bridal shower question

how did you girls figure out whose planning/pay for it? My MOH isnt sure what to do (she cant afford it by herself) so shes not sure if she should contact my mom or other bridesmaids...should i ask my mom first, or do i just stay out of it and ask my MOH to email the others?? (FMIL said she would help also if we need her to, but she doesn't want to step on any toes or anything)

so what did u girls do?

I knew right off the top my MOH could not pay for it by herself and neither my mom. Traditionally the MOH and BM are supposed to take care of it, but financially it's not the way now.

My Mom and MOH and I agreed that they would have full planning in it but I would contribute also. Like my MOH would pay for favors, flowers, decorations, etc and mom and I would cover the major expenses.

You can have your MOH ask your BM if they's like to chip in and see how it goes from there.

The bottom line is I knew my MOH wouldn't be able to cover the entire thing. Do you think yours will be able to?

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Posted by rahana316

I knew right off the top my MOH could not pay for it by herself and neither my mom. Traditionally the MOH and BM are supposed to take care of it, but financially it's not the way now.

My Mom and MOH and I agreed that they would have full planning in it but I would contribute also. Like my MOH would pay for favors, flowers, decorations, etc and mom and I would cover the major expenses.

You can have your MOH ask your BM if they's like to chip in and see how it goes from there.

The bottom line is I knew my MOH wouldn't be able to cover the entire thing. Do you think yours will be able to?

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no def not thats why im not sure what to do...my mom hasnt mentioned anything and neither has my other bridesmaids..but FMIL said shed help, and MOH said she wasnt sure what to do to get the process started (but i know she doesnt have the money to pay the whole thing)

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Posted by ILOVEBRIAN2008

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Posted by rahana316

I knew right off the top my MOH could not pay for it by herself and neither my mom. Traditionally the MOH and BM are supposed to take care of it, but financially it's not the way now.

My Mom and MOH and I agreed that they would have full planning in it but I would contribute also. Like my MOH would pay for favors, flowers, decorations, etc and mom and I would cover the major expenses.

You can have your MOH ask your BM if they's like to chip in and see how it goes from there.

The bottom line is I knew my MOH wouldn't be able to cover the entire thing. Do you think yours will be able to?

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no def not thats why im not sure what to do...my mom hasnt mentioned anything and neither has my other bridesmaids..but FMIL said shed help, and MOH said she wasnt sure what to do to get the process started (but i know she doesnt have the money to pay the whole thing)

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Well then your best bet is to ask your mom if she would be willing to chip in. If she says yes, then your have your mom and fmil so far. Have your MOH do like mine, pay for favors, etc and whatever else money is needed, you can chip in to.

I am doing all this BUT I also told my MOH I want no part of planning. This way it will still be a surprise to me and MOH will still feel good that even when she couldnt pay for the entire shower, you still trust her to plan everything.

That was nice of your FMIL to offer. They usually dont have to.

Oh in reference to the BM, my MOH choose to ask them for help but not financially. She is planning on asking them for financial help for the bachelorette party. You might want to thing of that too. Having a stripper is a bit costly.

i was in a similiar situation. i was MOH once. i contacted the entire BP & MOB to go look at places. when we found a place we liked i just put my 2 cents in & asked everybody if this is in their budget.

i knew i couldn't afford it & so i had to get the ball rolling. i just stepped up and basically told them we were all chipping in

maybe she should do some research & pick a few places. make a day of it. then they can all go for lunch

IMO the best way to do it is to have the Mother, MOH and bridal party split everything up evenly. I have always been involved in showers in the past and this worked out the best for all involved!
HTH

Unfortunately there is no set rule to this anymore and everyone's situation is different.

If I was in your situation I would ask your mom for your MOH -- it might be a little uncomfortable for her (this is also assuming you have a good relationship with your mom).

Your MOH should contact the BM and both moms and get the planning going. By tradition all of the BMs should be chipping in so your MOH should not be paying for everything. Knowing the your FMIL wants to help out is great.

You never know your mom may just be assuming that she would handle it all.

Money issues sux -- but it is better to be upfront about it all then waiting. It makes it a lot easier in the end.

HTH

thanks girls..i think ill mention to my mom that my moh will prob contacting her along with the others in regards to the shower so its not a surprise and ill have my moh just write a generic email to everyone mentioning the shower and asking if anyone has any ideas about where to have it and asking who would like to help out and then see who responds lol

i dont want to be involved in that i dont want to know ANY details..though i dont want to put stress on my MOH so i want to help her get the ball rolling and with getting the others involved..but then once thats done i dont want to know anything lol

I told the girls what I would like as a party. Very small, in someone's home, something very cozy. So it shouldn't be a lot. I suggested they all split the cost and if needed i would contribute as well.

i honestly didnt even want a shower. but everyone saids i have to have one, so i really want to keep it as small as humanly possible