bm issue

christophersgirl Posted: Oct 28, 2008 05:57 PM

bm issue

hi girls

this has been bothering me for a few days... and i'm considering kicking one of my asked bm's out of the party...shes making petty little comments on my wedding planning choices and its bothering me... like 'uhg, thats interesting' or 'you should go with a better printer for your wedding invites'

i can be over reacting or getting bridezilla but i dont know...

i'm worried she will be un-punctual on my wedding day and end up holding everything up on MY day, she's notorious for be hours late to everything...

and my sorority big sister is considering on declining being my bm because of her...doesn't think she can work with this girl...

i'm so conflicted... i need some good advice...

RitasEngaged Posted: Oct 28, 2008 06:24 PM

Re: bm issue

I would kick her out! It is one thing to give advice and it is another to criticize.

In the end it is YOUR day and you need to be happy.

RedsBride Posted: Oct 28, 2008 06:30 PM

Re: bm issue

I agree, it does sound like she needs the boot. But maybe you should hold off a bit first or talk to her first about what she's been saying and doing to upset you and then take it from there.

LouMar2010 Posted: Oct 28, 2008 06:32 PM

Re: bm issue

if its comes down to having to pick between them i would pick the one that isnt making the comments. there are no reasons for that. can you change her from a bm to a reader at the wedding?

christophersgirl Posted: Oct 28, 2008 06:32 PM

Re: bm issue

well i was actually thinking of waiting to see if she makes anymore comments w/o me saying anything and if she did i would give her the boot...but if i had to in fact give her the boot, how do i do something like that? is there a nice way to de-bm someone?

christophersgirl Posted: Oct 28, 2008 06:32 PM

Re: bm issue

Posted by LouMar2010

if its comes down to having to pick between them i would pick the one that isnt making the comments. there are no reasons for that. can you change her from a bm to a reader at the wedding?

i'd do that in heartbeat if i knew how to change her job haha

Goldie39 Posted: Oct 28, 2008 06:41 PM

Re: bm issue

unfortunately not everyone is meant to be a BM and sometimes the people who we think are going to be happy for us are not as thrilled as we'd hope. if your gut feeling is telling you to let her go as a BM, then it's probably the best decision. have you tried talking to her first?

christophersgirl Posted: Oct 28, 2008 06:44 PM

Re: bm issue

no i haven't talked to her yet..i know i will have to at some point before i just kick her out

but let also mention she also pulled some unkosher sh!t with my MOH, even though everything is OK now, in a professional capacity, i thought it was bad and i felt the need to stick up for my MOH as well...

stinenandy2010 Posted: Oct 28, 2008 06:46 PM

Re: bm issue

I would talk to her first. Maybe she doesn't realize how she is coming off.

DnT2010 Posted: Oct 28, 2008 07:04 PM

Re: bm issue

Posted by stinenandy2010

I would talk to her first. Maybe she doesn't realize how she is coming off.

i agree.. and feel her out for a little longer. if she is important to you dont kick her out right away... but if she is still behaving like a biatch after your chat then give her the boot.

mosh424 Posted: Oct 28, 2008 07:50 PM

Re: bm issue

Posted by RitasEngaged

I would kick her out! It is one thing to give advice and it is another to criticize.

In the end it is YOUR day and you need to be happy.

I agree with you Rita Totally!!!

christophersgirl Posted: Oct 28, 2008 08:30 PM

Re: bm issue

i heart all of you, liw has to be one of the better wedding decisions i've made yet

DnT2010 Posted: Oct 28, 2008 08:31 PM

Re: bm issue

Posted by christophersgirl

i heart all of you, liw has to be one of the better wedding decisions i've made yet

yeah LIW 2010 girls rock

christophersgirl Posted: Oct 29, 2008 12:17 AM

Re: bm issue

Posted by DnT2010

Posted by christophersgirl

i heart all of you, liw has to be one of the better wedding decisions i've made yet

yeah LIW 2010 girls rock

i couldn't agree more, we're the awesomest (that is so not a word...)

JSG10506 Posted: Oct 29, 2008 01:22 AM

Re: bm issue

You aren't being a bridezilla at all. If she is already giving you so many problems, and irritating your other BMs, I would kick her out. You will have enough stress to deal with, she shouldn't be an added stress due to her poor manners and bad behavior.

jayepyt Posted: Oct 29, 2008 01:29 AM

Re: bm issue

i say give her the boot sorry

JenBill61210 Posted: Oct 29, 2008 08:34 AM

Re: bm issue

i would talk to her first before making the decision to kick her out. She may not realize the way she is acting and i would bring it up to her. If she doesn't change her ways, then kick her out.

christophersgirl Posted: Oct 29, 2008 08:50 AM

Re: bm issue

thanks ladies! i appreciate all your wonderful words of encouragement and confirmation i'm not nuts or being any sorta zilla...

just an update:

like many of you have suggested i probably wont give her the boot as of yet.. i'd like to see if she makes anymore snide comments and then confront her and if things don't change then (or worse if she makes snide comments behind my back) then i will definitely at the point kick her out on her a$$