Bridal Shower Guests

So a moment I have been avoiding for a while just popped up...my sister asked for the bridal shower guest list.

Here's the problem. My FH is from upstate NY, so all of his immediate family is 5-6 hours away. His extended family lives all over the country from Mississippi to California. Some of his family I haven't even met in the 6 years I have known him. All are invited to the wedding.

Who gets invited to the shower? My FMIL says to invite everyone, but expect very little to show. This is absolutely understandable, but I worry that inviting someone who lives across the country gives the impression that I expect them to travel all that way, or worse, I expect them to send a gift without coming. A second shower in a more convenient location was a consideration but is no longer possible.


Can anyone relate? How did you ladies handle this situation?

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Posted by cconaty94

So a moment I have been avoiding for a while just popped up...my sister asked for the bridal shower guest list.

Here's the problem. My FH is from upstate NY, so all of his immediate family is 5-6 hours away. His extended family lives all over the country from Mississippi to California. Some of his family I haven't even met in the 6 years I have known him. All are invited to the wedding.

Who gets invited to the shower? My FMIL says to invite everyone, but expect very little to show. This is absolutely understandable, but I worry that inviting someone who lives across the country gives the impression that I expect them to travel all that way, or worse, I expect them to send a gift without coming. A second shower in a more convenient location was a consideration but is no longer possible.


Can anyone relate? How did you ladies handle this situation?

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I had that problem when I planned my MOH's shower. I had actually sent out save the dates for it because we were having the shower during President's weekend.

I sent people ivites that that I had a feeling wouldn't come anyway just out of politeness. I knew that they might not be able to come esp since the wedding was a month and a half away and that was more important.

If I were in your shoes, I would invite everyone. It shows that you want them there, but obviously it's up to them if they want to come. Maybe they do want to come! lol.

Either way, most people are going to open the invitation and say 'Oh, how nice she thought to invite me!' Some are going to say 'I'm not going to that, it's all the way in NY!' And a few are going to say 'She probably just wants the gift!' But you can't control that and those AREN'T your intentions when you invite them, so don't worry about it. The nice thing to do is to invite everyone, you can't be responsible for peoples reactions to that. Besides, if it's FH's family, FMIL has to deal with that, not you. HTH!