BM DROP OUT HELP!

oK i AM SOOOOO VERY UPSET AND PISSED OFF. MY FUTURE MOM IN LAW CALLED ME UP TODAY TO TELL ME THAT MY SIS IN LAW TO BE IS DROPPING OUT. SHE HAS A BIRTHMARK ON HER ARM AND SHE WILL NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE IN SPAGETTI STRAPS.. MIND YOU SHE NVER SAW THE GOWN! I JUST HAD DESCRIBED IT TO HER.

I ALREADY BOUGHT THE BM GIFTS AND SPEND AROUND $75 ON EACH. NOW I AM NOT EVEN SURE IF I CAN GET MY MONEY BACK, BC SOME PARTS OF THE GIFTS WERE FROM EBAY.

i ASKED HER IN APRIL AND SHE WAITED 5 MONTHS TO TELL ME. I DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER GIRL WHOM I AM CLOSE TO THAT I CAN ADD IN. I HAVE TO ORDER THE BM DRESSES NEXT M ONTH BC THEY WILL BE DISCONTINUED.

I JUST AM SO UPSET AND NOT I DO NOT WANT TO EVEN SEE HER FACE. I MEAN SHE HAS NOT EVEN SEEN ME AND SHE COULD HAVE CALLED ME HERSELF.. SHE IS A 35 YR OLD WIMP! i AM SORRY THIS IS LONG I JUST NEED TO VENT. THIS IS SO UNFAIR. NOW THERE WILL BE TENSION IN THE FAMILY BC OF HER.

I LOOKED INTO AIRBRUSHING FOR HER AND STUFF TOO AND SHE JUST DECIDED SHE WILL DROP OUT.. WITHOUT TELLING ME WHY. MAYBE I COULD HAVE GOTTEN SLEEVES ON THE DRESS...

NOW I HAVE 6 GM AND 5 BM WHATS A GIRL TO DO WITH SOME OF THE GIFTS AND THIS ISSUE.......

She has some nerve!!!!!!

Is there anyway that you could return the gift or even sell it on E-Bay??
Don't worry about your BP being uneven...plenty of people have uneven BP.

People are crazy... she's worried about a birthmark? Everyone is going to be looking at YOU... not her!!!! That's very childish that she couldn't even tell you herself, if it were me i'd want to hear it from her... even if I had to go over there and knock on her door.

Edited for spelling.

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Posted by lablab

Well-maybe she is just really self-concious about it. What kind of birthmark are we talking about? Some can be very bad resulting in years of low self esteem, etc. She should have told you herself, however, so that you could discuss options. I would still be the bigger person and call her to let her know you are disappointed. See if it is really just about the dress. If it is, offer her a shawl or sleeves.

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I agree. It could be really tough mentally to have to wear something that make you feel self conscience. Maybe you should give her the option of wearing something that would make her feel more comfortable. What does your FH say? Would he be upset if she is not in the b-party? OR...Do you think maybe she is using this as an excuse to not be in it????

If it were me..and this is totally hypothetical..I would approach her and explain that...you don't want her to not share in your day because of a dress and if she wants you can look at other alternatives to make her comfortable..and you can also tell her that if she would rather not be in the bridal party, it is totally understood, not hard feelings...

Hope this helps.....

if she mentions the birthmark tell her that there are things you could do, airbrushing, a shawl.cap sleeves/sleeves. a wrap of some sort... but that you want her to be there!

dont worry about uneven numbers, like i mentioned somwhere else, no biggie!

if she doesnt want to be in it, then it is her loss, give her the gift for a holiday...

good luck!

my sister dropped out. and she was one of my MOHs

forget her! you didn't spend that much--losing $75 isn't terrible. use the stuff yourself if you can.

i have uneven numbers---VERY uneven. makes no difference

she needs to get over her self-- and not wory about a birthmark on her arm, no one will be looking at her any way

so sorry

sounds like a cheap cop out. who knows what the real reason is.
shes ridiculous though.

hey, it could be worse.

my best friend just dropped out of my wedding to be a nun....she wont see me get married or even be at my wedding. she goes in sept 3rd. she is also missing another persons wedding who she bought a bm dress for already.

im down to 7 bms and 9 gm.

no big deal though- the girls will be happy to have 2 guys on their arm, and i am not having the gm/bm dance after out first dance so it will be just fine.

Why can't she add a shawl or sleeves. My sister is self-concious about her arms and is adding sleeves. I want her in it so I will let her change the dress to however she feels comfortable.

I wonder if this is the real reason for the sis to drop out. Maybe your FI can call her up and find out the truth.

i could understand if she was nervous about her birthmark - if that was the real reason. when i was in my cousin's wedding i had never worn a strapless dress and was just in the middle of losing some weight. i cried hysterically that she was choosing this particular dress. i asked for a shawl (so did other girls) and i felt more comfortable. fast forward to the wedding and i was LOVING how i looked in my dress. i never touched that shawl!

but i was self-conscious about my body (still am) and am always worried about what the dresses will look like.

that said, did you offer something to appease her situation - a jacket or something? If you did and she still doesn't want to be in it - there is something else wrong.

in regards to the presents and uneven bridal party - i really wouldn't think twice about it. i know 75 bucks is a lot of money but maybe you can resell it or use it for other presents (maybe for her for christmas or birthday). maybe she can be a reader and then you can give her part of it.

the uneven bridal party isn't that big of an issue IMO.

thank you girls for caring so much. I really appreciate it.

My Decision:

her huband fh bro will walk down my mom or a g randmother and stay up there with fh and his other bro the bm

on way back he can walk back up with his 2 kids hand in hand awweeeee fg will be 9 and rb 3

i can return her necklace i still have time i looked at reciept today.

and is his older bro has a problem with this, heck too BAD it was his wife who dropped out.

as for her bouquet i will split it to make the bm have larger ones

f future mother in law had called me to tell me about her... his mom and i are very close, the dropout bm still has not called me...... I am so mad over that!


thanks again girls, your the best!

Christine