Here's a question, just because I'm wondering. Are bridal showers inherently a surprise? When my shower was coming up, a lot of people spilled the beans by just saying things like, 'I can't wait until next weekend,' or 'are you excited that your shower is coming up?' And then they'd be shocked to find out that I was never told about it. I guess maybe because the invitation didn't mention that it was a secret, people just assumed that I knew it was being planned.
Now, there's a shower coming up that I'm going to and I mentioned it to someone on my FB (not someone who's going), and SIL asked me to remove it. The invitation didn't say anything about a surprise and the bride mentioned when it was in passing. It was no problem to take it out because if it really is a secret, I'd hate to blow it!
Are bridal showers, in and of themselves, a surprise? I'm not sure because, this day and age, a lot of girls know about them. Just wondering.
MrsBlueRibbon
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Re: Bridal showers a surprise?
I think the majority still are supposed to be, I think the problem is a lot of people are stupid! I say that because, I know the date of my shower, my mom told me as soon as she booked it( she didn't even give me the option of not knowing!) Anyway, the majority of the guest list does not know I know the date, and I can't tell you how many people say things like ' see you in a few weeks' or' I got the note saying the place has been changed'! That was the best one! My mom flipped when I told her someone said that to me. I have no idea where my shower is and that is the big secret my mom is trying to keep. It seems the venue changed it's name or moved next door or something, so my mom sent out notices stating this. Why a guest would think they should tell me this is beyond me!
Im a Pepper
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Re: Bridal showers a surprise?
Posted by MrsBlueRibbon
I think the majority still are supposed to be, I think the problem is a lot of people are stupid! I say that because, I know the date of my shower, my mom told me as soon as she booked it( she didn't even give me the option of not knowing!) Anyway, the majority of the guest list does not know I know the date, and I can't tell you how many people say things like ' see you in a few weeks' or' I got the note saying the place has been changed'! That was the best one! My mom flipped when I told her someone said that to me. I have no idea where my shower is and that is the big secret my mom is trying to keep. It seems the venue changed it's name or moved next door or something, so my mom sent out notices stating this. Why a guest would think they should tell me this is beyond me!
It's sooooo crazy that someone said that to you!! LOL But I think a lot of people just assume that you know about it, which is really annoying. At the same time, I guess times have changed and lots of brides do know about it so maybe invitations should mention it if it's important to keep the secret. This also helps with stupid people who can't read between the lines
springsandra
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Re: Bridal showers a surprise?
I'm planning my own luncheon so it's not a surprise at all. I think it depends on the people hosting / planning it. My mom and MOH couldn't plan it for me, so we did it together with me doing the bulk of the planning.
If someone didn't write 'surprise' on the invitation, I would NOT assume it was a surprise. It's really not that hard to be more specific on the invites...
That's just my opinion though. I wouldn't go out of my way to tell a bride, though, about an invitation that didn't have their contact info on it either. I'd ask whomever the RSVP was to if the bride knows when I replied.
kristen1226
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I think it depends. Both of my sisters knew about their showers because they asked us to tell them. I asked for them to keep mine a surprise.. not sure if they will, but I would like it to be.
caper24
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I think they should be a surprise. I knew about mine, but I was surprised by the decorations, the food, and all the efforts put forth by one of my good friends.
geegee827
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My mom and sister asked if I wanted to be surprised - I said yes. Therefore, they are keeping it a surprise! I told my sister to make sure she puts 'surprise' on the invitations so people know.
MrsList
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It seems like tradition says it's a surprise and every shower I've been to has been a surprise but mine. I knew the date but not the place or any details. Maybe SIL didn't want the bride to know details and that's why she asked you to take it down.
coldasice217
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I think it's assumed to be a surprise unless otherwise stated. Mine was supposed to be, and it's not anymore, but FH's grandmother still thought it was a surprise and was upset when I started talking about it and she found out it wasn't. My sister's was a surprise, and she claims she was, but who knows. I just went to one where the girl was like administering her own games, so to each their own LOL.
MoochsWifey
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Re: Bridal showers a surprise?
Posted by coldasice217
I think it's assumed to be a surprise unless otherwise stated. Mine was supposed to be, and it's not anymore, but FH's grandmother still thought it was a surprise and was upset when I started talking about it and she found out it wasn't. My sister's was a surprise, and she claims she was, but who knows. I just went to one where the girl was like administering her own games, so to each their own LOL.
Yeah, I pretty much always assume showers are a surprise too. Mine is also supposed to be a surprise but I did not want it to be at all, so i did some snooping and found out when it it is. I wasn't going to tell my mom because she wanted me to be surprised so much but she actually slipped today. I didn't want her to feel bad thinking I knew nothing this whole time and that she had spilled the beans so I fessed up. She called me a brat, laughed and then said 'Well at least I didn't ruin anything!'
Celeste617
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Re: Bridal showers a surprise?
The date and place of mine was not a surprise - I wanted to be prepared! But I had no idea what the theme was.
9509Bride
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Re: Bridal showers a surprise?
I would agree that if the invite does not say 'surprise' one would assume the bride knows.
Mine is not a surprise my family cant hold water so if it were I'd prob still know LOL
