BM Issue 2 - Am I being unreasonable?

So my one BM is infuriating me. I asked my BM if we could try to coordinate a day in January where we could all go order the dress (or if not maybe coordinate two different days). The place I am ordering from doesn't have the BM dress I chose in stock yet, so if they wanted to try it on they would need to go to an alternate shop.

Anyways, my one BMs emails me to tell me she is coming down the 5th and 6th (a Wed and Thursday) to try on the dress and order it with me. I told her I can't take off work to go look at the dresses since I am saving my days for my HM and right before the wedding - plus on Wed neither salon is open after 5 and on Thursday evening I have a doctor's appt. Then she acts like I am being unreasonable since she took off those days just to come down to look at the BM dresses (um hello - why wouldn't she ask me if I am free those days before she takes them off?!?). UGH - I am just feeling so annoyed. Why can't she come down on a weekend - she is in Boston not Guam. GRRRRR

It's an obnoxious situation, and unfortunately, we've all been through it. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

However, trying to make everyone happy is merely impossible.

Let her go by herself on those days and see the dress, take pictures, and get measured....you don't have to be there for it, especially since you need to save all the personal days you can possibly get for the wedding.

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Posted by ChristineAEV

It's an obnoxious situation, and unfortunately, we've all been through it. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

However, trying to make everyone happy is merely impossible.

Let her go by herself on those days and see the dress, take pictures, and get measured....you don't have to be there for it, especially since you need to save all the personal days you can possibly get for the wedding.

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Thanks! My stomach is all in knots cause I am such a people pleaser, but my BMs are making it impossible to please them. I told her she could go try the dress on herself (she is from LI - so she knows all the roads), but she didn't seem so happy about that. I'm trying to be flexible, but she isn't really flexing

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Posted by SuzBride

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Posted by ChristineAEV

It's an obnoxious situation, and unfortunately, we've all been through it. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

However, trying to make everyone happy is merely impossible.

Let her go by herself on those days and see the dress, take pictures, and get measured....you don't have to be there for it, especially since you need to save all the personal days you can possibly get for the wedding.

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Thanks! My stomach is all in knots cause I am such a people pleaser, but my BMs are making it impossible to please them. I told her she could go try the dress on herself (she is from LI - so she knows all the roads), but she didn't seem so happy about that. I'm trying to be flexible, but she isn't really flexing

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It's picking and choosing the battles. Sometimes when you give people too much freedom, they take advantage of it. You have to remember, people will be selfish and do what's better for them, and more convenient.

You're doing the best you can to make everyone happy, and it's upsetting when that goes unnoticed. Don't do that to yourself b/c you need all your sanity for other things in the wedding planning process.

Worse comes to worse - we can beat her up for you.

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Posted by ChristineAEV

Worse comes to worse - we can beat her up for you.

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Thanks Christine! You definitely cheered me up

locate the dress in Boston and have your BM try on the dress near her. this saves you and her the frustration. Then you can just order it for her.
Good luck!