So. I am doing pretty well keeping the cost of my wedding inside my father's generous budget (25,000 for 220 people). I have cut corners and am having my wedding on a Thursday and I am doing pretty damn well (I am projected to only go over about 200 dollars and that is with high estimates for tips/gifts/ect)
I am paying here and there which I am proud of, I am 21, my fiance is 23 and I must say we're doing alright.
Now: VENT
My fiance's sister (26) got engaged a year after us, and set her wedding date 4 months after we set ours. Funny thing is, her wedding date, exactly 2 months before ours. I understand her need to get married before her brother, but 2 months? It is kind of aggravating. He has already let his parents know that it upset him. They responded with 'what were we supposed to do?' I don't know, you're paying for it, stand up for your son! But whats done is done and I refuse to let it get me down (hence why I am ventasourous rex over here).
We booked our photographer and DJ (package deal GREAT price) and his sister just booked a really beautiful photographer and decided to let us know 'ours was mediocre' I simply said 'I fall in love with so many photographers, but for what? If I can't afford them, I can't afford them, I have a budget' she scoffed and talked about how money buys you quality and blah blah blah. Her wedding is almost 10 grand over my budget for 100 less people. I mean great, if you have it, use it, but I don't have it and can't use it. To top it off, she wants my DJ! ***.
I am just worn out. I think it is unfair and she is just being mean. She almost booked her honeymoon in Paris and that is where we are going. I am just so over his family sometimes it upsets me so much.
So there's my Bride on a Budget Rant - feel free to share your rants with me!
AngnShaun
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Re: Bride on a Budget: Vent Session
this is when you tell her to shove it up her arse...
meghan13
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That would piss me off!
My vent isnt budget related but...
My FH's brother (and bestman!) showed up to our engagement party FOUR HOURS late. WIth no card, no gift. I mean I dont expect anything crazy but geez go get a picture frame or something. And yes, he does have the money to give a gift.
He told his mom about it and she said 'He's your brother.' End of story. Seriously? Stand up for him! Thats his bestman, I'm sorry but he should have at least showed up with card. My sister allowed me to host my party at her home, helped make all the food, bought me BEAUTIFUL vera wang toasting flutes and martini glasses for us. And a check. My brother gave us cash - and a generous amount at that. And my brother was there THREE hours early to set up.
It's a slap in the face if you ask me.
Mrs R
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that is just mean
heathery72
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Sorry. Some people are just mean. Don't let her ruin your engagement.
joctorre
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That is pretty annoying. I'm so sorry!
Venting helps (I am having some awkward feelings about a few people in our BP too), so just vent, get it out of your system, dont' worry too much over the budget. If you've got it down, then AWESOME for you. Let her spend more money on her wedding and compare it to yours, who cares? What's important is that you're marrying the most important person in your life, and you're not getting caught up in who's doing it first, who's doing it better, who's spending more money, it's just all about YOU and FH!!!
For my vent (and this is just one!!), my sister, aka MOH, is giving me issues over almost everything I say, including my bachelorette party, but the kicker now is that she's not sure she wants to ride in the limo with me for the wedding... She had to ask her 'DH' what his thoughts were on that bc she said it's a lot of time away from her kids... Are you serious??? THey're the damn RB and FG... Yeah ,they're not in the limo but it's a friggin 1/2 hour... seriously???? YOU'RE THE MOH!!!!!!!!
GR2010
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FH's brother did the same thing to him.... he got engaged to someone he knew for 3 minutes and got married after 8 months, 4 months before our wedding.... now that his backyard bash is over all he does is criticize the face that we're having such a big wedding and everything we do is ridiculous... so no matter what you do if it's bigger or smaller, more expensive or on a budget she sounds like the kind of person who can just not be happy for someone else.
EFF her. Enjoy your planning and ignore her. Your wedding will be gorgeous without spending as much as she is.
bridetobesteph
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urgh we had a problem with some of his family members not coming to our engagement party also! He (my fiance) finally put his foot down and told his parents that enough was enough and he didn't want to hear it anymore and that she cannot and will not have our DJ. It's petty and stupid and can't we just be happy for each other?
Oh and we're in each other's weddings how nice. When we went BM dress shopping for her, I wore the spanks, the shoes, everything. When we went BM dress shopping for me, she had a temper tantrum because the samples wouldn't fit her and made it all about her. I BROKE some of the damn samples. His younger sister (also there both times) is 5'2 and like 120 pounds (all boobs lol) so she is a PERFECT sample size...but who cares. She's just a damn baby.
HurricaneGirl
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ugh, I hate when people have to act like that. The fact that she was rubbing it in your face the way she did shows a lack of class of her part. Enjoy your wedding...no one can afford EVERYTHING they want, so enjoy your planning and don't let her get to you!
SoontobeGallagher
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I'm sorry! People really suckk sometimes. True colors really come out in times like this.
Oct2010Bride2Be
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I totally understand your vent and I find it really sad that brides judge other brides just based on their budget and choices made with vendor selection and wedding day details..I am on a budget too but I have read reviews here and over at the Knot from brides who threw gorgeous weddings with a ridiculously low budget. Who cares how much you actually pay for a photographer? There are brides at my job who paid almost 6K or 8K for a photographer and their product really wasn't all that - some of the most gorgeous wedding dresses I've seen are from David's Bridal, not Prina Tornai (sp?) or Vera Wang!
I bet your wedding will be absolutely beautiful and guests do not give 2 sh**ts about what you paid as long as they have a great time and enjoy the food at the reception!! Thats it!! So tell your sister 'sure whatever' but she needs to GROW UP and not shove her ability to throw more $$ into her wedding up your face. Thats just so class-less!
bridetobesteph
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Thanks so much for that...seriously If you have the funds to pay for amazing stuff go for it, but don't look down on the ladies that have to scrimp a little on the extras. It is just so disheartening that weddings have become this huge spectacles and brides forget that their Vows and their Love are what it is all about.
win01
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I am sorry you are being stressed...I wouldn't let it bother me...Your wedding will be beautiful...Just because she spends more money doesn't make it any more special etc. I lost my first husband and when I think of our small wedding with immediate family I smile from ear to ear as it was perfect and those memories are all that matter. I am getting married again and this time I am doing a bigger wedding, but still small by most standards and I can't wait... Just focus on your happiness...it is really all that matters in the end.
ourwedding9510
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Weddings bring out the worst in people. When I got engaged FSIL told me that I couldn't plan my wedding until her's was over (so that would have been 5 months of doing NOTHING for my wedding). She told us that she didn't want us to take anything away from her but in the same breathe told us how it was only 1 day. I had to end up planning our wedding behind his family's back so that they no freaked out on us. She ever made her mom hold off on mailing the engagement party invites until the day after the wedding so people didn't scrimp on her gift.
FSIL and I are SUPER close and I look past it because it's in the past. When it comes up I call her out on it and she still thinks she was right. You just have to remember, as the Situation and Pauly D say it best 'you do you'. 2 of my friends got married before me and any idea that I told them about I ended up seeing at their wedding. Just keep things to yourself and you will have a GREAT wedding. At the end of the day, it's who's standing at the end of that aisle, that matters!
Linzee636
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I went through a VERY similar situation...
FH's sister got engaged 3 months after we got engaged. By then, we had our date picked, deposits down, and asked everyone (including his sister) to be in the bridal party.
Two months after she gets engaged, she announces her wedding date - 6 weeks before ours - VIA facebook...
Not cool at all.
Don't let people who are nasty and manipulative overshadow your wedding, no matter how big or small the budget is. Every detail of your wedding will be personal and special for you and your FH. My best advice would be to stay focused on your own wedding, and no think about hers (because when I found myself thinking of my FSIL's wedding, it would only get me fired up).
We're always here to vent to
*edited for spelling
astorc
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I'm in the same boat too...
My older cousin (by about 7 years) got engaged about 2 months after I did and decided to get married 3 WEEKS before my wedding. I sent out my save the dates about 2 months before her's were even sent out. Now that she's sent out her invites, and mine are going out next week, it seems that half of my family is no longer coming to my wedding. Aunts and Uncles will all be making it to her wedding and they can't afford to go to both. I know the most important people will be there on my wedding day, just super frustrating.
futureMrsJSL
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Sorry to here you are going through this. I know itll be hard but maybe you should try to keep the rest of your wedding planning details between you & FH. This way you donot have to be bothered with different opinions or her trying to compare your weddings. Either way I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful....especially since you have this site to help you plan.
dfw343
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Just keep thinking..your marriage will last forever. Hers will probably be over within 5 years because she sounds like a jealous person.
rightasrain
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wow, she sounds like a real piece of work!
when my best friend got married 2 years ago, the bride-to-be of her DH's best man was the same way that you're describing your future sis-in-law. i knew that bride to be personally and she wasn't just rude and out of line during planning she was that way all the time.
she sounds really insecure. why else would someone bash or scoff at choices you made for your wedding? that's so gross.
if you want to be the bigger person, remind yourself that she isn't worth your anger, she seems like she has enough self-loathing of her own.
if you want to be a beyotch (i would!) i'd say things like 'why do you have to insult my ______ (photographer/ etc) it makes you look petty, focus on your own wedding,' or 'really paris? are you that boring you can't come up with something on your own for your honeymoon?' or something like that.
