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Bitter Friends?

Bridex100 Posted:

Bitter Friends?

I can't help but feel disappointed with some of my supposedly good friends. They are always there for me when the times get tough but don't seem to like being around when the times are good.

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I can't help but begin to question our friendship.

Are any of you in similiar situations?

Of course I love the supportive friends that I have.
MJDoc12 Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?

i think it's one of those things that happens as we get older. friends & relationships begin to change a little as we get move involved in our own lives. unfortunately sometimes jealousy and bitterness comes along with this. like a friend who would always be happy for you---now maybe isn't jumping up and down for your successes cause they might be struggling on their own and feel envious. is it right? no..absolutely not. does it happen? Yup. the key is figuring out who is TRULY there for you in good AND bad and the in between. sometimes u find out that the friend you thought was so great---maybe isn't the same person anymore.

sorry you're feeling down! but just think of it in a way as growing pains---we all go through it.!
MrsR72806 Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?

oh yeah! My 'BFF' was my MOH and was SOOOOO excited to help out and get ready for the wedding with me...she turned around and never paid for her dress (so it held everyone up) and never wanted to come with to do anything, wasn't helping my mom with my shower....the list goes on! She was so selfish! Lets just say she's not my MOH anymore and we haven't spoken in two months. I'm sad that it turned out like this we have been friends since 7th grade....I think this process really shows you who your true friends are.

EJSD2006 Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?

oh, im going thru the same thing right now. 3 supposed friends just rsvp'd that they decline coming to my wedding. you learn who your real friends are when you're planning your wedding. the green headed monster comes out and in the end you're better off knowing where you stand.
conigs25 Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?


Posted by Bridex100

I can't help but feel disappointed with some of my supposedly good friends. They are always there for me when the times get tough but don't seem to like being around when the times are good.

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I can't help but begin to question our friendship.

Are any of you in similiar situations?

Of course I love the supportive friends that I have.



I know EXACTLY what you mean
JXNOscar Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?


Posted by MJDoc12

i think it's one of those things that happens as we get older. friends & relationships begin to change a little as we get move involved in our own lives. unfortunately sometimes jealousy and bitterness comes along with this. like a friend who would always be happy for you---now maybe isn't jumping up and down for your successes cause they might be struggling on their own and feel envious. is it right? no..absolutely not. does it happen? Yup. the key is figuring out who is TRULY there for you in good AND bad and the in between. sometimes u find out that the friend you thought was so great---maybe isn't the same person anymore.

sorry you're feeling down! but just think of it in a way as growing pains---we all go through it.!



I second this completely
MrsWmson2be Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?

You bring up a good issue. Actually, I had a huge wakeup call as to who my real friends were with my wedding.

I asked one of my former 'friends' who I went to law school with and had known for 7 years to be one of my bridesmaids. She was very excited, and accepted the offer. She never offered me or my family any help with anything, not even my shower, and didn't have the decency to even send back the shower rsvp to my sister! Low and behold, 2 months before my wedding, she didn't show up for her dress fitting appointment. The next day, she sends me an E-MAIL telling me that due to personal issues that she couldn't reveal to me, she was unable to be in my wedding party (this was after I ordered her bouquet). Not surprisingly, not only didn't she send a card or a gift, she never sent back her rsvp and I haven't heard from her since.

Another of the girls I invited (and who I was college roommates with 7 years ago) never sent back her rsvp, never responded to two emails and one voicemail I sent asking if she and her husband were coming b/c i needed a final headcount. Also, no card, no gift, no 'I'm sorry'.

A third girl, another college roommate who knew about my date as soon as I booked the hall a year and a half ago, decided she couldn't take a Sunday off working to come to the wedding.

Needless to say, I now have three less friends that I knew for years. Meanwhile, friends I met last summer all made arrangements to attend. Go figure.
cherryj24 Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?

Yes, I know exactly what you mean. It hurts, bad. I have it going on with family too. I have been engaged a year, my wedding is in four months and I am closing on my house next week. Would you believe I have MORE than a handful of FAMILY and friends who have not ONCE asked me a SINGLE question about how anything is going!!!!???!!! I mean, it really hurts when people who supposedly love you can't be happy for you.

Then they wonder why they are not invited to my wedding...HA
cherryj24 Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?


Posted by MrsWmson2be

I asked one of my former 'friends' who I went to law school with and had known for 7 years to be one of my bridesmaids. She was very excited, and accepted the offer. She never offered me or my family any help with anything, not even my shower, and didn't have the decency to even send back the shower rsvp to my sister! Low and behold, 2 months before my wedding, she didn't show up for her dress fitting appointment. The next day, she sends me an E-MAIL telling me that due to personal issues that she couldn't reveal to me, she was unable to be in my wedding party (this was after I ordered her bouquet). Not surprisingly, not only didn't she send a card or a gift, she never sent back her rsvp and I haven't heard from her since.

Another of the girls I invited (and who I was college roommates with 7 years ago) never sent back her rsvp, never responded to two emails and one voicemail I sent asking if she and her husband were coming b/c i needed a final headcount. Also, no card, no gift, no 'I'm sorry'.

A third girl, another college roommate who knew about my date as soon as I booked the hall a year and a half ago, decided she couldn't take a Sunday off working to come to the wedding.

.



How appalling!!! How rude! How mean. I am so sorry you had to go through that.
stephanief Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?


Posted by Bridex100

I can't help but feel disappointed with some of my supposedly good friends. They are always there for me when the times get tough but don't seem to like being around when the times are good.

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I can't help but begin to question our friendship.

Are any of you in similiar situations?

Of course I love the supportive friends that I have.


I feel the same way, I have a friend that I was very close with in High School. We have drifted apart but we still keep in touch. She did not even RESPOND to my wedding. I was very hurt, even if she could not come, at least respond. I sent her numerous emails with no response. Obviously, I will not be emailing her anymore. I am sorry you are feeling this way . here are some
stephanief Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?



Another of the girls I invited (and who I was college roommates with 7 years ago) never sent back her rsvp, never responded to two emails and one voicemail I sent asking if she and her husband were coming b/c i needed a final headcount. Also, no card, no gift, no 'I'm sorry'.


This is exactly what happened to me, how totally rude and unacceptable. True colors were definitely shown and I do not have time for people like that in my life.


MrsWmson2be Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?


Posted by cherryj24


Posted by MrsWmson2be

I asked one of my former 'friends' who I went to law school with and had known for 7 years to be one of my bridesmaids. She was very excited, and accepted the offer. She never offered me or my family any help with anything, not even my shower, and didn't have the decency to even send back the shower rsvp to my sister! Low and behold, 2 months before my wedding, she didn't show up for her dress fitting appointment. The next day, she sends me an E-MAIL telling me that due to personal issues that she couldn't reveal to me, she was unable to be in my wedding party (this was after I ordered her bouquet). Not surprisingly, not only didn't she send a card or a gift, she never sent back her rsvp and I haven't heard from her since.

Another of the girls I invited (and who I was college roommates with 7 years ago) never sent back her rsvp, never responded to two emails and one voicemail I sent asking if she and her husband were coming b/c i needed a final headcount. Also, no card, no gift, no 'I'm sorry'.

A third girl, another college roommate who knew about my date as soon as I booked the hall a year and a half ago, decided she couldn't take a Sunday off working to come to the wedding.

.



How appalling!!! How rude! How mean. I am so sorry you had to go through that.



Thanks However, I was so busy with work, the wedding planning and other stuff, I didn't shed a tear. But in the end I'm grateful that I saw people for what they were. What if I continued to keep going out of my way for them and to their events and occasions? Better I know now.

I traveled 2 hours (and paid for a hotel 2 nights) to go to one of the girl's baby shower, and spent $75 on two gifts for her.

I had also given gifts and attended the ex-bridesmaids baby shower and son's christening. I felt like kicking myself in the a$$ after I saw how they 'reciprocated'. Even if they couldn't have afforded a gift, it meant something to me for them to at least come to the ceremony if they didn't feel right coming to the party giftless (if that was the determining factor for 2 of them)
PrincessConsuela Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?

first
to everyone that this has happend to.

second - too bad we go through this and find out who are our real friends durning this wedding/growing up process.

and if they dont want to be friends anymore then we are all better off without these people in our lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to all of you again
MrsWmson2be Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?


Posted by stephanief



Another of the girls I invited (and who I was college roommates with 7 years ago) never sent back her rsvp, never responded to two emails and one voicemail I sent asking if she and her husband were coming b/c i needed a final headcount. Also, no card, no gift, no 'I'm sorry'.


This is exactly what happened to me, how totally rude and unacceptable. True colors were definitely shown and I do not have time for people like that in my life.





Yes. You get to that point and then wonder what kind of 'friends' these people were in the first place when they didn't even have the decency to mail back a self addressed envelope. Even my MIL's friends, some of whom DH & I never even MET, sent back the rsvp saying they weren't coming.

I'm sorry that you went through this too. It really does stink that some people can be so rude when the bride and groom are under enough stress, deadlines, and financial constraints.
cluelessbride Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?



Sometimes I've found it works the other way around too. I've lost a friend whose wedding I was in b/c she was just out of control bridezilla. Very, very demanding and self-centered. So you find out who your friends are when you're a BM too.
futuremrsGafforio Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?

Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.....

pgonzo Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?

i am going through the same thing right now with two of my bestest friends.. i'd never expected it! a lot of ppl are telling me that it might be jealousy or changes in life that we go through. it just ***** that it had to happen a year before i get married! i feel like im losing two important ppl in my life. i havent spoken to them for 2 1/2 months.
stephanief Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?


Posted by MrsWmson2be


Posted by stephanief



Another of the girls I invited (and who I was college roommates with 7 years ago) never sent back her rsvp, never responded to two emails and one voicemail I sent asking if she and her husband were coming b/c i needed a final headcount. Also, no card, no gift, no 'I'm sorry'.


This is exactly what happened to me, how totally rude and unacceptable. True colors were definitely shown and I do not have time for people like that in my life.





Yes. You get to that point and then wonder what kind of 'friends' these people were in the first place when they didn't even have the decency to mail back a self addressed envelope. Even my MIL's friends, some of whom DH & I never even MET, sent back the rsvp saying they weren't coming.

I'm sorry that you went through this too. It really does stink that some people can be so rude when the bride and groom are under enough stress, deadlines, and financial constraints.



Yeah,a nd the part that got to me was that this person had just recently gotten married so she should have know that you need to send those RSVP's back...I see her as being very self absorbed...oh well
afrodyt2000 Posted:

Re: Bitter Friends?

lol your post completely describes my now ex-best friend. I haven't spoken to her in almost a year, right after I got my new engagment ring. She acted all weird and told me it was ugly and not 'my style' (she said all this the day I got the ring) when she knew I basically picked it out. It was really strange and she just sounded really jealous over that and the fact that I am in law school etc. it was really sad since we were friends since 6th grade. Sometimes you just need to get rid of the negative people in your life. They can really bring you down. My mom told me that misery loves company and she was fine being my friend until I was happy and finally getting everything I wanted (and worked for) including the engagement, my ring and my profession. It's sad that someone you care about can be so bitter and jealous but you don't have to let them get to you.

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