OMG what a day. I went to go to get bm dresses today it was supposed to be four girls and myself but it was only three. First we went to davids bridal really excited, to make a long story short my one Bm had a mug on her face the entire time. Supoosibly she has been complaning about having to spend money for the bridal shower and the dress, totally made my day horrible, couldn't find a dress on top of that because some of the girls have big hips and busts. I really want to ask her not to be in it. I was thinking of telling that I understand her money situation and if she dosen't want to be in it It will be fine with me.(she's getting a divorice and she lost her job) What do you think, sorry so long.
radiostar
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Re: BM Dresses need to vent
Some of my desires in life are, world peace, the end of hunger, and for some BMs to stop being pure crabs.
Being a bridesmaid is a tremendous honor. It doesn't seem as if your girlfriend realizes this.
I say, let her kick herself out. Explain to her that you would be honored to have her participate in the ceremony but it doesn't seem as if she's happy. Tell her that you would never want to put any additional stress on her - - -and that you would totally understand if wants to withdraw.
You don't need any crabby people adding any more stress in your life than you already have.
tishpoo
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Re: BM Dresses need to vent
I am so sorry to hear that, I have been in a few weddings already and there is always one in every group!! I would ask her nicely if It is going to be difficult for her to participate, that you completely understand, but it sounds like there could be some jealousy there also.
eroxgirl
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Re: BM Dresses need to vent
I think people are soooooo selfish and inconsiderate sometimes when it comes to weddings!! I have been a bridesmaid 4 times and I haven't always LOVED my gown or had tons of cash for the shower (who does?), but its your day and when you agree to be in a bridal party you agree to all the financial responsibility that comes along with it... if you can't do it, you should decline! Maybe just bringing up the situation nicely and ask if being a part of your wedding will be too much of a burden that you would understand if she couldn't do it, but I personally wouldn't ask her not to be in it anymore - I'd let her be the one to try and get out of it...then again, when people try and mess with me (and are in the wrong, like your BM is) I like to watch them squirm...
wacky
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Re: BM Dresses need to vent
Give her an out. If she says no tell her then to keep her comments to herself. I had a similar problem
Thusmuf
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Re: BM Dresses need to vent
Thanks for all your insight I reallt think I'm going to have a long talk with her. Up until this point I have been so happy planning this wedding I'm not going to let this get me down, it's really not the dress thing because she is a size 2 but it is the money thing, I think that your right she might be jealous, anyway our friendship has been on the fritz, I'm not going to let her ruin my wedding because she has made bad choices in her life, thank you all for letting me vent.
LaurenG
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Re: BM Dresses need to vent
We are probably going to just pick a color and all of my girls can pick out the style dress that looks best on them
WishCandy
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Re: BM Dresses need to vent
I would definitely talk to her and let her know that you understand if she feels she will be unable to go through with her bm duties (because of the $$$ situation) and let her know that you still want her to come and be a part of her day. At least, if she does step down, it will be one less thing you will have to deal with.
Stacey1403
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Re: BM Dresses need to vent
I agree give her an out. It is probably hard for her to be happy for you when she is going thru such a rough time Try to remember why you asked her in the first place she is your friend and it sounds like she may need you more than you may need her
MISHY
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Re: BM Dresses need to vent
I am sorry you have to deal with this stuff! It is very sad how not every person especially the girls in your wedding party can't be happy for you!
do you love her and want her to stand next to you?
I had a BM with money problems..and she did not like the way the dress looked on her...but I tried to make lemonade...I paid for some of her dress without telling her...not sure if she ever figured it out...my mom actually offered to pay for it and she said 'no' (thats when I paid a little myself)
I tried to look at it from her point...while its the happiest time of my life...I was not the center of her life...
take into consideration her divorce and how she may be feeling about you and your love...
I know BMs can be very frustrating...(good thing that brides have sites like these)...but remember that your wedding is not in their every thought...like it is for a bride
Rob-luvs-me
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Re: BM Dresses need to vent
I have a bm who first thing she said is so what color are you doing so I can go pick out a dress. I told her we were all doing the same dress and her response was 'No one does the same dress anymore - well since we are all different then we can't all wear the same dress' (all of them are average to small size) Then she tells me that if we do a bridal luncheon she will have to drive home to new rochelle to get her hair done (even though all my girls want to have hair and makeup done together) because she will ONLY use HER hair and makeup guy and no one else - so if I want her to stay then we have to use her guy. I told my other BM's and they threatened to make sure she smiles and does as she is asked....lol. This way I don't have to argue with her....
