BM dilemma... HELP (sorry kinda long)

Sooo.... I am ordering the Bm dresses this Friday. I had emailed all my girls back in October when I found the dresses that January 15th was the day.

That same day, before I wrote the email, I wrote a FB message to one BM asking her if she still had interest in being in the wedding. Long story short we hadn't spoken since July. So it wasn't a strange thing for me to be asking. She lives in FL now and went through a nasty divorce last year. yadda, yadda...

So I get a little bit of a nasty letter back and she basically said 'I'll take this as a hint you and FH have a great day'. I wrote her back basically saying she took my original letter all wrong and I HELLO we havn't talked in 5 months what am I suppossed to think. I know she had a lot of other things going on. Again, she wrote back apologizing for the rude message. She said she always intended to be in it, and all this nice stuff. Great... I write back tell her about the dress and how I am about to email everyone and this is why I needed to contact her now. She said no problem I will go within a week.

Yea, well that never happend. I didn't stress bc there were still 3 months. As you can probably guess we are now 3 days away and she still hasn't gone, AND!! I havn't talked to her since... so honestly I havn't talked to voice to voice with her since JULY!!!!!!

I sent another email to all the girls who hadn't gone yet last week. Just a friendly reminder email. All but 2 have gone now. One I am not concerned with but this other BM, I don't know what to do. I don't want to BEG someone to be in my wedding but I also don't feel right ignoring it and just going ahead without her. I know she read the email bc I can check (we both have AOL).

WWYD?

i wouldnt call her because its her place to make the effort on this one, you did your part. write one last email saying, january 15th is the last day, i would love for you to be in it of course. if for whatever reason you cant though and dont by the 15th, youll understand. say, i would hope you can still make it to the wedding. if you do go to get measured, great. youll call the bridal salon on the 15th to confirm all the measurements in case you dont hear back from her. (tell her this, last line. so she knows that youll know)

short and sweet but letting her know that she needs to go or shes not in it.

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Posted by GiannisWifey

I would probably CALL her. This email and text back and forth can get confusing, and this gives you guys a chance to talk and catch up, being that you haven't spoken since July anyway. If she doesn't pick up, just leave a 'hey how is everything, etc' voice mail along with the fact if the dresses aren't ordered by Jan ____ , she wont be able to order it or be in the party since she wont have the dress in time! Maybe also stress how you are looking forward to having her in the wedding and how much it means to you!

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Whoops... I left out how I am not sure I even want her in it now. It seems like too much time has past and it will be awkward now. I should also add, I am not the only friend she has disappeared on she has done it to from what I hear. Just about everyone. So the awkwardness of having her here and at my house with everyone getting ready is going to be very strange

I'm with Lorin on this one. It's her responsibility. If she doesn't do it by the 15th, she's out. No questions.

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Posted by Lsorrent

I'm with Lorin on this one. It's her responsibility. If she doesn't do it by the 15th, she's out. No questions.

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So not even one last text, like on Thursday. I am afraid this is going to come back at me some way.

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Posted by soontobecruz

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Posted by Lsorrent

I'm with Lorin on this one. It's her responsibility. If she doesn't do it by the 15th, she's out. No questions.

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So not even one last text, like on Thursday. I am afraid this is going to come back at me some way.

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Maybe one last message - just remember the last day to order is the 15th! - or something like that. But nothing long and drawn out.

It sounds like she may have alot going on in her life right now.

Is she going to cause stress/anxiety on your wedding day? In that case, you may not want to have her in you BP at all if she has already caused so much problems just to get her dress.

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Posted by bigsal

It sounds like she may have alot going on in her life right now.

Is she going to cause stress/anxiety on your wedding day? In that case, you may not want to have her in you BP at all if she has already caused so much problems just to get her dress.

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'Is she going to cause stress/anxiety on your wedding day? '

I think this is my biggest fear with her.

honestly i wouldn't remind her or do anything! you told her months ago that they had to be ordered by jan 15th and she said she would do it that week. if she hasn't done it by now then i would take that as a hint that she's not that interested or motivated! if she's causing you stress now, she's going to cause it later and it's not worth it!

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Posted by Lsorrent

I'm with Lorin on this one. It's her responsibility. If she doesn't do it by the 15th, she's out. No questions.

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ITA 100%. She knows what she has to do. If she doesn't do it, just leave her out.

I would call her and see what's up. She has had plenty of time, so give her a call and let her know you understand she is busy and you guys haven't spoken lately, but you need to know if she's in. And let her know that if she IS IN, she needs to get the DRESS ASAP!!!!!

Good luck. I would definitely call- no more emails.

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Posted by Lsorrent

I'm with Lorin on this one. It's her responsibility. If she doesn't do it by the 15th, she's out. No questions.

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ITA!!!!! let her go! i am having the same crap with my BM and ifi dont hear from them they can kiss it!!!