BM dresses . . . $$$

So, last night I went to the wedding library after work because they carry Amsale bm gowns. While I was there, I found the Thread line of bm gowns that I really looooooved. So, my consultant told me the gowns are $310 . . . but they could give me a 10% discount, which is probably standard, and brings the price down to $279, still a lot. What if I offered to chip in $50 for each of the girls dresses (I have 6 girls) and this would be part of the bm gifts - what do you think?

I was in a wedding two years ago and the bride gave us DOJ as the gift and $50 Lord & Taylor gift cards - it was wonderful and generous, but we could have used the $50 to pay for some of the wedding expenses. Does this sound like a good idea?

I know its a lot, but I have also shelled out and will continue to shell out for my bms - they are my BFFs and sisters . . . TIA

IMHO, I would rather a giftcard at the end or something like that then having you put money towards the dress I will only probably wear once. I'd rather the BM gift benefit the BM. Sorry if that came out mean or weird, I can't explain

I think $310 is a lot.

Why not ask the BMs what they think first?

I've been thinking about the same thing cuz the Love by Enzoani dresses i like are also almost $300.

This isn't even w/alterations which makes the price jump even more!

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

I think $310 is a lot.

Why not ask the BMs what they think first?

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ITA - I know one of my BM was not happy about a $200 dress

Now don't jump down my throat girls but my bm's paid $280 for their dresses and I absolutely love them. I asked all of them if it was ok and no one seem to have an issue. I wasn't going to settle on something I wasn't crazy about and I love this dress.

Of course I am giving them all really nice gifts (kate spade bags) but I am trying to save enough money to pay for their hair and/or makeup bc then at least thats one less thing they have to pay for. Maybe you can do something like that, because even if you found a dress for $200 but they still had to get their hair done, they would still be shelling out $280-$300ish.

ouch that is a lot for just a bm dress. i wanna stay under $200.
about the $50 towards the dress i feel like it's not really a gift, and they'd still be spending a lot.
talk to your bm s and see what amount they are comfortable with.

It is a lot - I could totally ask them how they feel but I know they will all say its fine - they would never say otherwise. I mean my MOH is my sister, another bm is FSIL, then my 4 bffs - I was in one wedding 2 years ago, another one this fall (we are staying out at the vineyards in a hotel for 2 nights) and then another is having a destination wedding next year in the bahamas, which we will be attending! I feel like we all go above and beyond for each other and that the $50 isn't a huge contribution, but at least it makes it more manageable . . . I do feel bad about it though.


Check out the party collection - they are tyler or gabrielle :

http://bridal.threaddesign.com/collections/pages/c72.php

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Posted by stinenandy2010

Now don't jump down my throat girls but my bm's paid $280 for their dresses and I absolutely love them. I asked all of them if it was ok and no one seem to have an issue. I wasn't going to settle on something I wasn't crazy about and I love this dress.

Of course I am giving them all really nice gifts (kate spade bags) but I am trying to save enough money to pay for their hair and/or makeup bc then at least thats one less thing they have to pay for. Maybe you can do something like that, because even if you found a dress for $200 but they still had to get their hair done, they would still be shelling out $280-$300ish.

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I agree. I asked my girls if they minded spending about $270, and they said no. I am letting them wear their own shoes (as long as they're silver), and I am not making them get their hair or make up done (of course they CAN, I'm just not saying they have to, or that they have to go to my girl). I think it depends on them.

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Posted by stinenandy2010

Now don't jump down my throat girls but my bm's paid $280 for their dresses and I absolutely love them. I asked all of them if it was ok and no one seem to have an issue. I wasn't going to settle on something I wasn't crazy about and I love this dress.

Of course I am giving them all really nice gifts (kate spade bags) but I am trying to save enough money to pay for their hair and/or makeup bc then at least thats one less thing they have to pay for. Maybe you can do something like that, because even if you found a dress for $200 but they still had to get their hair done, they would still be shelling out $280-$300ish.

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This is a good idea - paying for the hair/make-up. . . I just don't know if it would work for us logistically. I don't know what to do!!

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Posted by CappyGirl

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Posted by stinenandy2010

Now don't jump down my throat girls but my bm's paid $280 for their dresses and I absolutely love them. I asked all of them if it was ok and no one seem to have an issue. I wasn't going to settle on something I wasn't crazy about and I love this dress.

Of course I am giving them all really nice gifts (kate spade bags) but I am trying to save enough money to pay for their hair and/or makeup bc then at least thats one less thing they have to pay for. Maybe you can do something like that, because even if you found a dress for $200 but they still had to get their hair done, they would still be shelling out $280-$300ish.

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This is a good idea - paying for the hair/make-up. . . I just don't know if it would work for us logistically. I don't know what to do!!

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honestly just get the dress you want, if someone gives you a hard time then offer to contribute. it sounds like you will be spending a fortune between that vineyard and destination wedding!

I would run it by them. If they are your true friends, they will tell you the truth if they feel they can't afford it. IMO, I do think that's a lot for a dress. I told my girls I didn't want them spending more than $250 and that's including tax and alterations. I told them that if any of them went over that number (after alterations) I'd pay the difference. They told me no, but I insisted.

I guess you could offer the $50, but I honestly wouldn't make that part of their gift. To me, that's actually for YOU because then you're getting the dresses you want. I would do it in addition to their gift.

Thanks - i think that was really my question - its not fair to make it their 'gift' because its really just a gift to myself for getting the dresses I want.

Thank you!!!

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Posted by emc282rjm

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Posted by stinenandy2010

Now don't jump down my throat girls but my bm's paid $280 for their dresses and I absolutely love them. I asked all of them if it was ok and no one seem to have an issue. I wasn't going to settle on something I wasn't crazy about and I love this dress.

Of course I am giving them all really nice gifts (kate spade bags) but I am trying to save enough money to pay for their hair and/or makeup bc then at least thats one less thing they have to pay for. Maybe you can do something like that, because even if you found a dress for $200 but they still had to get their hair done, they would still be shelling out $280-$300ish.

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I agree. I asked my girls if they minded spending about $270, and they said no. I am letting them wear their own shoes (as long as they're silver), and I am not making them get their hair or make up done (of course they CAN, I'm just not saying they have to, or that they have to go to my girl). I think it depends on them.

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I'm doing the same exact thing. Their dresses were $260 (without alterations yikesssssss) and none of them had a problem (to my face)... but also i have only 1 friend in the BP and the rest are family....

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Posted by RitasEngaged

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Posted by mrsdraskin2009

I think $310 is a lot.

Why not ask the BMs what they think first?

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ITA - I know one of my BM was not happy about a $200 dress

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I have to agree... iI know one of my BMs has voiced repeatedly that she doesn't want to pay over $200 for a dress and I don't blame her... I'm trying to find the best deal I can for them... most of what I like has been in the mid 2 range but luckily Burtons has kick @ss prices.

As for the $50 I would spend it on something else for them...