BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

TeddyFrogsDivaBride Posted: Jan 20, 2007 05:52 PM

BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

Ok, so as some of you know, my FH's brother passed away in Sept. During the entire illness, etc., my FSIL and FFIL and his GF have NOT gotten along (LONG LONG LONG Story with mega drama). In fact, when FH's brother passed away, they SWORE they would never talk to eachother again and sometimes they do, but the talk about eachother,etc. Well, we have an interesting issue in that I kinda talk to FSIL (it's awkward, but I feel for her) and kinda talked to her about being in the wedding party, and she expressed interest not only in doing that, but in being a part of the wedding. We are already worried about people's behaviors on our day (they better not mess with us!) but now we are torn...what should we do?! FSIL would be doing all of the same things, but some people have expressed that she brings drama wherever she goes, and they don't care for it...thanks so much, all!

PS FH is worried because he feels things with her are so awkward, he is super torn as well

vmystique33 Posted: Jan 20, 2007 05:54 PM

Re: BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

Thats a touchy subject you have to really think about this if you have any bad feeling that she would cause any drama I wouldnt do it !!

TeddyFrogsDivaBride Posted: Jan 20, 2007 05:56 PM

Re: BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

When she and I spoke about it, we kinda left it as a we'll see and she said her feelings wouldn't be hurt, but now what?! I am BAD with confrontation but if she is going to rub too many people the wrong way and try to be overly dramatic, that's not going to work, either! Thanks!

vmystique33 Posted: Jan 20, 2007 05:59 PM

Re: BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

Im bad with doing this kind of stuff too but its something even I would get myself to do so my day isnt ruined I hope it works out for you!! good luck!!

TeddyFrogsDivaBride Posted: Jan 20, 2007 06:01 PM

Re: BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

Thanks for the support!

vmystique33 Posted: Jan 20, 2007 06:02 PM

Re: BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

Your welcome sorry I couldnt really help

TeddyFrogsDivaBride Posted: Jan 20, 2007 06:08 PM

Re: BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

don't worry!

Future Mrs. Posted: Jan 20, 2007 07:43 PM

Re: BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

I don't understand....are you talking about your FSIL being in the wedding? OR are you talking about your late Brother in law's girlfriend being in the wedding? which one?

acutemark Posted: Jan 20, 2007 09:23 PM

Re: BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

I understand how you must feel. If you want your FSIL to be apart of your wedding it would be because you and your FH want her to be apart of it. Two of my bridesmaids are not on speaking terms (sisters of course) but I wanted them there because when I look back at my wedding I want to remeber all the special people who were apart of it. How much drama do you think FSIL will bring?

TeddyFrogsDivaBride Posted: Jan 20, 2007 10:04 PM

Re: BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

I am talking about FSIL...I don't have a FBIL anymore...no one ever knows how much drama she will bring, so it's hard...it's also a year away...

acutemark Posted: Jan 21, 2007 08:52 AM

Re: BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

I give you some love to take the stress away.....

AlliCatB Posted: Jan 21, 2007 09:23 AM

Re: BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

I would ask your FH to talk to her. It's his family & they have a relationship that probably allows things to be said, sans hurt, that u and she don't have. He needs to express the concerns but not mention your name at all. Then if she wants to be involved and says she'll be on her best behavior, pass it over to your MOH - have her keep an eye out! That's their role in this anyways, to keep you de-stressed!

And after all that is said and done, it's out of your hands. You'll never be able to control what she's going to do or say, only your reactions to it. AND you don't want to get involved in a family war, so be sure you say nothing!!

who needs the stress!

TeddyFrogsDivaBride Posted: Jan 21, 2007 09:44 AM

Re: BM issue of an interesting kind (longish)

You are 100% right except that in this family, it is too late..everyone is so intertwined, but having FH talk to her might help/change things. Thank you so much for the advice...my MOH is already saying, 'she causes drama, im not a fan of her!' but i know in the end, i can count on her..shes the best! :)