Bridal Party Questions--- long sorry!

So FH and I have been talking about several things that we need to do before we start planning, like making a guest list so we have an approx. number of people and deciding who should be in our bridal party... this raised some questions that I was hoping you ladies could help us with! Sorry there are so many questions! I meant to ask like 3 but more kept popping up!!!! TIA

-When do you ask your BP? before you start planning or after you pick a date? I don't know when to ask. FH has his best man already but hasn't asked anyone else yet.

-my friend got married a few years ago, and we were best friends in HS. WE have grown apart since and I don't really see her very much anymore. She asked me to be in her wedding (she had a very small bridal party), and of course I said yes. Should I feel obligated to ask her?

-I was MOH for my sister's wedding in May (it was only me). She's married now and she's my only sister, would she be my maid of honor? Or matron of honor? Do I need a maid of honor also?

-One of my best friends has been in SO many weddings. It's a running joke within our group that she's 'always a bridesmaid...' I know it's a lot of stress for her since she has been in so many weddings, last summer she was in like 4 weddings. I don't want her to feel obligated to say yes, but I really want her in my BP. I just don't want her to think, 'great another wedding!' I know that when she gets married she will prob just have her sisters (she has 2 sisters), because she won't want anyone to feel like she did. Thoughts?

-What do you guys feel about having a large bridal party as opposed to a small BP? I have always wanted one on the larger side (at least 6), since I have so many close friends who I would want to be involved. but FH is saying maybe we should keep it small. Pros? Cons?

I can give my opinions on some of these.

As for asking the BP I would wait...a lot of girls on here said they wished they had waited because friendships changed and you may meet new people that you are close with. I have 15 months til my wedding and have not picked anyone except my flower girl and JRBMs. On the other hand FH has asked all his people already

If you sister is married she would be you Matron of Honor and no you do not need a MOH as well unless you want too.

-When do you ask your BP?
If you are up in the air about who you want at this point, I would hold off a little while before asking. You don't really need to know your WP to start planning things. Really sit down with FH, decide if you want a small intimate WP or you want to have a huge WP. From there, you can decided who you would like to be your BMs.

- Should I feel obligated to ask her?
Just because you were in someone else's BP does not mean you are obligated to have them in yours. I was in a BP about a year ago and when I got engaged I think the bride thought she would be in mine, but I kinda of made it clear in my own way that I did not want a huge BP and the girls in my BP are mostly family (2 cousins, FSIL and my 2 best friends who I have been friends with forever and are like my sisters). She never bought anything up to me about it but I could tell she was thinking 'Why am I not in?' but there really isn't anything she can say. If you guys have grown apart, I really see no need for you to explain yourself about not having her in the BP.

-I was MOH for my sister's wedding in May (it was only me). She's married now and she's my only sister, would she be my maid of honor? Or matron of honor? Do I need a maid of honor also?
Your sister would be the Matron of Honor since she is married. As far as having a Maid of Honor, you can have one if you want but it's not necessary. My on BFF is my Matron of Honor because she's and my other BFF is my Maid of Honor.

-When do you ask your BP?

For me, I picked out my date before I asked my girls. I had a feeling that if I did it before I picked a date, then they all would be asking me' So when is it, I need to plan around it' blah blah blah so I picked it out before. Good thing I did bc one of my FH cousins is having her committment ceremony 2 weeks after my wedding, and her sister is my bridesmaid. She needed to plan for both since it is going to be a rough year for her finanically.




-my friend got married a few years ago, and we were best friends in HS. Should I feel obligated to ask her?

This is YOUR day. If you don't really keep in touch with her, then don't feel obligated to have her in. Friendships come and go, and you don't want to ask somebody to be in your wedding unless your ABSOLUTELY sure that things will be kosher between you two at the time of your big day!




-I was MOH for my sister's wedding in May (it was only me). She's married now and she's my only sister, would she be my maid of honor? Or matron of honor? Do I need a maid of honor also?

She would be your Matron of Honor because she is a married woman. Maid of honor's are unmarried. You only need one. Some people have two, but things get messy and expensive the larger your bridal party is.




-One of my best friends has been in SO many weddings. I don't want her to feel obligated to say yes, but I really want her in my BP. Thoughts?

Like I said before, it's YOUR day. If you feel strongly having her in your party, ask. No hurt in just asking. The absolute worse thing she can say is no, I can't. So no worries!!



-What do you guys feel about having a large bridal party. Pros? Cons?

Personally, I am having my maid of honor, 3 bridesmaid, and 2 junior bridesmaids. The juniors are my cousins under the age of 15 so I'm not 'really' considering them for EVERYTHING [ie bachlorette parties, 'meet n greet' party etc.]. While I'd love to have around 6-7 bridesmaids and the 2 juniors, many of my friends aren't financially able to be in my party. And I don't want to put any pressure on them to bend over backwards for me, or sacrifice anything.



I hope this helps you out!! And good luck with your planning! Now the REAL fun begins

-As everyone else has said, I'd wait a while to ask your party until you have figured out exactly who to ask. There is no rush for you at all. I waited until my wedding was about 11 months away to ask my BP.

-I think your friend from HS would understand if you both know that you've grown apart. Its your wedding, you don't want to have any regrets.

-Your sister should definitely be your matron of honor and you don't need a maid of honor as well unless you want one.

-If you are very close with the best friend thats been in so many weddings, tell her your exact feelings! You should tell her that she shouldn't be obligated to join but you'd love to have her. If you both decide that she will not be a bridesmaid, I'd let her know that she'll still be included in bachelorette party, shower, and everything else. Maybe even give her a role like handing out programs or a reading?

-I personally wanted to keep my bridal party small, even so much that my FH has more people than me (I could careless about uneven numbers). I know that I wanted to give nice BM gifts, will have to get Bo-ks for all of them, etc. so it costs to have a bigger BP. I personally think the smaller the better. The good thing about the large parties is you don't have to worry about leaving anyone out!

Good luck!

-When do you ask your BP? before you start planning or after you pick a date? I don't know when to ask. FH has his best man already but hasn't asked anyone else yet.

We asked everyone at different times. I called my bff right away and asked her to be my Maid of Honor! DH waited until like 4 months before to ask his BIL to be a GM. That was too much IMO! But you can ask at any time. I would give it a lot of thought. You can always ask someone later, taking them out once they are in is very awkward and difficult.

-my friend got married a few years ago, and we were best friends in HS. WE have grown apart since and I don't really see her very much anymore. She asked me to be in her wedding (she had a very small bridal party), and of course I said yes. Should I feel obligated to ask her?

You are not obligated to ask her. You have grown apart now and you don't see each other often.


-I was MOH for my sister's wedding in May (it was only me). She's married now and she's my only sister, would she be my maid of honor? Or matron of honor? Do I need a maid of honor also?

Since she is married she would be your Matron of Honor. You don't HAVE to have a Maid of Honor as well. You CAN have one if there is a single friend close to you that you would like as a Maid of Honor in addition to your Matron.

-One of my best friends has been in SO many weddings. It's a running joke within our group that she's 'always a bridesmaid...' I know it's a lot of stress for her since she has been in so many weddings, last summer she was in like 4 weddings. I don't want her to feel obligated to say yes, but I really want her in my BP. I just don't want her to think, 'great another wedding!' I know that when she gets married she will prob just have her sisters (she has 2 sisters), because she won't want anyone to feel like she did. Thoughts?

I would ask your friend, but I would wait a little to ask her. Or put the feelers out for what she's thinking.


-What do you guys feel about having a large bridal
party as opposed to a small BP? I have always wanted one on the larger side (at least 6), since I have so many close friends who I would want to be involved. but FH is saying maybe we should keep it small. Pros? Cons?

We had a larger bridal party and we loved it. I had a lot of girlfriends I wanted in my bridal party. The joke was DH didn't have enough friends to match up lol. This one is very subjective and it really should have most to do with how many people you are THAT close with that you would want them in your bridal party.

Good luck!!

Thanks for your advice, this was all very helpful!!!!

I asked me bp the day I got engaged... aside from my mom they were the first people that I called and told i was engaged and I asked them then to be in the BP....

One thing ive learned from my MOH being in so many weddings is that you should not ask people because you have been in theirs....

the fact that your sister is married should change if you want her to be MOH.... Technically yes she would be your Matron of Honor... and no you are not required to have a Matron and a Maid of honor... I only have Matron of Honor....

we have a very large BP... have been in small and large BP's... and ive seen drama in just about every one...so there is no right or wrong size bp... nor do you have to have it even on both sides... mine is uneven by 1