Originally FH and I were going to have a family-only bridal party. The majority would be from his side since he is one of 6 kids. I didn't have a problem with this. We haven't formally asked anyone yet.
Now he's thinking he only wants his 2 brothers as his 'Best Men' and I should only have my sister as MOH. We'll have his nieces and nephew as FG/RB.
Do you think his sisters and brother in law (who his is very close to) will be offended that they weren't asked? 2 of his sisters are married and he was in both of their weddings...but he thinks they would prefer to be guests and will be relieved no to be in the BP.
Should we just not ask them...or say that while we did want them, this might be easier?? I just don't want to rock the boat with FIL's...
JenBill61210
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
IMO i would ask them. I wouldn't be able to pick just one of my siblings and not the other.
RedsBride
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
If it were me, I would ask them just cuz I would feel bad leaving them out. But you also have to consider that it's his sisters who will be bridesmaids. It's not like it's more people on 'his side' of the bridal party if you know what I mean. I'd think about it more. You have time. And maybe you could talk about it with your parents and fh's parents to get some more input.
JACK808
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
I would ask his sisters how they feel. I am one of 7, and 5 of my siblings are considerably older than me with families of their own. They did prefer to be guests, and only my younger sister was in my wedding party, as my MOH. My nieces and nephews who were old enough to participate were also included.
stinenandy2010
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
We were in a similar situation. Fh has a brother and sister, each are married with kids. We only asked his brother to be in the wedding. However, we are incorporating all 5 of his nephews (3 are his brothers, 2 are his sisters) We spoke about it with his sister first, and she is 33 and said she is so over the bridesmaid thing. So in our case it worked out.
I would suggest doing something similar. Discuss it with his brother/sister, whoever is being left out. If there older they may not want to be a part of it.
mosh424
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
I personally would ask them to do readings or something else to make them feel apart of the wedding
MrsList09
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
You could always sit down and talk to them and say you would love to have them but understand if they'd rather be guests. Then at least they have the option. It sounds like FH just doesn't want to inconvenience them so giving them the option at least elminates hard feeligs.
RitasEngaged
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
Posted by JenBill61210
IMO i would ask them. I wouldn't be able to pick just one of my siblings and not the other.
ITA - I am one of 7 and all of them are in my BP
Nurse12985
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
My brother and his wife aren't in my wedding because they have two little girls in my wedding its alot for them. on the other hand my FSIL has four little boys and demanded to be a bridesmaid (Im not asking her though)
So you need to get a feel for where they stand. Some people rather not be in the wedding.
RitasEngaged
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
Posted by Nurse12985
My brother and his wife aren't in my wedding because they have two little girls in my wedding its alot for them. on the other hand my FSIL has four little boys and demanded to be a bridesmaid (Im not asking her though)
So you need to get a feel for where they stand. Some people rather not be in the wedding.
I also agree with Jessica on this point as well.
Nitania13
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
I would DEFINITELY ask them all to be in it. My brother initially didn't ask me to be in it (my other brother was the Best Man) and I was crushed. I didn't say anything, but my mom told me in confidence that she was shocked and disappointed, but we agreed to keep quiet so as to not make waives. Then my other brother said the same thing on his own and asked me if I was alright. I told him that I didnt want anything said b/c I didn't want to be an addendum. He told me that my brother had a right to know and told him. LOOONNNNGGG story short, he asked me to be in it later. I initially said no b/c I didn't want to be an addendum, but finally agreed b/c they KEPT asking and that became more embarrassing than being an addendum. I say ASK! To not include siblings that you're close to for frivolous reasons is silly. Especially, when you consider that it could deeply hurt them. IMO it's just not worth hurting ppl you love for frivolity.
FallBride2010
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
My opinion is going to be so different, because I truly believe it is YOUR wedding and you should do what makes you happiest. Since they arent your sisters, I dont think you have an obligation to include them, especially when there are so many.
Are you close with his family? I am not including FH's sister...and have gotten alot of sh't from people for my decision. But we arent close...she doesnt even really like me...and I want to be surrounded by the people closest to me on that day.
I think you should do what is right for you...and not what names everyone else happy. However, I wouldnt include 1 0r 2 and leave out the others. Either include them all...or include none of them : )
christophersgirl
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
i made the mistake of asking someone to be a BM because i knew 'SHE' was expecting it and i didn't want to make her feel bad, and i've regretted that decision, so my advice is to really just ask those you feel close to...like others have pointed out, they're not YOUR sisters so you shouldn't feel obligated to ask them, but if you would like to include them, just ask them and let them know its up to them if they want to participate so they don't feel bad about declining and you don't feel pressured about having to take them on...
christine2010
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
my brother & SIL are not in our bridal party because there 3 kids will be included. it sounds to me like you are doing just MOH & Best men. which is totally ok. its not like you asking other people in place of them. i think the best thing to do is have a sit down with the people & talk it out with them. you would be suprised to find out how many people are over the whole bridesmaid thing. especially if they have young kids who will be included.
DnT2010
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
i would simply ask them if they would like to be in it or not. leave it up to them.
CloudNine
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Re: Bridal Party - Leaving out siblings
well you said that he THINKS they woudl PREFER to be guests.
i would talk to them...something along the lines of 'we were thinking of asking you but we thought maybe you would prefer to be a guest but then again you may want to be in the BP so we're leaving it up to you'
