BLAH

I'm SO SORRY to hear about your grandfather! That is awful and I wish him all the best with the surgery on Monday!

You're understandably upset and angry right now. Let some of the anger and frustration and sadness out and then you will (hopefully) not want to write FH out of your life completely.

Yes, what he said was selfish and I'd be mad as hell at him, too... but you'll get past it, I promise.

Take a night off from him and take comfort in your friends.

And major for your grandfather and your family!

I understand how upset you must feel. You need the support of your FH now.

Is it possible that your FH might not be able to handle the anticipated emotions in a hospital setting? If he had ill family members, it can be very hard to take. I had two parents both ill at the same time for many months. My father had been in the hospital for 9 months and in that time, my mother, too was in the hospital for a month. I cannot go into a hospital without getting the shakes or feeling overwhelmed. Give him an opportunity to explain himself.

I'm so sorry about your grandfather..

People sometimes don't think before they speak. He probably just said it not realizing the enormity of what he was saying and how it would affect you.

It could be he thinks that you are such a strong person that you didn't really 'need' him per se. I know sometimes my FH thinks that things won't upset me the way they upset other people because I don't really express 'sadness'.

Forgive him... You don't need to be angry at a time like this.

for you, your grandfather, and your family.

I don't think that he meant to hurt you!
I am sorry that you are so upset.
Boys can be ignorant!

thanks

I'm soo sorry to hear about your grandfather. I think that FH is being selfish but I'm sure he will do the right thing. Just relax and my prayers will be with you and your family during this difficult time.

I hope all is well with your grandfather.
One thing about guys they don't think like we do, nor do they do the things we do.
You have every right to be upset wiht the FH, just worry about getting your grandfather through this.

sometimes men dont grasp the concept of how serious a situation is...
and what he is doing is SELFISH....you need him more than his family

i hope everything works out for you


and that the surgery goes well

I am sorry to hear about your grandfather. Best wishes for a good recovery.

One thing you have to understand about guys is that they think differently than we do, and they react differently in times of crisis. My own father is like this !
Your FH may not see the need to be there with you - I am assuming that other of your family members will be there.
Just explain to him that you would like his support. But honestly, all everyone is going to do is sit around waiting and worrying until the surgery is over. There is nothing that anyone can do. I've sat thru many surgeries for both of my parents so I know the deal. My FH was there for me when I really needed him, the night my mother died.

Your FH is not being selfish - he just doesn't understand your needs right now. Talk with him.
Let him go to the beach with his family and accept his offer to come in the afternoon.

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Posted by Tori9299

I hope all is well with your grandfather.
One thing about guys they don't think like we do, nor do they do the things we do.
You have every right to be upset wiht the FH, just worry about getting your grandfather through this.

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big time ditto. after this blows over you need to sit him down and explain to him that this is NOT how you react to me when i ask you to be there for me. You just be there next to me. Period.

I'm sorry your grandfather is so ill. Best wishes for everything to go well tomorrow.

You're not being demanding. He may have said the thing about his niece and nephew because what you said hadn't sunk in yet. Sometimes I can be a little slow on the uptake myself. It could just be that, not that he really didn't want to be there for you. OTOH, this is something you need to think about. It might not mean anything in the greater context of your relationship that he can sometimes be thoughtless, as long as you realize it and try to not let it bother you, that you think of it as 'well, that's the way FH is, but his heart is in the right place.' But, does he do this sort of thing a lot? Are you the one who is always giving while he takes? Because that's not an equal, mature relationship.

Don't waste your energy being angry at your DF, you have more important things to think about, but on the other hand, don't forget about it either, because if this sort of thing keeps coming up, it might be a serious issue in your marriage. And it' s better to work this stuff out before you get married. It's what being engaged is all about.

Again, good luck to your grandfather.