I found out on facebook that my bm is almost 3 months pregnant which would make her being her 9th at the wedding. She is my little cousin, who is unmarried, not engaged and just started seriously seeing the father of her child. She only has a part time job and to be honest she had issues as a bm to begin with but I keep her in because she's family. Now, I just feel like she will not be able to the things I want her to do as bms due to her situation and additionally, I feel she should focus on her baby. I told her she can participate in as many events as she is comfortable with but as far as being a bms at 9 months pregnant .... no. Her dress will not fit at all and the dresses we order are not even the kind that can be alter to a pregnant belly. I feel bad because she's like a sister to me but she hasn't been responding to the other people in the bp about the shower or the bachelorette party. I told her I would pay for her dress and if she was up to it ... she could do a reading. I feel guilty but I know this would be an issue in the long run.
anjelagain
Posted:
Member since
Re: BP Drama
maybe shes not answering because shes busy being pregnant and figuring out what shes gonna do etc. Im sure shes going to drop out of the wedding, theres no need to ask her just give her time to do it first.
mybabylovesmoi
Posted:
Member since
Re: BP Drama
she sounds like she is immature and her age probably has a lot to do with that. And I think your concerns are perfectly valid and you are nice enough to offer to pay for her dress.
I would gently tell her everything you said here and give her an out. It's one thing if she was a great BM till now, then it'd be unfair to boot her because she's pregnant. But if she has been slacking as it is, just tell her that a baby is more important and she needs to get things straightened out before the baby comes.
sidenote - one my bms got engaged vday weekend and I'm going to be a BM in her sep 2012 wedding...I'm already trying to calculate when I should get pregnant!!
I don't want to be too pregnant by the time her wedding rolls around that I will be extremely uncomfortable but I also don't want to have the baby too soon before the wedding.
That means I have to have like a honeymoon baby
FH of course thinks I'm crazy to be calculating this but I want to be there for her as best as I can!
smilesjc81
Posted:
Member since
Re: BP Drama
i say ask her to step down officially
tell her YOU want her to focus on her baby and not worrying about your wedding
ask her to do a reading if she feels up to it
make it seem like you are really just thinking about whats best for her
you dont want her taking on the financial burden this wedding will entail
SimHawk8
Posted:
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Re: BP Drama
I just don't want her to be upset. Plus I don't want her to feel I am not there for her. I truly think that her prior should be this baby and how she is going to support herself and a baby.
Tomsbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: BP Drama
I think you should give her the option and pose it more that you are looking out for her best interest.
Otherwise, keep her and if she doesn't pitch in for things she doesn't pitch in. I don't think there's much you can do but you def. don't want drama.
JessNicole7EM
Posted:
Member since
Re: BP Drama
Give her an option.. otherwise she'll always remember you kicked her out of your BP because she had a baby.
