Hi ladies! Need some advice-one of my bm's is not happy with the dress i chose for them, she thinks she will look bad in the dress because she is bigger than the other girls. The dress is lazaro 3142 (feel free to look up)-she is not even big!! We are all a size 4-6 and she is probably a 12/14.
She text me that she doesn't think she will look good in the dress and may have to step out. The sample size that my sister and I tried on in the store I bought it at was a 6, so I found another store that has a sample size 12, I told her we can go there and try it on. I do not think it will look bad at all!! All of my other choices were the same style-all mermaid or trumphet-which is 100% my style! So, any way we go I feel she wouldn't be happy.
She does dress different than me, in that she is very conservative and dresses older than her age, where I love fashion, big jewelry-mermaid cut dresses, etc. My hips are also pretty big, and this dress actually hid them well!! But, she doesn't seem to believe me! Ughhh any advice you girls can give would be great-do I let her step out? Do I try to compromise? I mean maybe she'll try on the dress in the other store and love it-but maybe not!! I don't think it's fair to get a different dress for her.
Pinkisles
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BM Dress Drama
See what happens when she tries the dress on in her size. I was the biggest bridesmaid in every wedding i've been in (I'm a size 18/20) but I ****** it up because it was not my day, it was for my cousin and my best friend. All eyes will be on the bride anyways.
If she is really that uncomfortable that she can't wear the dress for a few hours, let her step down. It's not worth the drama.
Pinkisles
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The dress is absolutely beautiful btw...what color are you getting?
JeannineS79
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Thank you!! I just feel horrible, like it's my fault :( But, this dress is so me!! It's actually in that color-purple!
sandr325
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Re: BM Dress Drama
Posted by Pinkisles
See what happens when she tries the dress on in her size. I was the biggest bridesmaid in every wedding i've been in (I'm a size 18/20) but I ****** it up because it was not my day, it was for my cousin and my best friend. All eyes will be on the bride anyways.
If she is really that uncomfortable that she can't wear the dress for a few hours, let her step down. It's not worth the drama.
I agree. My husband's niece is a tomboy and she wore a hot pink long dress all day and did not complain once. It's about being party of a couple's special day, not about you.
Pinkisles
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Re: BM Dress Drama
Posted by JeannineS79
Thank you!! I just feel horrible, like it's my fault :( But, this dress is so me!! It's actually in that color-purple!
Don't feel bad, you chose what you wanted. It's your wedding!
And that color is beautiful. Everything will work out, and everyone will look great, don't worry.
Soon2BeMrsMango
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The dress is beautiful. I can see where she may feel uncomfortable. I wouldn't wear a mermaid wedding dress because I thought they made me look heavy & I am a street size 2/4. If you are not willing to change the dress then I would just let her step down. I would rather my girls feel comfortable then be miserable the whole day.
ladygoodman
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If she doesn't care about you enough to suck it up and deal with it thrn let her step down. I've worn dresses that I've looked horrible in . When my uncle got married my 300lb aunt wore a salmon colored body hugging dress because it wasn't about how she felt it was about her sister in law.
tianamarie
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I could see why she would feel a little uncomfortable... I'm curvy around the butt area and refused to wear a mermaid wedding dress because I thought I looked heavier.
I'm a people pleaser so if it were me I'd probably ask her what she would feel more comfortable in and take it in to consideration, or maybe find another dress that flattered all body types.
cets1290
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the dress is pretty, but I would be skeptical about wearing it too- I am a size 6, but that dress just looks like it would not be flattering at all- I would definitely try it on if the bride wanted me to, but I could totally understand why she wouldn't want to wear that dress. Satin isn't forgiving usually, and that style looks like it is mean for someone who is 5 ft. 9 and 100 lbs lol
JeannineS79
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It's really not, I tried it on I'm 5'4 and like 130 and my hips are pretty big lol probably same as Kim K and it looked good on me, really hid my hips well and was flattering. I just can't imagine getting another dress, this dress is so me and all of the other girls loved it from the beginning, I've been pinning it since the day we got engaged. I haven't loved every dress I have worn in a wedding and never had a choice, but never would drop out. I am a people pleaser too, but I feel like this is the one day I have to make my own decisions (besides at work boring lol) and show off my style. I could never get a flowy BM dress it just wouldn't be me.
FutureMrsM0824
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Re: BM Dress Drama
I think that the dress is beautiful and I am agreeing that she should just suck it up and wear it because it's your wedding and not hers.
However, these girls are your friends and family. I wear a 10 but have previously been a size 12. I can tell you that I wouldn't want to wear that dress next to someone who wore a 4/6. She will feel big and be uncomfortable and that will show in your pictures. It's up to you but I see it from both sides.
Sorry you have to deal with this! Good luck and let us know what happens!
Lisa and Steven
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The dress is beautiful but like the other girls have said, it's definitely not a dress I would want to wear. I feel like a lot of people think they look good in a mermaid but really shouldn't wear it. However, it is your wedding and you get the final say. If she is really uncomfortable wearing the dress you should let her step down instead of making her feel uncomfortable the whole day.
cets1290
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Re: BM Dress Drama
Posted by JeannineS79
It's really not, I tried it on I'm 5'4 and like 130 and my hips are pretty big lol probably same as Kim K and it looked good on me, really hid my hips well and was flattering. I just can't imagine getting another dress, this dress is so me and all of the other girls loved it from the beginning, I've been pinning it since the day we got engaged. I haven't loved every dress I have worn in a wedding and never had a choice, but never would drop out. I am a people pleaser too, but I feel like this is the one day I have to make my own decisions (besides at work boring lol) and show off my style. I could never get a flowy BM dress it just wouldn't be me.
you are absolutely right and i agree with you 100%. if i was that girl, i wouldn't want to wear it, but i would because it's not my day and the bride wants it- unfortunately, many just don't get that. so you just have to decide if you want to stick to your guns and say it's your day, or sacrifice what you want to please everyone. if you think it'll ruin your relationship by sticking to your dress decision, then change it. However, if a girl in my bridal party was willing to step down due to a dress issue, the relationship would be totally different no matter what decision is made because it just shows that this person is not willing to stand by your side as your bridesmaid while you marry your best friend, and is more concerned about the dress than the big picture
StephanieXO
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Although I agree that there are mermaid dresses that are flattering for all sizes usually they have rouching or a belt or other detail to kind of cut the dress and make it more flattering on all body types. This dress is stunning but does not look like it would be very forgiving in the stomach area because it just lays flat. :(
MissToMrs
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i agree with the other girls. Sometimes i think people are intimidated by a mermaid dress. Again though, it is your day and if they want to be a part of your day, they will wear what you want them to. with that being said, i would tell your bridesmaid that you'll go try the larger sample size on with her so she can see for herself, but that she shouldnt step down without trying it on, nor should she step down because of a dress that is not even for HER wedding. also remind her that when her wedding day is here that you would gladly wear anything for her. if she still won't budge and steps down, then she is kind of making it known that the way she perceives herself to look is more important than your one and only wedding. maybe talk to alterations with her to see if they can put in like a corset or boning to give the dress more structure for her?
jassy119
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It's a beautiful dress, but it def does not look like it is a dress for ALL sizes and body types. A size 4/6 is a big difference btwn a 12/14. Plus satin is not a forgiving material. When I went shopping with my girls I told them the color, fabric and length that I wanted but let them choose the styles they were comfortable in. It is my day but they are paying for the dresses and have to wear them all day so I want them to be comfortable. I can totally understand it being your day and this is the vision you have but if you are unwilling to possibly let her pick her own style in the same fabric/color or if after she tries on the dress and is still not happy I would let her step down and you shouldn't be upset about it. How would you feel if the tables were turned and you had to buy and wear a dress all day that made you feel ugly/fat/uncomfortable?
cconaty94
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Re: BM Dress Drama
Posted by jassy119
It's a beautiful dress, but it def does not look like it is a dress for ALL sizes and body types. A size 4/6 is a big difference btwn a 12/14. Plus satin is not a forgiving material. When I went shopping with my girls I told them the color, fabric and length that I wanted but let them choose the styles they were comfortable in. It is my day but they are paying for the dresses and have to wear them all day so I want them to be comfortable. I can totally understand it being your day and this is the vision you have but if you are unwilling to possibly let her pick her own style in the same fabric/color or if after she tries on the dress and is still not happy I would let her step down and you shouldn't be upset about it. How would you feel if the tables were turned and you had to buy and wear a dress all day that made you feel ugly/fat/uncomfortable?
This!! I love the dress, but I have been to that place where I felt so terrible about myself that I offered to step down from things that made me so happy (dance recitals come to mind). I am doing the same thing as the above bride. My 4 bridesmaids are beautiful and entirely different bodies. Two of them are string beans, one is very heavy chested, and my sister will be 6 months out from having a baby (and breast feeding). I want them all to look and feel amazing, because I think that is what will really come out in the pics.
But, as a fellow bride, I totally understand the power of 'the vision'. Just ask yourself what would mess up the vision the most- different dresses or your friend missing?
sgf2
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I agree with the other girls that the dress may not be flattering on everyone, regardless of how it may have looked on you when you tried it on. I can tell that you are sympathetic toward her, or you wouldn't have asked for advice on the boards.
As much as I understand that it is your day and your vision, you should try to think of it from her perspective. It must have been a very hard decision to come to you and offer to step down as a bridesmaid. I'm sure she was very excited and honored to be asked, and still wants you to have your vision, which is why she didn't try to come up with alternatives, because she wanted you to have what you want.
I am about her size, and all of my friends are smaller than me. It is extremely tough to stand next to all of them for photos in my own clothes. I can't imagine having to stand next to them in the same dress, considering people would automatically compare whether they were trying to or not. I know this may seem callous, but sometimes thin girls don't understand how it feels to be bigger than everyone else.
I'm sorry you're going through this, and I'm sorry that your bridesmaid may have made you feel bad. My opinion is that either you should let her step down and maybe participate in the wedding in some other way, or do your best to help her to feel more comfortable.
Karin
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I have one BM who is one of the happiest people I know, always laughing and excited about life. She has a wonderful husband, a great career, and has more fun than anyone I know. However, I can tell she is not excited about the wedding because she thinks she is going to stand out due to being a larger size. I have a very forgiving and flattering dress, but it still bothers her, I can tell. She hoped to lose weight, but it just didn't happen. She would never believe that no one will care in the least because her personality makes everyone see beyond all that. All I can do is reassure her and I know she will look lovely. I'm not sure your BM would feel good about it regardless of the dress. So I would hate for you to change your dress and tht would still not solve the problem of how she feels about herself. I would have a serious heart to heart with her about it and then decide if changing the dress would even solve the problem together. It may turn out that she would enjoy your wedding more by stepping down regardless or maybe you can help her see that she will look great once the dress is altered properly.
