Bridal Shower D R A M A! Help Me??!! (long)

I'm so upset tonight, I feel like crying.

My 2 sisters are planning my bridal shower. I know they are in the process of looking for a nice restaurant to hold it in. I am the only sister to have a big wedding, so they are really looking forward to making it very nice.

The problem???

I found out that my future MIL & SIL are trying to convince my FH that they should just rent a hall so THEY can do all the cooking. They have apparently already offered to make favors & such, and I appreciate it. But now my sisters feel like they are trying to take over everything. They are really putting pressure on my FH. He made the mistake of telling me tonight that 'I' dictated it be in a restaurant, so my sisters are AFRAID to do anything else!!! (Poor guy...I can yell loud) I 'dictated' nothing of the sort & I don't want it to be said that I felt I'm 'too good' for a shower in a rented hall with homemade cooking. He also now says that his mother told him there will be at least 30 people from his side of the family. 30??? I don't think there are 10 people on his side of the family that would know me if they bumped into me on the street. This would now bring up the total to 60 people.

I called my sister tonight & asked her to do me a favor & just have the shower in the hall. My sister refused, she said that my sister is maid of honor & she is planning my shower & they want to give me a nice shower without having to worry about doing a lot of work themselves. My sister is absolutely NOT going to budge on this...again, as this is the only shower she will ever give to a sister, she wants it to be special. And she will tell my FH as much tomorrow & said she will also tell his mother the same...and that they will be limited to 20 people, to make a total of 50 between my family, his family & friends.

I'm afraid of how this will all work out.

Would it be wrong of me to just ask everyone to mail me a shower gift? Just kidding.

I'm sorry you're going through all of this. Can't you tell your FH that you don't want to plan any part of your shower and that whatever they work out amongst themselves is fine? I would also tell him to butt out of it (in nicer terms maybe??) because no matter what 'side' he takes he's in the middle of a losing battle. The fact of the matter is that no matter where it is it's going to be wonderful and I don't think it's fair of ANYONE to put you in the middle of it- you have enough on your plate right now!!!! Let us all know how it turns out- good luck!!!!!

maybe his mom can make the favors to feel included?

Oh jeez-

Look, it's your sister's right to plan this. She's your SISTER, and your Maid of Honor. It's a BRIDAL shower, which means that the bride's bridesmaids are in charge. Your FMIL has no right to tell you or your sister anything! I think your FMIL just wants to throw a party.

I would explain it this way -

'It would be *so* much trouble for you, and I'm the only sister that my sister is going to be able to do this for. She really wants to do it this way, and she's my Maid of honor. It would really be great if you could help her coordinate, but she's the person in charge.'

I went through a drama too.
It is so unfair- no one should get you involved (or me for mine, either)

It is supposed to be a surprise!

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Posted by Sunny

I went through a drama too.
It is so unfair- no one should get you involved (or me for mine, either)

It is supposed to be a surprise!

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I agree, no one should involve you. The planning of this shower is none of your concern. It should be a surprise and no one should complain to you.

My SIL got dragged into the middle of her planning and it was messy. Finally, her Matron and Maid of Honor both got into a fight and my mother and my SIL's mother planned and paid for the shower.

Tell everyone to leave you out of it and just make sure you look nice when they bring you to wherever it is

Good luck!

Can I tell you all that I want to cry just because I am able to talk to people like you ladies who understand?!

I love my future MIL & SIL, really. They have been really good to me. They are making the favors and I know they mean well, but I don't want my sisters made out to be 'stubborn' or 'rude' because they want to do this for me. & I know how they feel. I gave them both baby showers and made them a wonderful as possible because the are my sisters, my best friends!!

Thanks for letting me vent ladies!

Big to all!!!

Tell your sister's to play the 'We want everyone to enjoy the shower, not work it so it will be at the restaurant' angle.

I presume the MIL & SIL are not contributing financially to the shower so while their suggestion and offer are greatly appreciated, it's unnecessary.

I am sorry you got stuck in the middle of this

I agree with Sunny, this is a BRIDAL shower and I think that your FMIL
and SIL are great to want to get involved but instead they should just
get together with both your sisters and just lend kind of a supporting role
know what I mean? Instead of renting the hall, making favors and food
and on top of that decorate the hall, they should just use that money for
favors, invites or maybe whatever decoration for the tables in the restaurant
and your sisters could maybe pay for the restaurant. Like this everyone
is included and they all would be taking a part and make your shower
even BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Between all 4 of them, they could throw a spectacluar
shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish some of my BILs sisters had volunteered to help
out with my sister's shower, and two of them were in the BP!!!!
GOOD LUCK , HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS. KEEP US POSTED!!

Either
a) they need to all talk and keep you out of it, because you have more things to worry about

b) have 2 showers, one for each family.. My cousin did it,a nd it was fabulous..

good luck, girlie.. Don't stress though, everyone loves you and they all want to do everything for you.. they don't even realize there being a pain in the A$$.. good luck