Bridal party dilemmas... (long)

I'm afraid my BP is going to grow out of control. Right now I have 13 people including FG,RB, BM, & MOH. But I still have 3 other BMs I might really want to ask, which means 3 more GMs and possibly one more RB & FG. Which would bring the BP size excluding us to 21 !!

The other BMs I'm thinking of asking are - FH other sister (who I don't get along with as well as the sis I already asked (and neither does FH for that matter) but I think it would be appropriate to have her since she IS FH's sister. I would actually like to have her as a BM - minus her drama queenie-ness.

Next is my cousin who's wedding I was a BM in 2 yrs ago. We've gotten very close since then, she is also my MOH's sister and we all grew up together. She's PG now and is due in May. She already has a 2 yr old and we are definitely asking her husband to be a GM. See the issues?

Last is mutual friend of mine and all the BMs that used to be part of our 'clique' growing up. She distanced herself from us a long time ago but lately she's been making a comeback. We all have tons of great memories together and I think I might regret not having her be a BM when I look back on my wedding pics years from now.

Who do you ladies think I should cut from that list of three - if any??? I'm so torn! Then again how much more will it really cost me to have a 21 person BP as opposed to a 13 - 15 person BP? I've always wanted a big BP so that's not the issue, it's the money - flowers, gifts, bigger limos, etc.

OK. I have a question, are you having the ceremony in a church or having a traditional christian wedding? You don't have to respond, but if so then you can ask the other people to do a reading or bring the gifts to the Altar (in a full Mass.)

If not, then you can have someone read a poem or sing during your ceremony, which is also a nice way to get someone involved in a special way.

I knwo it is hard...we had the same issue when we began planning. Essentially we had to make a decision whether or not we could afford all of the extra people. IN the end, we couldn't & since we are paying for everything ourselves, the choice was already made for us.

However, the readers are very actively involved with our BP in the planning & were very honored to have such an important job!
One of our readers actually offered to get a limo for himself & extended the invite to the other two!

I would only invite people I am close with to be in the BP not because I think I should. If you and your FH do not have a good relationship with his sister, do you really want her standing there beside you?

(DH & I have the exact same thing with his sister and she was not asked to be in the BP).

Also, you do not have to have an even bp so if you invite 3 more girls, you don't have to invite 3 more boys.

Like hearzbells said, you could invite them to do other things in the wedding AND still treat them the same as the others. Why can't they be in the limo with you or go to the bridal luncheon? They are still part of the wedding ceremony.

I'm having 11 girls.
I can't even talk about it.

I think it is your decision but I do understand your money dilemma and it may not seem like big difference but another 6 people do make a difference
Thats another limo (or an SUV) $350+-
Gifts (6 people at $40) $240
Flowers estimate $200

This is just a rough estimate but If you lay it out like that it may help. MY FSIL does say that if she had it to do all over she would have a larger BP, however my SIL wishes they had a smaller one wth the people who really meant tht most to them not everythign they thought 'they had to have'

Good Luck

In our wedding party there are:

1 maid of honor
9 bridesmaids
2 junior bridesmaids
1 flower girl

2 best men
11 groomsment
2 ring bearers

So that totals-28! not including FH and myself.

It is digging a hole in our pockets, because we have to get such a large limo, flowers, and the bridal party gifts. It depends on how much you want to spend on them. We are obviously doing less money because we have so many people.

But in the end, we will have everyone we love in our pictures and our memories!

It is a personal preferance, but whatever your decision is, it won't be wrong!!

We're having 8 BMs, 8 GMs, an FG and a Jr. GM. That makes 20 including FH and I.

It's a bit much, but I love my girls!

It's perfectly okay NOT to have an even BP - we almost had an uneven one (then FH added one last GM).

I'd only add people you REALLY want up there with you - leave the other sister out.

you have FM!! I had 20 including DH and I!!