BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

LnP2003 Posted: Jun 25, 2003 06:57 PM

BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

I need help.... One of my BM's today told me something that didn't make me too happy - she said that my mom was being a pain with things, and that a few people are getting annoyed with her (my mom).

Anyway, I told my sis (MOH), and she told one of my other bridesmaids.. Anyway, it turns out that the one BM is saying that my mom is being a pain cuz she (my mom) is having difference of opinions with my one BM (the one who complained to me in the first place).

Story short - now one of my other BM's is at her wits end because as far as what she told me, my parents (BOTH OF THEM) are doing everything in their power to give me the best bridal shower around (as far as my dad is concerned 'If I want to spend a million dollars on my daughters bridal shower then I will', but my one BM is getting so stressed with 2 of the others that she is on the verge of backing out if she doesn't cool it!

If you were able to follow all of that - what should I do??????????? HELP ME PLEEEEEEEEZZZ

LnP2003 Posted: Jun 25, 2003 07:49 PM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

NO ONE?????????

xjulietx Posted: Jun 25, 2003 07:51 PM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

If they are bickering about your shower and such, STAY OUT OF IT!!! My SIL was dragged into the planning of her shower by her co-matrons of honor and then my brother was dragged and it should just be between the arguing parties. If your friend has a problem with your mom, she should settle it with your mom and not get you involved.

swags1016 Posted: Jun 25, 2003 07:54 PM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

I read it and to be honest I lost you in the middle. I didn't understand if it was the first BM that you mentioned that is getting frustrated with the other 2 or just your parents.

I just didn't follow it but I also have a headache so I can't concentrate well.

If one girl is considering leaving and you want her to be in your wedding then talk to her. Let her vent and see if there is anything you can do to make the peace.

Sorry I can't be more help, but I do feel for you. My FSIL's were useless so my MOH and my cousin (BM) just ignored them and it was my MOH, cousin and mother who planned my whole shower

cw0904 Posted: Jun 25, 2003 08:09 PM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

Lisa you lost me in the middle. Is another BM ready to not be in your BP b/c of this flapping BM? And is there another that jumped on the band wagon and is complaining too?

I think you should talk to your mom. Find out from her what is going on. Do you think your friend is telling the truth about your mom? If so then I would ask your mom, if she would let each of them handle one thing. And leave it at that.
If you want to talk about it call me.

LnP2003 Posted: Jun 25, 2003 08:43 PM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

here's to clarify.

BM1 - she is complaining about my mom & says there's more BM's that have a problem with her..

BM2 - she is like a sister to me, and has told me that BM1 is the one causing the problems - not my mom or dad.

bm2 is the one that is on the verge of leaving the BP if bm1 doesn't straighten her act up.

hope that helps!

alina Posted: Jun 26, 2003 09:00 AM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

Have your sister (MOH) tell the bm who is backing out (BM2) that by backing out b/c of BM1 she will only make you more upset and it defeats the purpose. Someone should straighten BM1 out, but you should stay OUT of the whole thing.

NovemberSue Posted: Jun 26, 2003 09:05 AM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

I don't think the BM should say anything to you about this. Its your shower and you aren't supposed to be involved at all. I would tell her to talk to your sister and that you don't want to get involved. If she is really concerned about your happiness then she wouldn't back out. Tell her to work it out with the others.

Becky Posted: Jun 26, 2003 09:06 AM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

I agree with Alina, have your MOH handle the situation. You should not be involved in this. Tell BM1 not to complaint to you and have MOH tell her that all of the BP should defer to your mom, even if she wants clowns and dancing ladies, because the bridal shower is usually something that moms are soooo into. BM1 can control her own wedding and her own mother.

Don't stress about this.

Lisa Rose Posted: Jun 26, 2003 09:08 AM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

I had the same cr@p with my BM's. My mom stayed out of the planning of the shower becasuse she knew that her and my dad were not in a position to pay for it, so therefor had no say in it. My mom did come over to my sisters house (thats where the shower was) and help her clean and fix her gardens. MY BM's got mad and said that my mom had no right to interfere. Now, I know my mom butts her nose into where it does not belong...but in this case I think my BM's were out of line. My sister (MOH) was at her wits end with them, and after the shower, she told me that she wishes I hadnt asked them to be in the bridal party. I was very upset, but my sister was cool about it and didnt tell me anything until it was all over other wise I would have flipped out on them.

My advice to you is to tell you Bridal Party that the shower is THEIR affair and that you do not want to know anything about it...including the bickering and pettiness!!!!

jenny2penny Posted: Jun 26, 2003 09:11 AM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

I agree with alina too. And you should not be involved in it anyway. The shower is for you, not to include you in the planning.

Did you ask your parenets what has been going on. Are you parents paying for the shower? If so, then the BM shouldn't have much comments.

cw0904 Posted: Jun 26, 2003 09:12 AM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

I get it now. BM1 needs a kick in the a$$!!!!! Why is it that weddings bring out the worst in some people?
Will your sister get involved and tell her to back off? Or another BM?

That is not very nice of your friend to be talking about your mom especially when she is lieing!! I would be PI$$ED and tell her off myself! I would get involved in any situation if someone has something bad to say about my parents. That is flat out disrespectful and wrong to do! I know many disagree but that is just me.

shelzyp Posted: Jun 26, 2003 09:35 AM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

Ask your MOH to deal with it, and tell BM2 that that kind of response to BM! is only goign to cause you more anxiety then you already need.

Noone should be telling you anything about your Bridal SHower, you have enough to deal with.

LnP2003 Posted: Jun 26, 2003 06:38 PM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

to you all for responding!

it's sooo stressful - especially cuz now my mother wants to be more involved - she really hasn't been too involved with things in my life, so i think that now she feels it's one of those $hit or get off the pot....

my sister i know will not tell BM1 anything - it's gonna be up to BM2 who thinks exactly like me, so i trust her judgement.... it's just a hard thing - i got wind of all of this when i shouldn't have known a thing about it.... why is it that every bridal shower i have been involved with i have done my darndest to not overstep my bounds, but make sure to contribute all of me, and the same can't go for me at my time (((me whining)))

HearzBellz Posted: Jun 26, 2003 06:51 PM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

Honestly.... they are arguring about something that you are not supposed to be involved in.... I understand they are stressed, but maybe you can appeal to BM #2 to try & straighten it our on thier own - for your sake.

mbrsigma Posted: Jul 02, 2003 11:33 PM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

Hi Lisa,

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone would just get along. I happen to know all three of your BM's and i think that they all need to relax. Your Mom and Dad are paying for all of this and should definatley have a big say. There is no how or no way that your parents can be wrong, when all they want is the best for you. I know your parents and all your situations with them and let them be. I think you should let them and your sister take care of it and you just sit back and enjoy yourself. everyone is going to have difference of opinions and they should not be complaining to you.
Especially for your Bridal Shower.

You know you can always call me to talk.
Love you
Mere

JCbride2B Posted: Jul 02, 2003 11:52 PM

Re: BM problems.... : ( - LONG!

your mom has a right to be excited and want to be involved. bm1 sounds like she needs to have more understanding with your mom. why would she complain to you about your mother and the shower? isnt the shower one thing you should not have to worry about and just enjoy? can your sis be a buffer between mom and the bm's?