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BM Aggrevation! advice?

KK Holiday Posted:

BM Aggrevation! advice?

I dont know how to deal with this without totally sounding like a bridezilla.

futuremrsfab Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

Sorry I have no words- I cant believe she asked you to give her the money you would spend on her gift- so inappropriate

for you & that she comes to her senses!
Browneyesncute Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

you are not being a bridezilla!!! I think those things are unappropriate to say! sometimes it can be hard to be in someones wedding but if you love that person you keep it to yourself and put you best face foward!

i'm sorry you have to go through this!

wow she made me mad!!!
bluekat16 Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

That's soo inappopriate of her asking for the $$ and then making a distateful comment like that!!


Even if she feel that way about love she can keep it to herself..espcially since she know you're getting married...as for the other stuff being a BM is an obligation and she should've considered her financial situation sooner.

I'm sorry you're going through this

Maybe jus tstay away from her until the RD and wedding...deal with her on an as need basis only.
TrueLoveIn2008 Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

Oh Kathryn

Sounds like you need the wine tonight hon.

She is being COMPLETELY inconsiderate. It sounds like she is actually very immature. I had a college roommate who would say the most inappropriate things - reminded me of her. I was IN HER WEDDING in Delaware, went to PA for her shower (and it wasn't a large one), bought her a gift, stayed at a hotel the night of the wedding, went there to pick out dresses, etc - and she called me up about 5 months after the wedding to say she RAN OUT OF THANK YOU CARDS and 'is it ok if I just thank you now, on the phone?'

To ask for money instead of a gift is unbelieveable. She should have THOUGHT of these things when she agreed to be your BM. And to tell YOU, the BRIDE, that your wedding is going to SUUUCK for HER because she broke up with her bf????????



I can't even begin to tell you how rude I think that is. Did you even respond? I have a feeling that no matter what you say to her, she won't get it.

I'm soooo sorry you are dealing with this crap a week before your wedding.

Kittyg19 Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

Wow that is a tough spot you are in. She sounds like she is in a really bad place for obvious reason with her relationship breaking up. However she needs to grow up.

I would try not to deal with her and focus on your other bridesmaids that are very excited for you.

She is being completely lame and I can't believe what she said about the dress and asking for money. So tacky.

I have to look at your wedding date but depending on how close it is not sure if you want to deal with the whole drama of asking her to step down.

You could throw it in her court and say ' you seem very unhappy and I know you are sad about the break up... So if its too much for you to be in the wedding please let me know I would understand. If that's how you feel that you would rather not have her negative energy around.

hang in there.

jcslady Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

OMG I am sooo sorry she is putting you through this!!! don't give her any $$ back!
dante31300 Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

Wow I am sorry you are going through this. I have no advice but just wanted to offer some

Hope it works out.
emomma17 Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

I don't think you sound like bridezilla at all. You were right to say that she accepted being a bridesmaid on her own accord and giving her money just isn't right.

This is a HUGE event in your life and although we can't expect everyone to feel the same way, obviously, out of respect and common courtesy to you, your friend should remember that this is a very special time in your life and be more discrete about her personal feelings right now. This is just my opinion. Back in the day when 3 of my gfriends got married I was single and I was in all their weddings, i was sad because I didn't have anyone but I NEVER made the bride feel bad about it or said anything for that matter, and by the time the wedding rolled around I was having such a great time celebrating with all of them it never crossed my mind!

sorry you're going through this...
KK Holiday Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

thank you girls.

I am ignoring everyone who puts me in a bad mood these last 9 days ( ). I guess I can add her to the list.

KK Holiday Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?


Posted by emomma17

I don't think you sound like bridezilla at all. You were right to say that she accepted being a bridesmaid on her own accord and giving her money just isn't right.

This is a HUGE event in your life and although we can't expect everyone to feel the same way, obviously, out of respect and common courtesy to you, your friend should remember that this is a very special time in your life and be more discrete about her personal feelings right now. This is just my opinion. Back in the day when 3 of my gfriends got married I was single and I was in all their weddings, i was sad because I didn't have anyone but I NEVER made the bride feel bad about it or said anything for that matter, and by the time the wedding rolled around I was having such a great time celebrating with all of them it never crossed my mind!

sorry you're going through this...



exactly!!!!!!!!!
emomma17 Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?


Posted by KK Holiday


Posted by emomma17

I don't think you sound like bridezilla at all. You were right to say that she accepted being a bridesmaid on her own accord and giving her money just isn't right.

This is a HUGE event in your life and although we can't expect everyone to feel the same way, obviously, out of respect and common courtesy to you, your friend should remember that this is a very special time in your life and be more discrete about her personal feelings right now. This is just my opinion. Back in the day when 3 of my gfriends got married I was single and I was in all their weddings, i was sad because I didn't have anyone but I NEVER made the bride feel bad about it or said anything for that matter, and by the time the wedding rolled around I was having such a great time celebrating with all of them it never crossed my mind!

sorry you're going through this...



exactly!!!!!!!!! its ok for her to feel this way but why would she vent to me like this?

lol and there is no way i'm writing her a paycheck for being in my wedding!



Yeah she obviously didn't think it through to well when she vented her feelings, even if she wanted to say that she shouldn't have said it to you, as if you don't have 156,309,093 things to think about right now on top of hearing that! brush it off and enjoy your week your going to be a wife in 9 days!!!
MikeandJess Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

She's purposely being hurtful because she is miserable. Sometimes this makes people feel better. Don't be afraid to let her know that you know what she is doing and that you don't appreciate this lack of support and hateration from someone you considered close enough to be your BM!

NapaValleyGirl Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

O
M
G

What an inconsiderate, selfish BRAT.

She does not deserve to have the honor of standing up there being one of your bridesmaids!!!!!

snowcutie82 Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

boo to her. that's not cool!!!

i would say if ure close and open...tell her but who knows if that will cause unneeded issues and drama right before your day. to avoid that personally....i would probably just ignore it or if she brings it up just change the topic to something unrelated.
Espo22 Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

very rude and crossed the line

yes people have money issues and it can be hard. I was talking about this recently with my MOH, this month i have 3 weddings to attend, 1 the first week of october, plus we attended weddings this summer, ive had bridal showers, baby shower, bachelorette party. My MOH has it waaaaaaaay worse though and seriously has had only 2 free weekends since may without an event going on, plus she wasnt just my MOH but another close friend of ours MOH. We didnt complain about it, you just s*ck it up and deal with it.

The whole giving her the money thing was such a tacky thing to say, who does that? just seems very selfish to me, and i dont care if someone did just have a breakup but im sorry you dont tell a good friend 'your wedding is going to s*ck for me' even if i were asked or someone said something about me being alone now and attending a weddng, i'd say that its no problem at all and not to even worry.

This might sound mean, but maybe she needs to think why she is heartbroken now and he left her, maybe it is bc of her selfish ways.
Butterfly123 Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

WOW! What a class act. OMG I think I would have told her to keep her money and not be a BM. That is sooooooooo rude. I would not want someone like that in my wedding party.

lizzie217 Posted:

Re: BM Aggrevation! advice?

I'm sorry hun! You do not sound like a bridezilla...you sound hurt...she should be happy for you..it sounds like youve done everything in your power to make her happy .... she is probaly caught up in her own troubles and dosent realize it ... but its still not nice

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