Bridal Parties

Bridal Parties

Do any of you feel as if NONE of your BM's or MOH care about your wedding AT ALL????

My MOH could care less about our wedding. She has done absolutely nothing and has shown no care about being involved in anything. My bridesmaids are somewhat involved but only when asked to be. The funny part is that the one bridesmaid that is willing to be 100% involved is not even my close friend-she's my FBIL's girlfriend. I included her out of respect for him and because she's a great girl. FH and I have done all the planning-we're not expecting them to do any of that but it would be nice for them to seem interested.
Are any of you feeling this way? Times like this, I wish I had a sister! My best friend is a guy and my FH put him in his BP. Should I just not have a BP?

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That stinks...sometimes I feel like one of my BM is doing what the MOH should be doing...she is always calling asking if I need help (my e-party is Sunday)....drama drama!

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on the same boat as well. ive stopped asking for help i just go it on my own now.

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I feel your pain. It's like do I even have BMS? Do they even care? The only one who is awesome is my MOH (my sister). But my best friend for 18 years doesn't even care, doesn't ask if I need help, didn't even say congrats for a quite while. Maybe they just need to get over their own issues and be happy and helpful for their friends.

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Oooh I hear your pain!!! I have (had) a BP of nine girls -

BM1 dropped out - after getting her dress and the bridal shower - citing financial problems... but her DH is in the BP too.

My Maid (BM2) and Matron (BM3) of honor have done jack sh*t throughout the entire thing - except for throwing a Bridal Shower (of which they didn't pay for) in which only 16 people showed (out of 60 invited) without mentioning the possibility of maybe getting more women to invite... because the Matron OH decided to move AFTER the invites were sent out with her OLD PHONE NUMBER on it...

Another BM (BM4) hasn't involved herself in anything - except to make things difficult when trying to get potential dates for the (then) Bridal Shower, the Bach party and to get the girls together to pick out dresses... her (BM4s) excuses 1: 'I'm trying to lose weight',
2: 'DH and I are trying to get pregnant',
3: 'We're going to be closing on our house that weekend'
4: 'we might me moving that weekend' - the best part of no.3 & 4... they aren't even looking for a house!!!

BMs 5, 6, & 7: they sit back and wait... they show up when they're needed... which... in MO - is helpful too!

jrBM - her parents pulled her out AFTER ordering and receiving her dress - WHY??? 'cuz her other TWO sisters weren't in the BP... they knew that since last JUNE!!!

However, BM9 - my FH's friend, has been a GOD SEND!!!! She and I have become so close in the last year and a half... thanks to her - I haven't gone completely insane (tho that's debatable with this post :) )

SO YES!!! I DEFINITELY FEEL FOR YOU!!!
but NO! You should have a BP... even if it's only two girls (your FBIL g/f and one other friend)... just double up your guys on your girls and it'll be great!!!
In the end - just remember those who were there for you and show them how much you appreciate her... My FH and I bought BM9 (his friend) a piece of jewelry with her favorite stone... just to say THANKS!!! a bit more than the other P.I.T.A.'s

SORRY this is sooo long - I think this just made me break thru that nagging feeling I've been having lately!!!
THANKS!

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I had to kick my sister out of the bridal party because she could NOT handle something NOT being about her for one day! My MOH has helped me a lot but FH and I notice that the closer it gets to the date, she seems a little jealous my other bm....forget it, she probably doesnt even know when the wedding is!!!! I can not wait until this is over! The only one I plan on speaking to is my moh after its over!

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For me - it's my MOH & my FRIEND Bridesmaid that are helpful. The two REQUIRED members have been a headache and a half. My brothers' wife & my FUTURE Sister in law. I wish I didn't have to ask either of them.

Bro's wife - is a lawyer in a huge law firm and has no time for ANYTHING.. I do understand to a point - but pretend to care - just once a month..pretend...

FSIL - just finished up with a nasty divorve, is selling her house, moving into another & feels that she is the most important person on the planet. Could not possibly care less about her brother or the fact that we're getting married...

I had no choice but to ask them to be in the bridal party..

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I have great girls and about 6 of the 9 have had a meltdown at one point or another. Whenever that happens I remember the best advice i got when i got engaged. Whenever someone can't be happy for you, it's their deal and let them own it. So whatever drama I get is their own and I try not to engage them. Even my gay best male friend who is one of our groomsmen had a melt down. It just a lot of change for everyone and the best thing to do is try to ignore it - if possible. If they start pulling crazy stuff - like trying to wreck happy moments - just kick them to the curb with a wave and a 'it was nice knowing you' !

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Dont have a BP, makes it less stressful on you, lol.

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i feel ur pain... 2 of my bridesmaids show more interest than one of my maids of honor... some people just cant handle the fact that something is not about them... pure drama queens!!

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Thhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaankkkkk you all so much for your responses!!! You have no clue how much it helped. For a while, I was starting to think that I just had chose BM's and MOH OR that I was asking for too much.

My FH and I have done all the planning. Which I don't mind at all. But every time I call my MOH to share something we're doing, she sighs and says things like 'why are you guys doing that' or 'such a waste of money' etc... Always negative and nothing positive. I'm really sucky at confrontation but when I asked her to get fitted for her dress, she seemed annoyed that she had to travel all the way (20 mins) to get fitted. So I finally said something (yesterday) and she broke down and said its because she is divorced and has a bad taste for marriage and she doesnt understand what I want her to do, she and her ex hubby did it all themselves. I explained to her that I just wanted her to seem a tiny bit excited instead of being so negative about everything. Sometimes I feel that I should have picked my FBIL's girlfriend, who I have only known a year and who is not even a close close friend, because she is SOOOO much more interested in being part of things. Oh well, I'm done ranting!

Thanks again! I really appreciate all of your help!

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I completely agree..I have had the same issue with some of my girls. One of them lives in FL and it seems as though she forgot I'm getting married!!

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A lot of my girls were the same way...my mom just kept telling me to remind myself that they're just in a different place than you, and that when it's their day someday, they'll understand. And it's totally true...its not anything intentional or personal on their part - they just have a different mindset & have other subconcious priorities. Dont worry - the day of ur wedding they'll be so excited & u'll have the best day. I know it's a pain & sometimes dissappointing, but just remind urself that they don't mean it & someday they'll understand!

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If I could go back in time, I would have no bridal party. All they do is add to the stress. All I hear is complaints and B*tching all day everyday. I feel your pain.

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I'm sorry you're feeling like that. I bet as you get closer they will get more and more excited. Just hang in there

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sorry to hear that my MOH my sister is great as well as two of the brides maids the other two i have seen twice since i have been engaged and thats been over a year so i feel your pain i am acutally thinking about taking back asking them but you cant do that can you?

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there's really very few things i think BM's can help you with at this point. most of the things you're looking into now is booking vendors and such. i'm sure when it comes closer to the wedding day (within months of it) there's definitely going to be a lot more stuff to get done, like helping to put together favors, calling vendors to check in, verifying info and stuff.

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yeah sometimes I feel that way.