BM Trouble...

NicoleandAlex Posted: Mar 03, 2008 03:43 PM

BM Trouble...

One of my closest friends and I got into a fight a week after I had gotten engaged... (yes it was one of the dumbest fights that I have ever been in... she is the type of friend that makes everything about her her her) under normal circumstances she would of been one of my bms... but after this fight I was totally over her and her drama and did not want to bring the drama to my wedding.

Yesterday I received a text from her.. Saying that she missed me and loved me and things we should talk... I told her I agreed.. That I didn’t want to throw away our 10 year friendship over this stupid fight.

My dilemma is if we do start talking do I make her a BM? Can I trust her not to pull the same **** again? Or do I not ask her at all and see what happens from there (knowing that if I don’t our friendship will prob be over)

What do you guys think I should do???

bluegreen08 Posted: Mar 03, 2008 03:55 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

Can you wait a little while before asking your bridesmaids and see how things go?

MEMEJOR Posted: Mar 03, 2008 03:57 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

Are you guys constantly fighting? Or was this a first fight? If it was the first one then I think u should ask her but if u guys are always fighting then I would say no

tinadansr Posted: Mar 03, 2008 04:00 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

if she's a drama queen and you don't want drama on your wedding day....i think you get my point!

GinaBambina08 Posted: Mar 03, 2008 04:12 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

Wait a little while, watch the situation between you two and then ask if nothing crazy happens..

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted: Mar 03, 2008 04:15 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

i had a friend that was always 'me me me' we would have a fallin out n then get back together numerous times... but thnkfully i cut her completely bc i couldnt take it anymore and the thought of her in my wedding was killin me... if shes been that way for a while, dont expect big changes... chances are she wont change one bit an you'll be right back in the same place that u started in..

Mrs B to Be Posted: Mar 03, 2008 04:23 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

i think i would hold off, what about maybe ask her to do a reading? that way shes apart of the day but cant cause to much drama??? i can see a person who needs everything to be abour her causing lots of drama when it comes to the shower, hair, dresses, the list goes on and on......this day is about you

MrsDtoBe09 Posted: Mar 03, 2008 04:41 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

My advice is to WAIT as long as possible.

Future Mulligan Posted: Mar 03, 2008 04:42 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

Posted by MrsDtoBe09

My advice is to WAIT as long as possible.

i agree - wait it out, you have awhile before you have to make a decision and you dont want to have any regrets!

NicoleandAlex Posted: Mar 03, 2008 04:44 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

I have asked all my other bms already.. I just hope that she doesnt go snooping and find out before I decide what to do. I would have her to a read.. but I am not getting married in a church.. so that is out.

this is our 2nd real fight in 10 years.. but that is b/c I am not a fighting type of person, and I let things roll off my shoulder.

hmmmmmm...........

Bridelikewhoa07 Posted: Mar 03, 2008 04:55 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

i am not an 09 bride and you already know my opinion....however.... you and i both know that this is NOT the first time she has caused such drama.

and def not going to be the last....

she is your version of @@@@@@@@!!!!

JackieV Posted: Mar 03, 2008 04:59 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

i would talk to her... work things out and wait. See how the friendship goes in the next few months and then u can ask her if u want. If she says anything to u about not asking her right away... just tell her u want her in the wedding but ur still upset about everything and ur going to nee d time to get over it all.

beram63 Posted: Mar 03, 2008 05:15 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

just play it by ear. i def wouldn't extend the invitation unless it feels right.

KristiAnn923 Posted: Mar 03, 2008 05:26 PM

Re: BM Trouble...

What can I say that hasn't already been said. I think you should wait. These situations are tricky. It is much easier to not ask her than it is to ask her and then have to un-ask her.

I say wait it out. You will be able to tell once you have started talking again whether she has changed and is sincere of if there is a chance that this might happen again.

Good luck in whatever decision you make. Keep us posted!!

PoppedInASnap Posted: Mar 04, 2008 09:13 AM

Re: BM Trouble...

WAIT it out! Do not push the issue. Just wait it out.... see how she acts once she is comfortable with you again...

flairforfashion Posted: Mar 04, 2008 09:26 AM

Re: BM Trouble...

I'd wait and see how it goes before asking her.

fabulousmady Posted: Mar 04, 2008 09:29 AM

Re: BM Trouble...

I agree with everyone. You should wait to decide on her and in the end if you cant have her as a bm find something else for her to do like a special speech or reading