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BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

ryansgurl Posted:

BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

IMO, this SIL is someone you're probably going to have to continue to see well after the marriage... If you start off on the wrong foot now and kick her out, there may be tension down the road as well... If it was just a friend who may or may not be in your life later on, I'd say go for it

vicky1125 Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

i'm sorry but it's your wedding & if the other BM's are ok with the dress and the price then she shouldn't participate. the way i see it is right now she's complaining about the dress but come closer to the wedding she's going to complain about the RD, bridal shower, BM shoes, and god knows what else. personally, i don't need people like that in my bridal party. JMO.

meara Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?


Is there something else that she could do in your wedding? You should have BMs to support you - and they should be happy to be there. Or is there another BM she is friends with that could talk to her and ask her to relax so you don't have to confront her.

DINAAMATUCCIO Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

ow this is your wedding not hers ... I would tell her flat out that this is the dress i chose and if you feel that you cant afford it then maybe you shouldn't be in the wedding party, because thats average price for a BM dress, and there are going to be other things she has to pay for. BM's are supposed to support you and help you with your decisions, not be bossy and complain. I would get her out or talk to FH to get her out!

missjones2007 Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

First off all...ITS YOUR DAY!....and they should wear what you want them to wear!


secondly......she should have never offered to be in the wedding if she didnt have money like that...these girls know that it is going to cost money to be a bridesmaid.....


if she dont like your rules then tell her to kick the curb!
Future Mrs Roo Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

I agree with future mrs mazz. I wouldnt kick her out b/c she is family and you will have to deal with her in the future BUT I would kindly let her know this is your wedding and this dress is the one that we agreed on. She can give her advice when it is asked for. and being that she had her own wedding recently she should understand this.

littlepixie12 Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

hmmm, she could have expressed her views at HER wedding. this is your wedding and IMO when you agree to be in someone's wedding then you know what you are getting into and should be accomadating. I am not saying that poeple dont have problems, but you did give her a chance to back out. I wouldnt kick her out because you will have to deal with her later on in life, but just very nicely tell her that this is the dress that everyone agreed on and she should plan on ordering it or she can choose to not be in the BP if it is too much money for her

PoppedInASnap Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

thats your sil right? That may be tough if you kick her out now...since its your husbands family member who you will prob see...
I really would sit down and talk to her...see if that helps a bit?
PoppedInASnap Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

ps-keep to the dress maybe you wont have to kick her out and she'll drop out?

TheLadyJ Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

I don't even want to say this is a 'majority rules' situation. You are the bride, the girls should wear the dress you choose for them.

Talk to all of the other girls, not this 1 BM causing problems, and ask which dress they like. When they choose one that is also acceptable to you, tell FSIL that you reconsidered and you want them all to have X dress (do keep the price of the dress in mind).

Tell her you hope she will be part of you and FH (her brother's) special day, but if she doesn't want to wear the dress she should let you know now. In other words, it's that dress - without complaints - or she can bow out now.

Also, let FH know what is going on. Perhaps he can tell his sister to stop causing problems.
PROBM Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

what did she say when you gave her an out?

dazey Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

i think the best way to handle it is simply and nicely say this..

'These are the dresses i want my bridesmaid's to wear. If you don't like the dress, or if you can't afford it, I totally understand if you don't want to be in the bridal party - I won't be hurt or upset, just let me know asap. Thanks.'
ryansgurl Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

She said she wanted to stay in the wedding. She just lost her job a few weeks ago. When i asked her she was stil working.

ryansgurl Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

thanks for all the advice. I'll just nicely give her the option of buying the dress or backing out. I don't want to cause too many problems with the in-laws

baba022 Posted:

Re: BM issue. Should I kick someone out?

Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

IMO, this SIL is someone you're probably going to have to continue to see well after the marriage... If you start off on the wrong foot now and kick her out, there may be tension down the road as well... If it was just a friend who may or may not be in your life later on, I'd say go for it


I am in a similar situation and I agree with this. If you have an issue, maybe you can talk to your bil and ask him to talk to her, if not, it can cause probs down the line cause she will always have it over you that you kicked her out. You already asked her to be in it. Trust me when I say I totally understand, but I have to keep my mouth shut to keep the peace (even though it is my wedding and all!).

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