Black Sheep and bartender question

We all have family we wished we didn't have to invite. Well....here's what mine did at my wedding...need ADVICE.

First.... At my cousins wedding last year they gave a check based on a closed account. At mine they did not even sign the check that they gave us. Then their daughter (8 yrs old) began taking drink orders from the other guests and collecting the drinks from the bar...and she received $17 in tips.

Aside from serving a minor, I also found out that the bartenders were taking tips all night. I specifically asked them not to and that I would take care of them at the end of the night. Everyone I spoke to was tipping the bartenders....

What are your thoughts on my not giving them the tip I promised.

First of all, bartendars should NOT give an 8 year old a drink, no matter who it is for. Report him to the owner/manager. What if the little girl took a few sips out of a drink and got sick or worse? That is totally insane.

Many guests will tip a bartendar during the night and I am not sure it really upsets me. But if I asked them NOT to and they did anyway I would NOT tip them myself. Tips are not required! Tips are for a job well-done, a thankyou. If your wishes were not followed then they did not do a good job and therefore should not be given any additional payments(tips).

I am a bartender. (did it as a 2nd job)
I would never give a child a drink, regardless of where it was!

Next, if someone asked me not to take tips, which happened to me once, I'd respect that.
I was paid a nice amount at the nights end.
(A bachelor party)
What were they trying to do make extra without your knowledge?

I'd give them nothing.

You gotta wonder what goes on in people's minds sometimes!!!??!

I wouldn't give them a nickel, either. Out of curiosity, why are you concerned now - after the fact?

As for the unsigned check, tacky!!!

Hope you had a beautiful day!!