I never thought my friends (well, some of them) would be like this - but I've had no help with choosing BM dresses. My sister (MOH) and I went looking 2 weekends ago, found great sundressy-looking dresses. All last week I either got emails saying it was too much ($229) or they didn't like that it was pink or does it have to be bought in the city..The money issue I anticipated and offered to help cover anything they couldn't plus alterations - if they liked the dress. No responses to me except slinging back at whatever other BMs said. Fine, if no one likes the dress, tell me what you're looking for and what range is acceptable. Nothing. My sister and I made appt's (again) to look for dresses but at this point, with no idea as to what people are looking for I'm 1/2 tempted to kick out 2 of the girls and just move on. I've got 2 bridesmaidzillas - I thought I was supposed to be the difficult one! Sorry, just sad because I thought I asked people who were going to be supportive and fun and happy for me. Thank God in 5 months it will all be over.
AJsMommy122
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Re: BM Problems - Help!!
if you really like the dress and they dont too bad. I got very lucky that everyone agreed on 2 dress... my sister told me before hand if they didnt then its my wedding, and when the time comes for theres then they can stick me in anything they want and its too bad for me. Do you have the name and style # of the dress that was too expensive?
btrflygrl
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Re: BM Problems - Help!!
why don't you ask them for suggestions of what they like? The color is YOUR choice though...this is your wedding
gilgo31
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Re: BM Problems - Help!!
I sent out 2 emails asking what they were looking for, (formal, informal, sleeveless, off the shoulder) and what price range was acceptable, so that I wouldn't go traipsing all over the free world for nothing. One BM (who is now getting married 1 month after me) told me I had no right to expect help from BMs, that she didn't and everything went fine. Everyone else has been silent (except for my sister and 2 other BMs). The designer is Jenny Yoo and to the best of my knowledge, there is no style #, just a name (I think it's Cassandra or Cassie or something) I guess I never expected this kind of stress over BM dresses.
AJsMommy122
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Re: BM Problems - Help!!
you can call the wedding center in commack - they give price quotes over the phone. I know it really sucks.. some of my bms have been great but one has been really selfish latley and is saying she cant afford anything.. I didnt even really want her in my BP ( I wanted to keep it small) I have been debating asking her to just be a guest instead of a BM
**you shouldnt ask them if it should be formal or informal.. that all depends on the type of wedding you are planning. they have no choice in that... **
gilgo31
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Re: BM Problems - Help!!
At this point, I just want to tell them to wear jeans and leave me out of it.
AJsMommy122
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Re: BM Problems - Help!!
what if you tell them the color and have them all go get whatever dress they want? or do you want everyone wearing the same?? like at one point I loved the bill levkoff euro red color and before I found THE dress, I told them if they wanted they could get any bill levkoff in that color.. Just a suggestion
gilgo31
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Re: BM Problems - Help!!
The sad part is originally I told everyone - pink dress, whatever and wherever you want. The same bride2be bridesmaid emailed me constantly as to what length, style, material, cut..etc, and that I should offer more guidelines. Well, I did offer more guidelines - I found a great dress - and it got me nowhere. I made a major mistake choosing certain bridesmaids. *sigh*
FeliciaDA
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Re: BM Problems - Help!!
Posted by gilgo31
I never thought my friends (well, some of them) would be like this - but I've had no help with choosing BM dresses. My sister (MOH) and I went looking 2 weekends ago, found great sundressy-looking dresses. All last week I either got emails saying it was too much ($229) or they didn't like that it was pink or does it have to be bought in the city..The money issue I anticipated and offered to help cover anything they couldn't plus alterations - if they liked the dress. No responses to me except slinging back at whatever other BMs said. Fine, if no one likes the dress, tell me what you're looking for and what range is acceptable. Nothing. My sister and I made appt's (again) to look for dresses but at this point, with no idea as to what people are looking for I'm 1/2 tempted to kick out 2 of the girls and just move on. I've got 2 bridesmaidzillas - I thought I was supposed to be the difficult one! Sorry, just sad because I thought I asked people who were going to be supportive and fun and happy for me. Thank God in 5 months it will all be over.
Oy.. I'm sorry about your dilemma... its things like this that show you who your TRUE friends are, unfortunately. This is partly why I'm having only MOH/2 BMs in my wedding (and ONE of the BMs is giving me 'agita' already!!)
Hope everything works out!!
nan&dave
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Re: BM Problems - Help!!
I'm sorry that you're going thru this, but they are being bi***es. If it were me, I would honestly kick them out. Being your bridesmaid, they're supposed to help you if they can. I understand that people have lives outside of your 'wedding' but they agreed to be in your bridal party. No gun put to their head. You have offered help, how many things can you do? YOU PICK THE COLOR. ITS YOUR WEDDING.
