Bridal Shower Dilemna?

I need advice.

My sister asked me to put together a guest list of everyone I need to invite to my shower. I really wanted to try and keep it small but it's been hard since I'm having a 300 person wedding. My mom said she is paying for the shower. My mom wants to invite like 10 of her closest friends.. she can't invite one without the others... but I think it's okay since I've known them my whole life and my mom is covering the cost. My dilemna is that I don't know what to do about my FH's mom and her friends. I really don't know her friends and I would prefer not having more than a couple be invited... She isn't really helping with the paying for the wedding and hasn't offered anything for the shower either so I don't think she should be inviting all of her friends like my mom is.

How can I present it to my Fh's mom so that I'm not a ***** but make it clear I only want her to pick a couple of her closest friends as a courtesy?

What is typically done in this situation.. do a lot of people from FH's side come to your bridal shower?? I thought it was more for the bride.. any help would be great!!!

have FH tell her that you need the guest list, or at least a prelim guest list of who you will be inviting to the shower, and that she is allowed to invite 'X' amount of people since only 'X' amount of people will be invited to the shower. The total number you tell her doesn't have to be true, but at least if will give you an out as to why she can only invite x amount of people. tell her they can only fit so many at the place of the shower and that's it.
but honestly, this is something your mom should be asking his mom about directly and not putting you two in the middle of. i've had to go through this bridal shower drama before, being an ex bride and its terrible. stay out of it if you can

Yeah I was planning on not talking to her directly.. just figured I would get feedback and whats customary in this situation! lol
Thanks!

I'm not giving FH's mom even an option to have her friends at my shower. She isn't offering to help in any which way, and she's mostly been a pest, so too bad so sad for her is how I feel LOL

Besides she's already getting her way with having 10 friends at our wedding which she could at least offer to pay for her friends but hasn't!!! Grrr

if she isnt even offering to help pay for anything, then i wouldnt even allow her to invite ANY friends! Weddings and showers are too expensive and you cant be nice to everyone. If you knew and were close to a friend, of course invite them, but just to be 'nice' to invite someone...heck no lol.
Thats just my .02.

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Posted by Moonmist09

but honestly, this is something your mom should be asking his mom about directly and not putting you two in the middle of.

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This exactly. My mother and MIL split my shower down the middle, but they did all of the talking between each other. I knew nothing about my shower. I gave my mom the guest list for the wedding, crossed off some women (FH's co-workers GF's), and then my mom did the rest with MIL herself.

I did not give my MIL the option of choosing who to invite to my shower because my side paid for the shower. I chose to invite all of DH's aunts and female cousins that lived in New York. If I would have let my MIL make a list of people she would have invited everyone in the family so I chose to control the list for both sides of the family.

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Posted by jenhef

I'm glad to hear that you girls had the same issues..I feel a little better now.. =)

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me too! I want a small shower and my MOH and MOH booked a small place that only holds a certian amount of people. I made the mistake of telling my FMIL to make a list before I spoke to my MOHs. She is flexible but I was hoping to only really have people there that I know well but that isn't going to happen and I had to trim my part of the list. I'm not bad becuase it is my fault... I don't want to say anything though.

Hmmm me personally i would say 'When you get a chance i need a list of your friends you want invited etc... please try and keep it under # because we are on a limit'

or something like that????

i know, im not much help LOLOL