Maybe I am overreacting but one of my BM's tells me yesterday that shes going away for THREE WEEKS in August.... umm hi im getting married in September....
To top it off, she said it to me like 3 times, totally stressing that she will be gone almost 'THE ENTIRE MONTH OF AUGUST'... How would you girls react?? I was like 'Oh thats sooo great I am soo happy for you, you will have an awesome time!!' because I was in total shock.
Would this bother any of you?
boobobunny
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM VENT - HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
as long as she has time to get fitted for her dress...then i wouldn't worry about it. there is always one bridesmaid in every group that makes things difficult...i've learned to just take it with a grain of salt
brooklynbridezilla
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM VENT - HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
It sounds like she is trying to tell you she won't be available for last minute things like your shower and bachelorette party. Honestly, that wouldn't bother me- I don't expect people to plan their trips around my wedding. I would just ask her to make sure her dress, shoes, hair/makeup are settled before she leaves- she did make a commitment to be a BM for your wedding.
Mrs_B
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM VENT - HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
Posted by brooklynbridezilla
It sounds like she is trying to tell you she won't be available for last minute things like your shower and bachelorette party. Honestly, that wouldn't bother me- I don't expect people to plan their trips around my wedding. I would just ask her to make sure her dress, shoes, hair/makeup are settled before she leaves- she did make a commitment to be a BM for your wedding.
I guess you are right. I just think its kinda messed up though considering when we first got engaged all she talked about what my bachelorette party (which, mind you, we are doing co-ed) but at the time she didnt know that. Im just starting to get the feeling after several conversations with her that she just doesnt give a crap about my wedding and it really bothers me. Theres alot more to it that id rather not get into on this post but I just think its not right.
LilyOfValley
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM VENT - HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
It wouldn't bother me much as long as she had her fitting scheduled etc.
brooklynbridezilla
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM VENT - HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
Posted by Future_Mrs_B
Posted by brooklynbridezilla
It sounds like she is trying to tell you she won't be available for last minute things like your shower and bachelorette party. Honestly, that wouldn't bother me- I don't expect people to plan their trips around my wedding. I would just ask her to make sure her dress, shoes, hair/makeup are settled before she leaves- she did make a commitment to be a BM for your wedding.
I guess you are right. I just think its kinda messed up though considering when we first got engaged all she talked about what my bachelorette party (which, mind you, we are doing co-ed) but at the time she didnt know that. Im just starting to get the feeling after several conversations with her that she just doesnt give a crap about my wedding and it really bothers me. Theres alot more to it that id rather not get into on this post but I just think its not right.
ChrissynRicky
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM VENT - HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
I wouldn't be bothered at all. She has her own life too, and her own plans. As long as she makes all the fittings and participates as much as she can, that's all she needs to do. A brawl broke out between me and my FI's friends' FI b/c she gave me '$hit' about going to Vegas the weekend of her EParty. Hello! My world doesn't revolve around her perfect idea of an EParty and wedding for that matter. She expected me to change my plans for her EParty!
nov04LIbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM VENT - HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
I read an article that said choose your bridal party based on who you want standing next to you on your wedding day. Expect nothing more from them.
I chose my bridal party because they were the people who in 20 years I know I will still be closest to. My MOH didn't plan a bachelorette party, and was not involved in the planning of my shower. But she is still my best friend. Objectively, I don't know how we as brides can really even imagine most friends would care about the little details (or big ones for that matter) of our weddings. It's your day, not hers. If she is a teacher (or even another profession) and choose her vaca. for her own reasons, be happy for her that she is getting to go away. JMO, but I think if people expected less from the bridal party there would be happier brides out there.
nferrandi
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM VENT - HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
I don't think you should be too upset. If she's going away for three weeks, it's probably a great trip and you should be a tad more understanding.
JimmysBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM VENT - HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
I wouldn't make too big a deal out of it. I had one BM go on vacation also the month before the wedding -- conveniently missing the bachelorette party and messing up other plans too. Plus I had TWO bridesmaids move to Florida 3 months and 2 months before the wedding (both moves were sudden and unplanned). But what can you do? You can't really expect people to put their lives on hold for your wedding. Wish her a good time and don't worry - I'm sure she'll get everything done in time for the wedding.
liwinebride
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM VENT - HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
I guess I am in the minority as I would feel a little hurt. That's not to say I wouldn't understand but I usually do plan my vacations and the like around a close friends pre-wedding and wedding events even when I am not in the wedding party. Its not something to lose a friend over but I can understand feeling a little upset.
Mrs. dleeny
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM VENT - HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
Posted by Future_Mrs_B
Maybe I am overreacting but one of my BM's tells me yesterday that shes going away for THREE WEEKS in August.... umm hi im getting married in September....
To top it off, she said it to me like 3 times, totally stressing that she will be gone almost 'THE ENTIRE MONTH OF AUGUST'... How would you girls react?? I was like 'Oh thats sooo great I am soo happy for you, you will have an awesome time!!' because I was in total shock.
Would this bother any of you?
well, your wedding is 9/17... so she will be back several weeks before your wedding.
Hmmm, I was just thinking, maybe she's not actually going away for the whole 3 weeks and they're planning your shower to fall during that time just to throw you off? something to consider.
Mrs_B
Posted:
Member since
Re: BM VENT - HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
Posted by dleeny
Posted by Future_Mrs_B
Maybe I am overreacting but one of my BM's tells me yesterday that shes going away for THREE WEEKS in August.... umm hi im getting married in September....
To top it off, she said it to me like 3 times, totally stressing that she will be gone almost 'THE ENTIRE MONTH OF AUGUST'... How would you girls react?? I was like 'Oh thats sooo great I am soo happy for you, you will have an awesome time!!' because I was in total shock.
Would this bother any of you?
well, your wedding is 9/17... so she will be back several weeks before your wedding.
Hmmm, I was just thinking, maybe she's not actually going away for the whole 3 weeks and they're planning your shower to fall during that time just to throw you off? something to consider.
i did think that but my 2 MOH's are my sisters and they havent been in contact with her (i know this because no one asked for her #) so i know thats not the issue here unfortunately LOL
