So a friend of mine asked me to be in her bridal party- which was a COMPLETE surprise- we are friendly but not best friends.. and shes having 10 people in her bridal party. I'm trying to keep my bridal party small.. which still ends up being 6 people- and I never intended to ask her.
So I feel I owe it to her to tell her she's not in mine.
Also if you have suggestions on the best wording to break this news I'd appreciate it!!!!
TIA
AngnShaun
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Re: BM decision help needed!
Is she assuming that she is in yours?
Maria5117
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IMO....Definitely call.... thats not something i'd want to read in an email!
asg450
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Posted by AngnShaun
Is she assuming that she is in yours?
Yeah, I don't think you need to tell her anything about your bp if you have never spoken to her about it before.
Ncarlo
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I don't know- I mean she shouldn't because I have two other girls at least that I would ask before I would ask her... also since she asked me and then I got engaged after that- if she was automatically going to be in hers- right away I would have said something- it's been 7months since I've been engaged- and haven't said a thing.
AngnShaun
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Posted by Ncarlo
I don't know- I mean she shouldn't because I have two other girls at least that I would ask before I would ask her... also since she asked me and then I got engaged after that- if she was automatically going to be in hers- right away I would have said something- it's been 7months since I've been engaged- and haven't said a thing.
i wouldnt bother bringing it up at all if she hasnt
brittndave
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I wouldn't address it unless it comes up -- if someone just called me and said 'oh btw you're not going to be in my bridal party even though i'm in yours' (no matter how nicely you put it, it's still going to sound like that to some extent) i would be pretty offended. esp. since most brides know that even tho someone is in your bridal party doesn't mean you are going to be in theirs, vice versa...
Ncarlo
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so dont even tell her?
AngnShaun
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Posted by brittndave
I wouldn't address it unless it comes up -- if someone just called me and said 'oh btw you're not going to be in my bridal party even though i'm in yours' (no matter how nicely you put it, it's still going to sound like that to some extent) i would be pretty offended. esp. since most brides know that even tho someone is in your bridal party doesn't mean you are going to be in theirs, vice versa...
ITA... i was going to say that if someone did that to me i would def be annoyed about it...
AngnShaun
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Posted by Ncarlo
so dont even tell her?
Don't say anything unless she brings it up first... if youve gone 7 months with out her bringing it up, i think youre safe!
brittndave
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yea, just don't even tell her ... she shouldn't be expecting it
Alyssa79
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i don't know. i've read so many stories on here that people assume they are in the party and the brides themselves haven't officially asked people to be in the party b/c 'they know they already are.'
i would never play that game so i would just call to say what's up and just see where the convo goes without saying anything
christine2010
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i was in a similar sticky situation. one of my friends from high school text me asking if she is in the bridal party. i completely freaked out because i didn't know how she was going to take the news. so i got the confidence up to call her & just explain that i am only including family. (which is 100% true) surprisingly she was very understanding.
Iluvpoodles
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Don't say anything unless she mentions something to you about it.
Ncarlo
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yeah I feel like semi guilty until I tell her- but is it too wimpy to do over email? haha
Ncarlo
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Posted by Ncarlo
yeah I feel like semi guilty until I tell her- but is it too wimpy to do over email? haha
I just hate confrontation!! lol it seems like most of you think calling up is the way to go.
AngnShaun
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i feel weird telling you to even mention it ... i feel like that will cause confrontation also...
elisa112101
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personally, i would avoid it altogether.... she hasnt mentioned it to you, i wouldnt bring it up... JMO
KatieG2010
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don't do anything- when the time comes she will figure it out. If you decide that you do want to say something, I would definately not do it via email- call her or tell her in person. Either that or tell her you prefer not to be one of her BM b/c you were not planning having her in your BP and you did not want her to be hurt. IDK JMO
Ncarlo
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ahh this is soo tough.. thank you for all your help -yeah i dont want to sound like.. yo thanks for letting me be in yours btw your not in mine..
