So my BMs and mother have been planning my shower. They weren't able to come to an agreement on dates that would accomodate everyone. Finally they decided on June 26 - which is the day after my friend's wedding and my MOH's birthday - yet the only date that would work for all of then.
So.... They booked a place and the room holds 50 - my mom has 16 on her list including BMs. My FMIL gave me her list - it has 28 people!!! I don't know if I have the right to get upset, but that leaves 4 people for me to invite. How could I even think of inviting 4 yet leaving the rest out? FMIL expects 26 of her list to show. Now it's not her fault - my mom told her to invite 25 not including herself or FSIL - ugh
What should I do with my invite list of a whopping 4? Do I have a right to be upset?
** So I had gone to CT after posting this yesterday to visit my cousin... when I returned home, FMIL handed me a 'updated' guest list. She narrowed it down from 28 to 18 including herself and my FSIL who is also a BM. So much better, now I can actually invite people who I want to be there! Thanks for listening to me ladies xoxo **
Ang9483
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Re: Bridal Shower RANT
It is your shower and if you have people you want to be there you should be able too. There is noway I could only pick 4 of my friends out.
merbride
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Re: Bridal Shower RANT
yes you def have a right to be upset! you should be providing the guest list for them!
suzie411
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Re: Bridal Shower RANT
yes.
i did give my MOH/sister a guestlist. My mom may have added 2 people. FMIL is not involved so she was just part of the guestlist that i provided.
jovigirl414
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Re: Bridal Shower RANT
I'm not even offering an invite list to the in-laws ... How could she possibly invite more people than the BRIDE herself??
Your bridal party should not allow this, unless your FMIL is pitching in for more than half of the party itself. Sorry, but until you pay, you don't get a say!
I hope my Zilla scales didn't just surface too badly ... I get defensive when it comes to in-laws.
adelya21
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Re: Bridal Shower RANT
ye id be very mad! You are the bride your guest list takes priority over anyone's I dont care who is paying!!
FutureMrsRP
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Re: Bridal Shower RANT
Maybe you could move the shower to a different place? That holds more people?
Ellynrose
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Re: Bridal Shower RANT
My BMs and Mom are paying, however FMIL did offer. She is contributing a lot to the wedding as a whole, which is why she has a 'list'. I tried to say (when she gave me the list), ' Oh so this would leave me with a few people to invite' - no response
Moving it is probably not an option - like I said the date is final (day after friend's wedding and MOH b-day)
At this point, I don't even want a shower - wedding excitement has worn off... I'm ready to get this **** over with :(
jovigirl414
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Re: Bridal Shower RANT
That really sucks. You are the bride, she really should have cut her list down THE MINUTE you said it leaves you with no one to invite. I understand her having a guest list for the wedding, if she is contributing, but not the shower.
I'm so sorry about this ... it's not fair to you at all.
JTG4EVER
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Re: Bridal Shower RANT
It is YOUR shower. You are supposed to supply the guestlist. Are you kidding me? You need to talk to your mom and FMIL. They (FMIL) have to cut a few of their friends so you can invited every single one of YOUR friends. This is not right. She has to cut people. Her friends don't deserve to be there over yours.
JTG4EVER
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Re: Bridal Shower RANT
Posted by Ellynrose
My BMs and Mom are paying, however FMIL did offer. She is contributing a lot to the wedding as a whole, which is why she has a 'list'. I tried to say (when she gave me the list), ' Oh so this would leave me with a few people to invite' - no response
Moving it is probably not an option - like I said the date is final (day after friend's wedding and MOH b-day)
At this point, I don't even want a shower - wedding excitement has worn off... I'm ready to get this **** over with :(
aww dont feel like that. you have hit a bump in the road. once you get passed the problem it will be all smiles again!
Ellynrose
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Re: Bridal Shower RANT
Thanks ladies - it's just upsetting that this is happening to the point where I just don't want a shower. I can't necessarily blame my FMIL (except when I said that I wouldn't have a large number of invites) because my mother told her (before a place was booked) that she could invite 25 ppl
You ladies are the best
KarynK
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Re: Bridal Shower RANT
Posted by jovigirl414
I'm not even offering an invite list to the in-laws ... How could she possibly invite more people than the BRIDE herself??
Your bridal party should not allow this, unless your FMIL is pitching in for more than half of the party itself. Sorry, but until you pay, you don't get a say!
I hope my Zilla scales didn't just surface too badly ... I get defensive when it comes to in-laws.
ITA! I had the same problem with my FMIL. My mother is paying for the shower, (I only have 2 in my BP), and my FMIL is a lot more financially set than my parents. She even cashed my mother's check for the deposit that FMIL made. Then she tells me who I need to invite to the shower. whatever! FH said at least we know we'll get some gifts.
