Bridal shower dilema

I need a little bit of help from you ladies.

Heres my problem. I got engaged in June and one of my girlfriends got engaged in Sept. Right away she asked me to be in her wedding party and was waiting for me to ask her. When I hesitated she goes( well arnt you gonna ask me to be in yours) I didnt get back to her b/c i didnt pick what i was goin gto do yet and quite frnakly I thought it silly being that we live 7 hours away from each other, one way. She lives in Oswego ny on lake ontario. So long story short we are in eachothers wedding partys.

So now she is having her bridal shower on May 10, the day before mothers day. We agreed thay we wouldnt get eachother anything for any of our events wedding related b/c it would just be silly to do so. I also cant see driving 7 hours to go to her bridal shower. I d have to leave work early on fri and drive down right after the party on sat. I host mothers day at my place and have a lot to do on sun. I mean i love her dearly but if the roles were reversed I would def more than understand if she didnt come to mine. I would tell her not to come b/c of the distance. I think its silly.

What should I do how do I tell her, She is not going to be very understanding about this this is why im reaching out for advice, Am I a horrible friend??? Advice, please.

TIA
Beba

I don't think you're a horrible friend. Just be honest..it's a bad weekend for you because you host mother's day and with the trip it would just be impossible.

The thing is...you already know she won't be understanding about this. So you know the outcome no matter how you put it.
I've come to realize you cannot control other's reactions..only yours. So be honest and see where the chips fall.
She may surprise you.. but you know her and if you say she won't be understanding then just be content with your decision and her reaction to your decision.

good luck!!!!

does she know the exact date of her shower or is it a surprise? im guessing she knows.

i would call her and let her know what you have going on and offer your advice/help in anything else she needs.

and then send a note with some flowers and say im sorry i couldnt make it etc but here is something to show that im thinking about u blah blah blah.

hopefully she understands! but sometimes ppl have other commitments and can't always make it!

2 of my friends bms werent even at her shower in li...she was fine with it because they were from maine and it was rather far!

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Posted by futuremrsfab

sorry if it were me, I would be upset that one of my BM & close friends missed my shower.

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sorry but i agree. If it was something else then of course i'd understand. But seems like its just about being an inconvenience. Actually her being a bm seems like you are not thrilled about it. It S*CKS that sometimes we have to run around alot and have so little time, i understand that part. But these are also once in a lifetime things for our friends that we care for and i think its important to make it if we can. Its just one of those situations where you s*ck it up and deal with the traffic, or flying somewhere, deal with little sleep and running around bc its just 1 time.

if it was something else then i'd say its ok, but again this is just how i feel. You know your friend better and just telling you personally how i would feel about the situation

Hmmm I might be a bit hurt if I were her but it is a LONG trip. The problem is that when you are a bride you think the world stops and you forget that people have families and life outside your wedding. I know the feeling because I have it sometimes! LOL!

Is she having a bachelorette party and do you plan on going? Why dont you go to that instead and tell her you can only make one event and I am sure she will understand. Tell her you have limited vacation time due to your own wedding, etc.

My sister was in the same situation and her friend understood.

sounds to me like you already feel she has unreasonable expectations.

make the best decision for yourself.

Is mothers day a really big deal in your family?

There will be a mothers day every year, she will hopefully only have one shower.

I have to agree with the others that I'd be upset if one of my BM didn't come to my shower.

Maybe you can treat your mom to an early Mother's Day present by staying at a bed & breakfast in Oswego.