Black Tie

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Posted by GroomsMom

My daughter is putting 'Black Tie' on her wedding invitations. She said that means tuxedos only. Some of my friends said that means a dark suit is also acceptable. I thought a dark suit was acceptable for 'Black Tie Optional'. What is your opinion?

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I always thought Black Tie meant tuxedo. Then again, even for Black Tie Optional, women always wear something formal.

The last Black Tie Optional wedding I attended was in September and maybe 15% of the men wore suits (not all dark either) and the rest wore a tuxedo. All the women were in formal wear though.

Black Tie does mean tuxedos but I wouldn't throw anyone out for wearing anything else. Contrary to what many may think, many men do not know that a Saturday night function calls for formal attire and even if told, won't wear a tuxedo.

I have had this long standing issue with my family for a long time. They feel to put black tie on an invitation is an imposition and an expense to a man. I beg to differ.

As I have stated before in other posts, most women have at least 2-4 formal or cocktail outfits that they can wear to a formal event at any given time. If this same woman has more than one event with the same people as guests, she cannot (heaven forbid) wear the same ensemble to those same events. At this point she may have to buy a new one. That includes: dress, shoes, hosiery,and accessories - all of which can add up to possibly $200-300.

But when a man is asked or expected to dress a certain way (i.e. in a tuxedo) it becomes a 'financial burden' to either buy or rent one. A tuxedo should be a staple in most men's wardrobes. You can get a semi-decent tux at Syms or Men's Wearhouse at a relatively good price - noone will make you go to Brooks Brothers. Once it is worn only TWICE, it has paid for itself. The look of the tux, if not too trendy, can be changed with different ties and vests which are not nearly as expensive as female accessories.

Even if you put 'black tie' on an invitation, there will always be the oen guy in the ugly tan suit. It is unavoidable.

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Posted by am470

A dark suit is acceptable. I think it is pretty rare nowadays to see black tie. Most people, including myself, put black tie optional.

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I don't know that it's so rare- I've gotten a number of 'black tie' invites in the past few years. I agree though, black tie optional or some derivative thereof is more common now. We did black tie preferred.

Personally, I prefer to see 'black tie' on the 'reception' card and not on the invitation itself. It off-sets the symmetry and is visually unappealing to me.

I disagree on the occurrences of 'black tie'. I get plenty of invitations that still ask people to dress in a formal manner. I have also seen 'black tie preferred' which to me is a nicer way of saying 'black tie optional.' Either way, it looks elegant to have dark tuxedos or suits.

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Posted by Goldi1021
A tuxedo should be a staple in most men's wardrobes.

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I must agree with this but mostly for NYer's.

I have been invited to last minute formal affairs and been able to call at least 5 different male friends who all own tuxedos (assuming FI was not able to attend). I recall only one guy I dated who had to rent a tux for an affair and when he did not make it to NY in time (in Atlanta) I called a friend who was able to attend (after buying a clean shirt).

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Posted by Goldi1021
A tuxedo should be a staple in most men's wardrobes.

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I think that's a really presumptuous statement and quite frankly, untrue.

Groomsmom - Black Tie means tux OR dark suit.

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Posted by eogara

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Posted by Goldi1021
A tuxedo should be a staple in most men's wardrobes.

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I think that's a really presumptuous statement and quite frankly, untrue.

Groomsmom - Black Tie means tux OR dark suit.

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It is my opinion that a tuxedo should be a staple. I also said MOST not ALL. I don't think an opinion can be construed as presumptuous OR untrue. We are all entitled to our opinions. What WOULD be presumptuous would be to ASSUME that all men DO have a tuxedo when they don't.

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Posted by Goldi1021

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Posted by eogara

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Posted by Goldi1021
A tuxedo should be a staple in most men's wardrobes.

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I think that's a really presumptuous statement and quite frankly, untrue.

Groomsmom - Black Tie means tux OR dark suit.

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It is my opinion that a tuxedo should be a staple. I also said MOST not ALL. I don't think an opinion can be construed as presumptuous OR untrue. We are all entitled to our opinions. What WOULD be presumptuous would be to ASSUME that all men DO have a tuxedo when they don't.

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It was the word 'should' that I read as presumptuous.

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Posted by eogara

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Posted by Goldi1021

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Posted by eogara

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Posted by Goldi1021
A tuxedo should be a staple in most men's wardrobes.

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I think that's a really presumptuous statement and quite frankly, untrue.

Groomsmom - Black Tie means tux OR dark suit.

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It is my opinion that a tuxedo should be a staple. I also said MOST not ALL. I don't think an opinion can be construed as presumptuous OR untrue. We are all entitled to our opinions. What WOULD be presumptuous would be to ASSUME that all men DO have a tuxedo when they don't.

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It was the word 'should' that I read as presumptuous.

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Duly noted. Matter of opinion. I suppose we all used to different things and have different expectations. Truce.

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Posted by Goldi1021
Truce.

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I haven't heard 'truce' since I was about 11! I'm using that in my next fight with FH - thanks!

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Posted by Goldi1021

IT was either TRUCE or UNCLE. but UNCLE is sort of weird. Dont ya think?

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Since you weren't pulling on my hair, I'd say yes

LOL. This is no place for a cat fight. Though i bet our FHs would love to see it. I'm sick!

My wedding was black tie and some men wore black suits. Those who asked I told them it was fine.

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Thank you everyone for your opinions. Sorry to have started that little disagreement. I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

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No worries.