BM Vent

Okay - i've had it...seriously. It's one thing after another with my bridal party - and there's only 3 of them - plus a MOH...

First thing - my SIL is probably looking to get preggers, but she's very religious and she refuses to talk about it. When I did the first time we were dress shopping, she RIPPED MY HEAD OFF to the point of me being embarassed to walk around the store. I understand your beliefs, but we're talking about a dress you will need to wear and maybe be preggers in - so it needs to be talked about...

Second - SAME GIRL - SIL, she is a lawyer, I understand, lawyers are busy people, but so is everyone. Trying to get an appointment to pick out the dresses finally and order them...NO DICE. Give me the dress line, i'll get to a store and call in to your store and place my order. Fine, I do this, now the appointment is Saturday. I tell her this - she says, i won't have time - i'll go online and find a dress and i'll measure myself & call it in. So now she can't even make time to get to a store...come on now...seriously???

THEN - just now, TODAY - moment's ago.. My FSIL is going through a very bad divorce, really bad, she has two kids...i feel really bad for her..this has been going on though for 2 years now. I didn't want to ask her to be in the bridal party because of all the work that's involved, all the time it will take and all the cost quite frankly... I did it, because I felt like I had no choice. I did tell his mom & dad though that I was worried about the cost of the dress and they assured me it wouldn't be a problem. So now, today -i get the email, I hate to be the bearer of bad news (keeping in mind, appointment to order dresses is SATURDAY), but i can't put the money down on the dress, i have nothing. Can you charge it and i'll pay you back?

I GIVE UP!!!! My FH & I are paying for the ENTIRE WEDDING OURSELVES!!!!!!!!! We have never had a savings account before, ever and we do now and we are SOOOO proud of ourselves because of it. We're doing very well with it, saving like CRAZY, but this is just soooooo frustrating... We don't have any charge cards because we refuse to go into debt for the wedding, so there is to be NO charging and paying back...

Am I losing my mind???? I swear, I just wish I could kick them both out of the bridal party and move on... Sorry so long - i've never posted a rant before....but i feel a little better now that I got it all out!

can you talk to your inlaws about the dress? maybe they meant they'd help if it was an issue?

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Bridesmaids are 'supposed' to help with the stress not add to it.

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Posted by bemyyoko

can you talk to your inlaws about the dress? maybe they meant they'd help if it was an issue?

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Bridesmaids are 'supposed' to help with the stress not add to it.

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She said she already borrowed money from them for something else & they basically bankrolled the entire divorce.. I guess my FH could ask - but his parents and money is just not a good mix. They are not contributing a dime and are in shock that my parents aren't paying for the whole wedding..

You poor thing. This shouldnt be so stressful. At this point, I think you'd be better off with no bridesmaids. Its causing too much grief for you and this is supposed to be a happy time.

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Posted by davenjess

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Posted by bemyyoko

can you talk to your inlaws about the dress? maybe they meant they'd help if it was an issue?

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Bridesmaids are 'supposed' to help with the stress not add to it.

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She said she already borrowed money from them for something else & they basically bankrolled the entire divorce.. I guess my FH could ask - but his parents and money is just not a good mix. They are not contributing a dime and are in shock that my parents aren't paying for the whole wedding..

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Maybe if FH talks to them they can pay for half the down payment and you can front the other half so it's not as much $$.
This su cks and i'm sorry you hafta deal with it.

so sorry

wish there was something I could do or say to make it better!!

Calmmmmm down! Calm down before you call anyone! Please! Or else you'll be saying things you will regret later on.

I'm also a lawyer and believe me everyone has a hard time getting things together with me too. It's not that we are always busy, it's just that we have so much work that the one time we have to ourselves we have a difficult time doing things for others and not for ourselves. it's selfish but that's what happens when you're always stressed!!!

anyway, everything will get done! I had my best friend order my dress and pay the down payment. I met her up for coffee and gave her a check. Now the dresses are in and I made my own appt on my own time to pick it up and pay for the rest of the dress. IT WORKS OUT in the end.

Just don't make anyone think that you're bridezilla or else they will make your job a lot harder.

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Posted by DiamondPipa

Calmmmmm down! Calm down before you call anyone! Please! Or else you'll be saying things you will regret later on.

I'm also a lawyer and believe me everyone has a hard time getting things together with me too. It's not that we are always busy, it's just that we have so much work that the one time we have to ourselves we have a difficult time doing things for others and not for ourselves. it's selfish but that's what happens when you're always stressed!!!

anyway, everything will get done! I had my best friend order my dress and pay the down payment. I met her up for coffee and gave her a check. Now the dresses are in and I made my own appt on my own time to pick it up and pay for the rest of the dress. IT WORKS OUT in the end.

Just don't make anyone think that you're bridezilla or else they will make your job a lot harder.

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What's making me so angry is that i couldn't be any less of a bridezilla - i've asked these girls for NOTHING. I gave them a color and dress designer - they are free to pick out whatever dress they feel the best in. I told them i don't care how their hair is or what shoes they wear. I only want them to be comfortable and feel amazingly beautiful on that day.

I'm just at such a loss...i was MOH in my best friends' wedding last year and it was VERY pricey and I had no savings, no cc, nothing...but i made it work and not one time did i say a WORD to her...i'd vent to my friends and blah blah, but the bride never heard a PEEP from me...

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Posted by Nelly

I am so sorry to hear that. Have you spoken with FH about it. Since they are his sisters maybe he can speak to them. As far as the money for the dress I think FH should explain to FSIL that although you guys would love to lend her the money unfortunately right now you dont have the funds to do so.

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The lawyer is my sister in law, my brothers' wife. I'm not as upset with her honestly - she tried on the dress she picked a few months back and at least she's making an effort...

If we don't lend her the money - we can't order the dresses... The place told me it takes 4 months for the dresses to come in - putting us at Christmas time if we wait...(next chance to get everyone together is August 18th). I'm NOT okay with that either...

I emailed FH about it, get his opinion. I didn't even want to call and tell him this...

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Posted by davenjess

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Posted by DiamondPipa

Calmmmmm down! Calm down before you call anyone! Please! Or else you'll be saying things you will regret later on.

I'm also a lawyer and believe me everyone has a hard time getting things together with me too. It's not that we are always busy, it's just that we have so much work that the one time we have to ourselves we have a difficult time doing things for others and not for ourselves. it's selfish but that's what happens when you're always stressed!!!

anyway, everything will get done! I had my best friend order my dress and pay the down payment. I met her up for coffee and gave her a check. Now the dresses are in and I made my own appt on my own time to pick it up and pay for the rest of the dress. IT WORKS OUT in the end.

Just don't make anyone think that you're bridezilla or else they will make your job a lot harder.

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What's making me so angry is that i couldn't be any less of a bridezilla - i've asked these girls for NOTHING. I gave them a color and dress designer - they are free to pick out whatever dress they feel the best in. I told them i don't care how their hair is or what shoes they wear. I only want them to be comfortable and feel amazingly beautiful on that day.

I'm just at such a loss...i was MOH in my best friends' wedding last year and it was VERY pricey and I had no savings, no cc, nothing...but i made it work and not one time did i say a WORD to her...i'd vent to my friends and blah blah, but the bride never heard a PEEP from me...

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i'm so sorry

I hope everything works out. You should be supported by your bp, and they should keep you sane not drive you insane!

End result....

We put down the deposit for his sisters' dress & my brothers' wife - she hasn't called into the store yet with her measurements....SHOCKER. She's too busy to take the two minutes to measure herself.

If she doesn't call them in before they leave for vacation on Thursday - the order goes in and i'm considering taking her out of the bridal party...

Am i being harsh????

I swear - between this and his mom - i can't handle much more...