BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

DGoldfarb0776 Posted: Jun 05, 2007 11:39 PM

BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

I got a call from one of my BM's (only was going to have two in the wedding) - I have known her since I was four years old and love her like a sister. Even our grandmothers were friends when we were little.
She got laid off from her job recently and can't be in the wedding. I'm a bit sad and it got me a bit depressed because now the BP is uneven and I don't really have any other close friends or relatives that I would want.
Not sure what I want to do - I'm not mad at her because I'm glad that she told me 9 months before the wedding rather then later down the line. I'm still good friends with her and I know that she'll still come to the wedding. FH was so mad that he didn't want to invite her but I told him that it's not like she didn't try...gotta love her regardless. FH is just sad because I am a bit sad about it and if I had the means atm I'd buy her dress for her but atm I know I can't do that.

Thanks for letting me vent- I know it will work out in the end but still a little sad about things.

LuckyMe Posted: Jun 05, 2007 11:42 PM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

Well she has 9months until the wedding. Why not give her the option to hold off dropping out for atleast a month. Im sure she'll have another job by then and you can see where it goes. Sorry and good luck

Mrs. V 2008 Posted: Jun 05, 2007 11:42 PM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

Posted by LuckyMe

Well she has 9months until the wedding. Why not give her the option to hold off dropping out for atleast a month. Im sure she'll have another job by then and you can see where it goes. Sorry and good luck

thats a good idea..and im sorry about that

DGoldfarb0776 Posted: Jun 05, 2007 11:52 PM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

That's also what I didn't mention- she doesn't have a college education (just graduated HS) so I'm not so sure that she can find a job right away- she was working at the GAP when she got laid off but I am not giving up just yet..I am hoping that she'll change her mind.
She's just one of my oldest and dearest friends and I just wanted her by my side that day...she even went shopping with me for my gown and we had a ball. She'll still be there regardless and I still love her.
I was thinking that the one BM I do have can walk down with both GM on her arm I think she'd love that idea..lol

Mrs. V 2008 Posted: Jun 05, 2007 11:55 PM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

Posted by DGoldfarb0776

That's also what I didn't mention- she doesn't have a college education (just graduated HS) so I'm not so sure that she can find a job right away- she was working at the GAP when she got laid off but I am not giving up just yet..I am hoping that she'll change her mind.
She's just one of my oldest and dearest friends and I just wanted her by my side that day...she even went shopping with me for my gown and we had a ball. She'll still be there regardless and I still love her.
I was thinking that the one BM I do have can walk down with both GM on her arm I think she'd love that idea..lol

wow that really stinks..but i hope everything works out! maybe things will turn around and she'll get the money!

bemyyoko Posted: Jun 06, 2007 12:01 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

my best friend won't be in my bridal party either due to reasons beyond her control. but i told her if she can make it to the wedding i'd still love for her to be there and if at any moment she decides she'd like to be in the BP she can be. The exact shade of dress won't matter to me as long as she's there.

Maybe you can give her a similar option. Especially if you're only have 2 bm's anyway... can she wear a differant/cheaper dress?

i'm sorry you're dealing with this. i can totally relate.

billandme Posted: Jun 06, 2007 12:03 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

not sure if this option would work or what her price range is, but maybe Ebay has someone selling a BM dress like the ones you have or were planning to have? That would save her money too.....just another option

Sorry this is happneing.......it's sad, but things happen for reasons.......now you just have to find out what that reason is

Skeeter Posted: Jun 06, 2007 12:59 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

I had a similar issue with one of my bms So I opted to not give her a gift and helped buy her the dress. I don't know if this is an option for you.

megzzie Posted: Jun 06, 2007 01:02 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

That is a bummer, but the wedding is 9 months away, so anything can happen.

chrispar Posted: Jun 06, 2007 06:07 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

Oh sorry to hear that. Hopefully things will change by your wedding and she can be by your side. Just to make you feel better in case things dont change I have an uneven bridal party. I know tahts not the sme as ner not being by your side, but try not to be depressed about it.

MrsD71208 Posted: Jun 06, 2007 06:28 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

Sorry to hear..it's a tough situation. Uneven BM's are ok...have two men walk with one lady.

AmandaLynn04 Posted: Jun 06, 2007 07:22 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

I'm not sure this is possible, but, maybe you can offer to buy her the dress, as her BM gift? I hope this isn't too personal a response, but, if it's the money that's the problem, and you can manage it, it's an idea!

blu6385 Posted: Jun 06, 2007 08:25 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

i had two BM drop out (long story) anyway i didnt want an uneven BP either (i cant stand things uneven) so since i wasnt sure who else i really wanted to ask ( i didnt really want to ask anyone in my family) ... i asked FH if he wanted to include any females in the BP (he only asked one and i ended up asking another friend)... so maybe thats an option ... does FH have any close female relative or friends ...

Mizzdimple Posted: Jun 06, 2007 08:26 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

sorry for that....

But she has a good excuse.

lyndanoelle Posted: Jun 06, 2007 08:36 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

Posted by DGoldfarb0776

That's also what I didn't mention- she doesn't have a college education (just graduated HS) so I'm not so sure that she can find a job right away- she was working at the GAP when she got laid off but I am not giving up just yet..I am hoping that she'll change her mind.
She's just one of my oldest and dearest friends and I just wanted her by my side that day...she even went shopping with me for my gown and we had a ball. She'll still be there regardless and I still love her.
I was thinking that the one BM I do have can walk down with both GM on her arm I think she'd love that idea..lol

Bridesmaids dresses are expensive and Its nice that she told you this far ahead.

Im not sure what your situation is like but for my maids im covering some of the cost. I cut out a few things from the wedding budget so i could do it but I think its worth it.

If you have picked the dresses but not ordered them maybe check with family and friends and find out who is really good at making clothing. this is also a Huge way of saving money IF they are good at it. I would want to see some work first.

I hope this helps and im so sorry that you are in this position. Just keep her involved and she may end up coming around.

rahana316 Posted: Jun 06, 2007 08:43 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

Hmm that's a tough situation. Is she still coming to the wedding though??

I guess like some others, if you can afford it and want her to be in the wedding that much, maybe offer to get her dress for her.

If you can't afford it in your budget, why not try to include her some other important part of the day.

Good luck!!

ama1771 Posted: Jun 06, 2007 08:48 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

kellybean Posted: Jun 06, 2007 10:06 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

I told one of my BMs who is newly married and due in Nov with her first baby that I would help with the dress I cant do it all but I will help and it turned out she was more worried about being able to give me a gift then getting her dress...Just took alot of convincing to let her know her being there was a gift in itself!!!

ourday08 Posted: Jun 06, 2007 10:17 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

Sorry to hear that but I hope everything will be OK.

femmes Posted: Jun 06, 2007 10:22 AM

Re: BM Dropped Out and I'm a Bit Depressed

Posted by LuckyMe

Well she has 9months until the wedding. Why not give her the option to hold off dropping out for atleast a month. Im sure she'll have another job by then and you can see where it goes. Sorry and good luck

i agree with this..i think she did right by telling you in advance, not at the last moment..