In my bridal party I am having my sister as my MOH, my other sister, sister-in-law, cousin, 2 friends, and future sister-in-law as BM. Also my FG is grroms cousin's daughter. Anyway my Mom keeps giving me mixed signals about my oldest sister who lives in Fl. (who I am not having as a BM) When I was making my decision about y BP i consulted my Mom. She said she thought it would be ok but to have her do a reading or something. But now she keeps bringing up the fact that I am not havig her. NOW.....here is the reason I am not having her. She is my sister and I love her.....but she is....how do i put this nicely...often mentally unstable. And i am totally serious. Not being mean or saracstic. She is the type who has a different story each day. Everyone in the world is out to sabatoge her blah blah blah. Put it this way she was married had 2 kids, got divorced decided she was bi/lesbian (im not even sure), moved to Fl. only to get pregnant by a drug addict who is currently in jail. But she goes to church and is a born again christian who wants to get back with her baby's daddy who is incarcerated. So, i ultimately decided not to have her b/c I didnt want to hear the excuses, drama, and any other nonsense about the dress or otherwise. She is not a consistent indiviual and never remembers on my birthday or when I send gifts or presenst for the kids I never get a thank you. Sorry for the EXTREME VENT. But am I wrong??????
transamgirlie
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Re: BM Question??
no you are not wrong. I see your reasons and I think you have good enough reason for your decision. Don't second guess yourself. Stick with your gut.
espresso
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HMm that's a sticky problem. Do you think it might cause extra drama if you don't have her?
JazzyT
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I think you have good reasons.
bride_to_be_2007
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Posted by espresso
HMm that's a sticky problem. Do you think it might cause extra drama if you don't have her?
I'm not too sure. I mean my mother cant get mad b/c I aksed her and she said it would be ok. Thats why Im having her do the reading. That way she can still be a part of the day but there is no prep prior. I'll make her aware of the reading and then all she has to do is show up for the rehearsal and day of. No fittings or other problems. I also figure if some excuse or random problem arises its not a big deal to have someone fill in. I guess it sounds selfish but i dont want to deal with her unexpected stories when it come to my day.
espresso
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Re: BM Question??
Posted by bride_to_be_2007
Posted by espresso
HMm that's a sticky problem. Do you think it might cause extra drama if you don't have her?
I'm not too sure. I mean my mother cant get mad b/c I aksed her and she said it would be ok. Thats why Im having her do the reading. That way she can still be a part of the day but there is no prep prior. I'll make her aware of the reading and then all she has to do is show up for the rehearsal and day of. No fittings or other problems. I also figure if some excuse or random problem arises its not a big deal to have someone fill in. I guess it sounds selfish but i dont want to deal with her unexpected stories when it come to my day.
It doesnt sound selfish at all. you should do whatever you want-it's your wedding! But i know sometimes families can cause extra drama, so do a pro/con weighing. it might be less stressful for you to throw her in-then you could avoid any drama she might add by telling everyone how shes not in the party, etc. if you think its more drama by adding her-fittings and all that, def keep her out and do a nice reading or something to make her feel a part of it.
Def do what makes it easier on you!
bride_to_be_2007
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Re: BM Question??
Posted by espresso
Posted by bride_to_be_2007
Posted by espresso
HMm that's a sticky problem. Do you think it might cause extra drama if you don't have her?
I'm not too sure. I mean my mother cant get mad b/c I aksed her and she said it would be ok. Thats why Im having her do the reading. That way she can still be a part of the day but there is no prep prior. I'll make her aware of the reading and then all she has to do is show up for the rehearsal and day of. No fittings or other problems. I also figure if some excuse or random problem arises its not a big deal to have someone fill in. I guess it sounds selfish but i dont want to deal with her unexpected stories when it come to my day.
It doesnt sound selfish at all. you should do whatever you want-it's your wedding! But i know sometimes families can cause extra drama, so do a pro/con weighing. it might be less stressful for you to throw her in-then you could avoid any drama she might add by telling everyone how shes not in the party, etc. if you think its more drama by adding her-fittings and all that, def keep her out and do a nice reading or something to make her feel a part of it.
Def do what makes it easier on you!
Thanks so much!
soon2bmrsdunn
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Re: BM Question??
I do not think you are wrong. It was nice of you to consult your mom before you made your decision. If you feel that her life is too unstable, than having her do a reading is fine. If something happens and she doesn't show up it will be easier to have someone else do the reading rather than you being upset that you are missing a bm.
futrmrsblt
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Do what you feel is right! You are including her, just not as a BM, its perfectly acceptable.. don't succumb to others pressures.. its your day.. and if not having her in it as a BM means the whole process will run smoother.. go for it! Its not selfish its smart! (And if your like me and for some reason she falls through as a BM and theres no symatry -i can 't spell) It would annoy me ALL day)
