sep 20, 2007 11:38 AM

Re: Bit of an issue....

My mom's friend's daughter was in a similar situation and she decided to do a photo/polaroid guestbook. She then had the younger 1/2 sister (she was 18 I think) go around with her friend taking all the photos and putting the book together...apparently she had a blast doing it too. I guess it depends on the person and if you're doing a book like that, but if you are maybe that's an idea? Good luck!

Kara and Todd Posted: Sep 20, 2007 12:49 PM

Re: Bit of an issue....

Posted by WilliesBride

Posted by Katie&Chris2006

Are you having programs or rose petals/bubbles, etc? Perhaps she can act as a greeter and pass these things out?

I am and I also need someone to open the church door after the BP goes though (for me and Dad) also make sure my train is fixed before walking......But I thought that was too childish for her and not 'worthy' enough.......what do you think???

The limo drivers do this.