BM drama (sorry its long)

Back in June i had plans to go with all my BMs for their dresses. 4 out of the 5 showed up and were measured and left deposits, the 5th (my cousin and exroomate) never showed. 2 days later she called and said she forgot and that she didnt get my message that morning since her roomate had her phone and blah blah.. Even though i spoke to her in person 2 days before and she said she would be there. I said ok fine lets go on your next free evening and we made a new date... Well she didnt show or call for that day either.. She had another excuse about her not having a car. I told her she should have at least called and she apologized and we set another date. The next time comes and again no call no show.. I was pissed and left a lengthy email (since she wasnt answering her phone) about how if she doesnt want to be a BM that it was fine if she stepped down, that i wouldnt be upset, i just needed to know the truth so i could submit the rest of the dress order. She emails me back about how shes going through a rough patch but she really wants to be a part of my day and she has the money for the dress and she will go on her own to get the dress. 2 weeks pass and i call to check in to see if she went and she hadnt. I tell her i am coming to get her and were going to get the dress and she agrees. We get to the shop and its closed (oh boy was i pissed off, but my own fault for not checking the hours). So we say ok tomorrow we will go again.. I wait again for hours and no call no show.. I email her again and tell her she has until July 26th and that if she doesnt go ill submit the order without her. On July 17th she texts me that she went on the 16th and to call the shop to confirm that the orders have been completed. I forget to call and on Sunday (yesterday) i went with my mom for a MOB dress and told the shop to complete the BM order. They take out the folder and on the front lead sheet with everyones sizes i notice there is no size next to her name like everyone else. I ask if she came and they looked through the file to see if her receipt was there. It wasnt. Then i asked them to see if there is another bride with my name incase it got filed wrong, but im the only bride with my name.. So I call my her to see what happened and of course.. no answer... I left her a pissed off message and I tell the shop forget her and to submit the order. She texts me an hour later saying she was at a christening and shed call me back after the got out of church... well she still hasnt called me..

I am so freakin hurt. Like seriously who does that. If you couldnt do it just say sorry i cant. Why lie to me.. Im obviously going to find out. I figure if she didnt lie she will have her receipt from the shop... She got married in 06 so she knows what planning a wedding is like. Sorry this is long i just needed to vent.

The fact that she is a former bride she should know that things have to be done in a timely manner. I think you have been more than accomodating and adjusting to when SHE could go.. and having her FLAKE 3 times is irresponsible and rude.

She maybe going through a rough patch, however be woman enough to either explain, step down, or just not be so shady

Wow, I can't believe she lied! That's crazy. I don't even know what to say or what advice to give you, but I don't blame you for being upset/angry!

I am so sorry you are going through all this! I know what it is like to have a bridesmaid not cooperate with the bride and make all excuses for themselves! I would drop her. This is not worth the stress and aggravation. You gave her so many chances to go in there and everytime she had an excuse why she couldn't! Sounds like BS to me!!! Of course she tells you she really wants to be in your wedding...she doesn't want to tell you the honest truth! I would tell her you need to drop her that this is going on long enough..and afterall this is family! And Family should NEVER be doing this to you! Plus you said she got married in 2006 so she should know what you are going through!!!! I would be aggravated and pissed too!!!! That would be the final straw and I would drop her with no explanation at all. She is not being fair to you and should not be stressing you out this much! It is not worth it!!! I am so angry for you. I know what you are going through! I have been there..I had cut my best friend from my wedding about a month ago..she is now my ex-friend! But she had it coming! I was not putting up with anymore of her BS! SHe made so many excuses that I didn't have it in me to do it anymore and she was stressing me out and making me miserable and the tensions were high on all the BM's!!!! I would just let her out of your wedding..it's no worth the stress at all!!!!

Be a woman and tell you the truth, I really don't understand that.

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Posted by KiTTeN0819

I already am considering her out of the wedding. I dont even want to hear what her explanation could be. I just left her a message saying if she really went to fax the bridal shop her receipt cause they lost it, but if she lied about it dont bother even calling me at this point cause im too hurt to talk to her. I dont even want her at the wedding now.

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That is a way to catch her in a lie...She probably will still make up some excuse why she can't find the recepit. I would just get rid of her...it's obvious she doesn't want to taker part in your day and won't admitt it!!!! She is not worth the hassle!!

I'm surprised you're still even considering it...you should just spare yourself further aggravation and tell her she doesn't have to worry about it any longer. I can understand you being patient if she is going through something. I thought maybe you were talking about a young girl, but I'm sorry she sounds very immature that she can't get herself together, and to add insult to injury, she's lying to you...and she's married herself so she knows the routine. It really sounds like she doesn't want to deal with it, but when you gave her an out she didn't take it...I don't understand that. Her actions speak volumes to me. I give you a lot of credit for tolerating it this long. Good luck to you!

I'm so sorry you are going through this. You have been MORE than fair. I can't believe a relative would do this to you. Then again, when you are planning a wedding you really see people's true colors, and see who your true 'friends' are. I would let her go of her duties, and just be done with her BS. After all she has to be an ex-roomate for a reason....right?

So sorry you are going through all of this. I had a lot of issues with my cousins. Almost the same deal about dresses. I asked them to come in and they never returned messages. I had it set up with one of them where she was coming in one day and she never did. I eventually kicked them out and I havent spoken to them since (well we werent really on speaking terms anyway for 4 months prior to that either)

The way I see it, its your day and people who you asked to be your bridesmaids should be happy for you. THey should want to be there for you and do anything to make it less stressfull for you... not MORE stressful. You dont need that.

If you want to talk, feel free to FM me since I kinda know what you are going though

Sorry you have to deal with her lies. You are obviously a patient woman. Just enjoy your day with all of your other girls !!

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Posted by wundmoretime

ONe of my BMs did that to me. It came down to the fact that she didn't have the money. I told her I would meet her there and put the dress on my charge card. She did. As it turns out, they had a dress in her size and the color, so no need to order...do you know she was upset about that... atleast she has the dress although her fitting isn't until last min and now she says she may go to a different person and I have yet to see a cent from her. Perhaps it is the money?

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I thought it was the money at first too, but i offered to pay for the dress and she told me no way and that she had the money set aside for it. She kept asking me if my sis (the MOH) had starting planning the shower or the bachellorette party yet and i kept telling her i didnt know but i didnt want anything expensive and she was all excited to call my sister and to plan it with her. The thing that really irritates me the more that i think about it is that her friends wedding is also in November and i bet shes not going to miss out being a BM in hers.