Black Tie???

I just received a wedding invitation that says 'black tie' on it...does this mean that my FH must wear a tuxedo or would a black suit be okay? i am in the wedding, so i will be wearing a long gown anyway....just curious if he is going to have to go out and rent a tux???

Thanks girls!

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Posted by dleeny

I've been to weddings where if it says black tie on the invite, most of the guests wear a tux. However, I think that a nice black suit would be fine. IMO

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I agree. I think it's a little rude to expect guests to rent a tux, but that's my opinion. My BIL is having a black tie wedding next month and he most definitle expects everyone to be in a tux. I think he's going to be disappointed.

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Posted by nferrandi

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Posted by dleeny

I've been to weddings where if it says black tie on the invite, most of the guests wear a tux. However, I think that a nice black suit would be fine. IMO

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I agree. I think it's a little rude to expect guests to rent a tux, but that's my opinion. My BIL is having a black tie wedding next month and he most definitle expects everyone to be in a tux. I think he's going to be disappointed.

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I know this is a 'touchy' subject with some folks, but I will never forget one particular wedding I went to where it said black tie on the invites and I overheard one of the male guests complaining about it. he said he took the tux rental fee out of the amount of the gift he was going to give the bride and groom.

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Posted by mfrsfeb

i agree touchy subject. IMO, it is enough to ask people to showers, wedding and then top it off with renting a tux. I think it is too much. I think nice black suit is more than acceptable. again JMO

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I agree.

No way would I go out and rent DH a tux for a 'Black tie' wedding, Its either a nice dark suit ( which he would wear if it was black tie or not) or we wouldnt attend at all.

Last time I started this thread I was accused LOL
My Opinion is that it is RUDE.

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Posted by june262004

Last time I started this thread I was accused LOL
My Opinion is that it is RUDE.

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I remember that!

lol

My cousin was the first and only one to do this in the family back in 1989.

She got married in Manhattan (did not live there and neither did her parents or her DH)

My Dad was on strike at the time. He had to rent a tux for him and my younger brother and pay for parking on top of it. I was away at college and didn't attend. It was really ridiculous considering my family does not travel in such circles nor are the men in my family ones who just own their own tux.

To make matters worse they had the reception at a small restaurant, no dancing just a string quartet for the entire time. All of the men were UNCOMFORTABLE and BORED the entire time.

At the same time I can understand why people do this because so many guest come dressed inappropriately to wedding. I've been to so many weddings where there is at least one woman in a 'hoochie-mamma dress' and a guy not in a suit. Sorry, I don't care if you are a ditchgigger, every man should have a suit.

A black suit is always acceptable for an affair that states 'Black Tie'.

I am definitely in the minority of thinking that it is rude to ask a guest to dress in a formal manner. I don't know about you ladies, but I have at least 3-4 dresses in my wardrobe that I could wear to a black tie function at any moment in time. Each ensemble, from top to bottom, (including dress, hosiery, shoes, handbags, specialty bras etc,) could easily cost upwards of $200+. But as a woman, it is almost expected to have formal attire in our wardrobes. To expect a man to have the same is an imposition? I don't think so. A man can go to SYMS and get a tux for a good price, wear it two times and get his money's worth - it would take a good 5 years for it to even go out of style. Whereas a woman would more than likely not wear the same formal dress to a function where all of her friends and/or family may be.

We are having a 'Black Tie Optional' wedding. We are one of the older couples on the boards and after a lifetime of going to cutsey weddings, we wanted an element of elegance, charm and formality to our function. Very few of our wedding guests will be under 30 years old. Most will be close to 40 and over. I venture to say that most of them own tuxes or at least a dark suit. I certainly would not expect an out of town guest, who has travel expenses in order to come to my wedding, to rent or buy a tuxedo. THAT would be RUDE. To expect that a grown, established, man have ONE piece of formal attire in his wardrobe isn't asking a lot. Not in the NYC area anyway IMO.

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Posted by David'sbride

I've been to so many weddings where there is at least one woman in a 'hoochie-mamma dress' and a guy not in a suit. Sorry, I don't care if you are a ditchgigger, every man should have a suit.

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Hoochie mamma!!!!!!

ohhhhhhhhhh...don't get me started on some women's attire at weddings I have been to!!

I can see both sides of the argument. I was disappointed with how some people dressed at my 'black tie optional' wedding.

But, I made it 'optional' because I didn't want to impose a financial strain on anyone. And, now I regret that decision because some people came dressed inappropriately and you can see them in A LOT of my pictures.

However, my mom's husband voluntarily bought a tux and he got it for $99. That was less than our groomsmen paid to RENT a tux

From now on, every party that I host (that's not at the house) will be 'formal attire'

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Posted by suven

I can see both sides of the argument. I was disappointed with how some people dressed at my 'black tie optional' wedding.

But, I made it 'optional' because I didn't want to impose a financial strain on anyone. And, now I regret that decision because some people came dressed inappropriately and you can see them in A LOT of my pictures.

However, my mom's husband voluntarily bought a tux and he got it for $99. That was less than our groomsmen paid to RENT a tux

From now on, every party that I host (that's not at the house) will be 'formal attire'

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It always amazes me when I see people so underdressed at weddings. Some people say less is more. well, I guess that is subjective. My sister got married in an Opera House in a beautiful town in Northern CA. It wasn't an ultra fancy wedding, but come on, it was on a Saturday night at a very nice place. My sisters co-workers showed up in mini skirts with cotton tops and some men came in sandals! I know CA is more laid back and casual, but come on! it's a wedding after all. at least put some shoes and socks on!

the place where my sister got married

You ladies are right. Some people just don't know how to dress. If people knew that a Saturday night function was automatically formal, there would be no need to indicate 'black tie' at all.

It seems to me that as the years go by, more and more things become less formal. I remember a time when me wore suits and sometimes tuxedos to Broadway shows and the opera. Now they go in jeans. I see how some people walk into houses or worship and I am amazed. I would never sit in a religious service, of any faith, without being dressed appropriately.

My mother got married at high noon on a Sunday in the 50s. It was a very formal function. Ladies dressed like ladies and men dressed like gentlemen. Yes, times and styles do change, but people need to exercise a little bit of social grace once in a while. JMO

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Posted by may2806

I just received a wedding invitation that says 'black tie' on it...does this mean that my FH must wear a tuxedo or would a black suit be okay? i am in the wedding, so i will be wearing a long gown anyway....just curious if he is going to have to go out and rent a tux???

Thanks girls!

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It really depends on where the wedding is.

Last night we went to a wedding in NYC- Saturday night- it was black tie- and my DH rented a tux. In NYC a saturday night wedding is always black tie..

Yes, there were some men in suits, but 90% of guests were in tuxedo