Hey girls. So I was talking with my maid of honor last night about my bridal shower. I am really confused. Who is generally responsible for hosting the shower? She lives out of town, but wants to help. However, I don't want to put to much financal burden on her. My mom is not in a position to help me ,( and she already insisted on helping me with my dress which I already feel guilty about) So my MOH was suggesting having it at my house and her doing most of the cooking, but Im not sure if 40-50 people will fit comfortably in my house and I'm not sure what most people expect to be fed. Is it kosher to have a casual shower at home with sandwiches and snacks or not? Am I not supposed to be involved at all, and if so how would I be able to have it at my house?? I want to be able to relinquish control over it, without feeling guilty or anxious that it wont be up to par with peoples expectations.
Any advice???
Thar1127
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
first, dont worry about peoples expectations, if they are your true friends and family that love you they just wanna be there on your special day and pamper you and see you happy. My family typically does showers at home because they tend to last all day with people hanging out till late. If you have it at a resturant you have like 4 hours to eat, play games, open presents and talk.. wayyy not enough time in my opinion. so shower at home is great! and for food I would say if you want to cut back on the costs do a theme, like a tea party or a breakfast/brunch theme. Hope that helps! dont feel anxious or worried about it!
lisam1113
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
Honestly it's your shower & if your going to help plan you can do it whatever way makes you feel happy & comfortable!! My MOH lives in FL & going to nursing school & hardly working. My mom, sister, FSIL & FMIL are helping put everything together. I think it is totally fine to have sandwiches & snacks... longs there is food & drinks (alochol or not) available. You can contact a deli & get a platter or cold cuts & rolls you get a hero, or even contact a pizzeria to get hot trays catered like penne ala vodka, ziti & things like that. Not sure what the budget for price per person you or anyone would be willing to spend but there are some restaurants that are under $25pp
LBUDA
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
I don't think there is a set answer as far as whole is responsible for throwing the shower. I have heard of the Brides mother throwing it, as well as the bridal party taking care of it.
If you do not mind being involved in the planning, maybe you can help your MOH with the cooking? Or maybe she can get in touch with your bridal party and have each girl make a dish?
Jflow
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
Thank you so much ladies! My FH family are the sweetest people ever, so I don't think they would be judgmental. It's just after talking to him it seems like they have mostly been at restaurants so I didn't know if doing something at home would be OK. I also didn't know if planning my own was considered rude. I honestly haven't been to any bridal showers, so I was clueless! Thats why I love this site, It's so helpful!
Any restaurant suggestions for affordable showers?
kdm822
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
i dont get why its a suprise? Never have lol
And i dont think theres any rules, do it your way, however you can /want
I refuse to open gifts infront of everyone, we did this at my friends and my cousins and i wanted to shoot myself. Everyone was so bored and i personally am not a kitchen tool fan lol (hate cooking) so i was not excited about toasters. I told my mom i want everyone to eat, drink, hangout and have music! let you know if that happens lol
pjc92980
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
if you want to help plan it that is totally fine! I am somewhat involved in planning my own. The bridal party should also be involved though. There are no rules saying it has to be at a restaurant or anything. Most recently the showers i have been to are at restaurants however mine is going to be at my aunts house. we arent cooking (bc imo that is a lot to do for 50 people) but we are going to bring in food platters which is still cheaper than a restaurant.
jovigirl414
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
I've been to PLENTY of casual, at home showers - I've never seen the toilet paper bride game done anywhere else but home! I wouldn't worry too much.
It sounds like you have a great group involved in your wedding, and they want to do whatever makes you happy.
Pretty_In_Pink
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
I agree with alot of people, there isn't a set way to go about with a bridal shower. To be honest if I was having a bridal shower I would be planning it also. I am MOH in my friends wedding and I feel like I am the leader in all of the plans. It feels a little intimidating because this is my first shower. The bride's mother wants it to be a surprise, so I wished the bride could be more involved. WE are doing a tent shower outside, with home cook food, about 40-50 women are involved.
IrishAli
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
I kind of planned my own because it was on DC and mom and MOH are in NY.
Home showers are fine, but definitely have food and drinks! And make sure there is enough seating
Jflow
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
If you don't mind me asking , how much where the tent rentals??
StephanieJoy
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
I think a home one would be fine
SoonToBeBride812
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
Posted by Jflow
Hey girls. So I was talking with my maid of honor last night about my bridal shower. I am really confused. Who is generally responsible for hosting the shower? She lives out of town, but wants to help. However, I don't want to put to much financal burden on her. My mom is not in a position to help me ,( and she already insisted on helping me with my dress which I already feel guilty about) So my MOH was suggesting having it at my house and her doing most of the cooking, but Im not sure if 40-50 people will fit comfortably in my house and I'm not sure what most people expect to be fed. Is it kosher to have a casual shower at home with sandwiches and snacks or not? Am I not supposed to be involved at all, and if so how would I be able to have it at my house?? I want to be able to relinquish control over it, without feeling guilty or anxious that it wont be up to par with peoples expectations. Any advice???
My MOH mentioned to me that she was a little unsure of how she should go about talking to my mother, who lives 6 hrs away from NYC, regarding the bridal shower. MOH and 90% of my bridal party is italian (as is 90% of my guests), & we are having an italian wedding. and i guess the tradition is that the mother of the bride sponsors the bridal shower. i dont want that type of burden on my mom, so my FH & I are fitting in the budget 'bridal shower expenses' because although the bridal shower is for the bride, arnt the gifts for the bride and groom's home/each other? LOL. so i'm planning it and sponsoring it and doing all the games etc. and the reason i decided to have it at a restaurant is because i want to enjoy my shower, not worry about cleaning up after people (i'm a compulsive cleaner). LOL!
----a little bit of a control freak too
Jesebelle
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Re: Bridal shower questions!!!
My mom and MOH planned my shower. It ended up being at MOH's house. I really didn't want them to spend a lot of money and I didn't want the time constraints of a restaurant. The place they found was only for 3 hrs because we didn't have enough people for the private room. There really wouldn't have been enough time for them to get in, set up, have everyone get there before me, everyone chit chat, eat, play games AND do gifts! I only had 19 ppl at my shower. My list was 47!! There was a lot of chaos during the planning. My mom felt the need to clue me in, which caused a LOT of arguing with her. She really made me feel bad for wanting it at all, and she got defensive when I told her that. I don't know what happened,but this completely organized capable person somehow fell apart. I'd get off the phone with her and be angry for about a half hour each time. It all came together in the end, but I wouldn't recommend being involved in your shower! The extra stress isn't worth it! FH had suggested we have it at our house, and I said no, I don't want to clean and prepare the house. I already had to straighten it up because we had his mother, brother, and SIL staying with us the weekend. But I really didn't want to have to get things in order for that many people coming.
