So, I tried to be nice about it and told the girls they cold pick out any dress they wanted, I just wanted to pick out the color. I also said that they could all (3) have different dresses, all have the same, or MOH different with 2 BM's the same as each other. Went shopping with MOH and 1 BM because 2nd BM lives out of state. BM1 and MOH loved the same dress. BM2 just txtd me to say she just went and tried on the dress and hates it on her body. So now that means either starting all over again or asking MOH of BM1 to change dresses. (BM1 is pregnant but will have given birth by the day of the wedding - she was measured for that dress before she was showing and was planning on ordering a size or 2 larger, just to be safe.) I feel like just saying 'too bad, just get the dress' but don't want anyone (BM2) to be unhappy. This has been the most stressful part of planning my wedding. Part of me just wants to say forget it, no BM's at all! (thanks - just needed to vent )
ourwedding9510
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Re: BM's dresses. . AARRGG!!!
Maybe you can come up with a compromise. Your MOH is going to have a different dress then the other 2 girls right? Why not give the other 2 girls the material, color, and designer and tell them to go pick a dress, or ever just tell BM2 to go pick another dress with the color, fabric, and designer BM1 has? Then the MOH can wear the dress that was picked out for her in a different shade of the color or add a ribbon or something around it.
Ok, this is hard to explain so I'll just explain what I did. I had a black and white wedding. I saw what my SIL went through trying to find a BM dress that she loved and would look good on the girls. To make everyone happy (since there is always ONE girl who will complain) I just told them 'black dresses, satin, and Bill Levkoff'. They all picked out great dresses. For my 2 MOHs I had them wear black and white to be different then the girls. Here's a picture to describe it better.
It's an option if you are just trying to make everyone happy and don't want to hear it. With everything else going on with the wedding I couldn't be bothered with girl stuff and drama. If you want the dresses picked out just tell her 'I'm sorry, you don't like it, send me a picture and maybe I'll be able to see what you're talking about'. If she's just being silly, tell her 'you look find, order the dress'. Some people are just difficult.
I have 3 bm and my MOH and i told them the same exact thing! I warned them in advance though (mainly only the 3 bm bc the MOH will be in a diff dress) that they either all agree or they get 3 diff dresses. I hate to say it, but if one isnt happy with the dress the other two like, you need to make the other two pick out something else. I know its hard to do but its not fair otherwise. Its kind of like saying...well i value their opinions/likes more than yours. I would say let the MOH keep the one she likes and have the BM pick another dress. You can tell them you decided that you want the MOH to stand out in a diff dress. If YOU were to pick out a dress for the three of them that is another story but if they went out and picked it on their own they need to change it up. There are a TON of dresses out there, they should easily be able to find something different (but similar that they will be happy).
BellaRegina
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Re: BM's dresses. . AARRGG!!!
Maybe i'm just a tad selfish, but i'm not giving my girls a say in which dress they are getting. Of course we will look at pictures together and go get fitting etc etc....but when said and done, I will be choosing what they were. I feel that when you give people too much freedom, it just creates headache. My MOHs (i have two) are probably gona be in different dresses, but i have 7 BMs and it would just be WAY too much of a headache to try to get them to pic something that they ALL like. Sorry your having a headache, hope it works out
Elsalvitalian
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Re: BM's dresses. . AARRGG!!!
OMG!!! I thought I was the only one who had this issue! I have 5 BM's and 1 MOH. I told all of them that they could choose whatever dress they wanted as long as it was the same color. My MOH was going to wear a completely different dress. 3 out of the 5 BM's all chose the same dress, BM #4 didn't care either way so she too picked the same one to make it easy. THERE'S ALWAYS ONE!!! First, she clearly chose another dress because she did not want to be the same as the others, and every single one that was chosen she did not like. I think she was upset because she was not chosen as the MOH. I set up appts with all of them to try on dresses and different locations and she never made an effort to go. So in the end, I stuck with the other BM's choices and simply gave her a date and said these are the dresses that have been chosen, we are ordering them from this place and they must be ordered by this date. She actually went to get measured but not before she called to tell me that she thought I should change my colors and that the dresses looked as if they were prom dresses. Whatever!!! I just have to let it go. Don't want to cause family drama or just plain drama in general, over this. I look at it this way... In the end the pics with the bridal party are few. Just as long as I get married, have the memories in pics and video to cherish forever and enjoy my new life with my husband.
SORRY ??!!! I sort of vented too!
Watermelon5
Posted:
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Re: BM's dresses. . AARRGG!!!
I was initially planning to do this until some random lady at the nail salon (aka an angel sent from God ) warned me not to bc of exactly this! I reevaluated my position and although had initially thrown it out there to them that they could pick the style (not color or fabric) I def have changed my mind so I just sent them all a link to a dress and was like, this is it! LOL No one cared quite honestly and I'm happy I did it bc I LOVEEEEEE my girls but some of them have questionable tast LMAO! Maybe just be honest and say that you though this would make things easier but in fact it is having the opposite effect and you think it would be best if everyone just wore the same thing. OR be like if you guys cant agree I will just pick it out so that its fair. Sorry you have to deal!!!! Good luck!!!
b2b2013
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Re: BM's dresses. . AARRGG!!!
It really is so stressful! I have 4 sisters and my BF is my MOH and my sisters are SO particular. The second they found out I was engaged they started looking at dresses. I said I wanted lilac, 2 of them hated it. So now I'm doing peach and a purple color and now they hate the chiffon.... I finally told them if they don't like it TOO BAD!!! They should wear what you want them to wear because it's your day!
pixietina
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Re: BM's dresses. . AARRGG!!!
Having the same problem and we have not even physically gone dress shopping. I am having a hard time just looking at pictures with them.
PeaceLoveWedding
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Re: BM's dresses. . AARRGG!!!
Originally I was a very relaxed bride and thought I 'd let the girls pick the dress. I want them all in the same dress. After the first trip, my view took a 180 because it's near impossible for everyone (I have 8) to like the same dress. My MOH is very vocal and everyone else just says they like whatever. On our second trip, there were only 3 girls there, I had them pick dresses and then I picked my favorite out of the ones they picked.
I went hunting for a wedding gown and the woman there told me not to let the BM's take over my wedding. Ever since then, I've been trying to do that, remember it's my day and they're my friends who want me to be happy so they shouldn't mind what dress I put them in, as long as it's not hideous.
Good luck
Irishbride16
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Re: BM's dresses. . AARRGG!!!
Oh man ..I'm sorry u have to go though that ..when I was in my friends wedding the picked out the dress and I didn't care bc its there wedding and I'm only wearing it for a day ..your friends has to realize ..don't let this stress u out ...I would try to get them all together and talk about the problem ..
JLWSJC
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Re: BM's dresses. . AARRGG!!!
I originally was going to let everyone pick their dress too... but I wanted taffeta and I wasn't seeing any dresses i liked at all, so I know no one was going to find a designer with SIX dresses I liked in conrflower blue taffeta, so I changed my mind.
Moral of the story is... it's your day and your prerogative to change your mind. Oull ranks and tell them to all get the same dress. If MOH wants a different dress, fine, but be the boss and pick the ulitmate dress. It's your wedding.
green_tea
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Re: BM's dresses. . AARRGG!!!
maybe i am crazy but the most important thing to me is that my girls are comfortable on my wedding day- after all, these are my best friends and the bridesmaids do a LOT to help the bride.. why would i want them to be self-conscious about their dress when they should be having a great time? my point is, try not to stress about it too much! your wedding will be beautiful no matter what anyone else wears.
