Bridal Shower Dilemma...

Okay, so FFIL and FMIL are divorced... they have been for almost 20 years now... FFIL has had a girlfriend for 17 years (she had nothing to do w/ the divorce - they met afterwards).

Well, I really like FFIL's g/f... but apparently yesterday FMIL had a hissy fit about her going to the bridal shower, and that she didn't want her there...

Now, I don't know what to do about this. This woman has always been really nice to me, and I would love to have her there, but I don't want a big fued to start. Any advice on how to talk to FMIL? I don't think it's fair that FFIL's g/f can't be included in this, even though she's basically a part of the family...

That's really stinky. I'm so sorry for you. I have no advice just a HUG to give

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Posted by Happybride2005

I know you don't want to start a feud. But this is party is for YOU. Do you think she could put aside the differences for one day?

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I agree...my in-laws are divorced and my FFIL is remarried. I don't think my FMIL is too thrilled about the fact that she has to look at her ex-husband's wife, but the wedding isn't about her, it's about her son and I. Good luck-I know how difficult these situations can be.

This really is a sticky situation. But I really think you should stand firm and invite FFIL's girlfriend. The one reason I say this is because if FMIL sees you giving into her wishes not to invite her to the bridal shower, she will make a hissy fit when the wedding comes around. My heart goes out to you, this really is a tough situation!!

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Posted by Donna&Joe708

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Posted by Happybride2005

I know you don't want to start a feud. But this is party is for YOU. Do you think she could put aside the differences for one day?

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I agree...my in-laws are divorced and my FFIL is remarried. I don't think my FMIL is too thrilled about the fact that she has to look at her ex-husband's wife, but the wedding isn't about her, it's about her son and I. Good luck-I know how difficult these situations can be.

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I hope that she can get over it... I mean, I can understand that it would be difficult, but FSIL said she was freaking out about it.

FH just said to put them on opposite sides of the room..

I guess it's just more difficult for me to understand since my mom and step-mom get along fine... I mean, they're not buddy buddy (obviously) but they can coexist without difficulty.

I''m so sorry you have to deal with this. This woman should realize the day is about your happiness (and therefore also her son's happiness) and suck it up. Is it possible for your FH to talk to his mom? If the g/f has been around for 17 years, I think it would be really sad for her not to invite her.

Again, sorry that your FMIL is putting you in this awkward situation.

How does your FH get along with the girlfriend? Maybe FH can bring up this topic delicately with his mother, acknowledging how she feels but stressing that g/f is a part of his and your lives.

if you get along with g/f and she's been around for close to two decades, then I would invite her. . . maybe at the shower you can make a toast to your mother and FMIL to make them feel extra special.

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Posted by takeoutcook

How does your FH get along with the girlfriend? Maybe FH can bring up this topic delicately with his mother, acknowledging how she feels but stressing that g/f is a part of his and your lives.

if you get along with g/f and she's been around for close to two decades, then I would invite her. . . maybe at the shower you can make a toast to your mother and FMIL to make them feel extra special.

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hmm, maybe. I know FH gets along fine w/ his dad's g/f... i'm hoping that his sister will be able to talk to her...

or, i can just tell my MOH to invite her anyways... my MOH and bm's are paying for it as far as i know, so they get all the say anyways... ugh!

I now know why there are bridezillas... cuz their families drive them nuts!

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Posted by eogara

You just told me yesterday that you're 22 so I'm assuming your FH is around the same age. That means this woman has been in his life since he's about 5 - how could his mother possibly expect you not to have her at your shower? IMO she's being extremely immature. In the end you shouldn't be involved in your guest list so make sure whoever's throwing you the shower invites FFIL's girlfriend. If FMIL gets bent out of shape just say you didn't make up the list.

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yeah, he's 23... so she's been around since he was about 5 or 6... i don't think i was actually supposed to hear this, but kev was listening to the message when i was in the car with him and i heard it... i'm assuming that they're all making up their lists now, and this is what set her off.

I just told one of my BM's, who's going to talk to everyone and figure out the best way to handle this.