Bridemaid/MOH Question - kinda long

Hey girls:
I have found this board to be most helpful of all the wedding boards, even though I am not in any way related to LI (Live in Brooklyn, getting married in NJ, was raised in Ukraine/Phila). I would really appreciate some guidance on this question, that's kind of a follow up to taralisa's:

My BMs are all geographically scaterred and not all of them even know each other. My MOH - my younger sister who lives in Philly- doesn't know any of the BMs. I am assuming that I will have no shower/bachelorette party b/c of this (plus my mom doesn't know much about planning american weddings and so far wants to stay as much out of it as possible, except the wedding dress). So I am mentally preparing myself for the lack of these two things, however, I am also planning to give smaller but personal gifts for my BM's (somewhere around $30-$50). Would that be considered ok? I am also not expecting a huge amount of help from my BM's on the wedding planning, except perhaps a few things on the day of.

A more general question about stationery, which items are a must, and which are nice, but created by the greeting card industry? I am trying to send simple inexpensive invites, no frills, etc. I also know I will need the RSVP cards and Save the Date b/c my wedding is on 4th of jully weekend.

thank you all and please feel free to express your opinions even if they are not positive, I won't take offense and won't start a catfight
Thankx

Alina,

I'm glad you have found these boards to be as helpful as I have. Continued success with the rest of your planning.

Well, if your BMs are scattered all over the place, I would try to have them all meet, at least once prior to your wedding day or at least get everyone to chat on the phone. I think it would be helpful to you and extremely helpful to your BMs. I would provide each of your BMs with each other's phone numbers/email addresses so they can at least get in touch with one another.

Maybe someone in your family (with the help of your BMs) will throw you a small shower or luncheon.

A small gift is fine, especially if it's personal to each girl. If you know what each girl likes, then you can get each girl something different. It's the thought that counts.

You can fine inexpensive wedding invitations online. Use a search engine and type in 'wedding invitations'. You should be able to find something in your price range.

Lots of luck to you.

Karen,

You're getting married a day before me!!!
We still haven't booked the place, so no wedding day until then, but 7/5/03 is our first choice date!!!

Thanks for the advice.

I agree with Karen. You should do what suits your budget & makes you feel comfortable. Good luck with your plans & getting your date! And come & share ideas with us anytime, I think we have a bunch of Brides that are from LI.

If you want to go super no-frills, I know Hallmark makes a line of blank bridal cards that you can run through your printer. I've tried to enclose a link -- if it doesn't work, just go to Hallmark.com and run search under wedding.

Hallmark.com Invite

I think you can include wedding & reception info on the same card -- but you also want to have a reply card with a stamped envelope.

As far as the save the date goes --> I made those myself on the computer using free clip art. If you want, I can email you a copy of what I made. I also typed up direction cards on matching off-white parchment paper (super-cheap - I got it at an art store).

And as far as the size of the BM gift -- I always though of BM gift as more of a cute, rememberance thing --> if it can be sentimental - that's great too. No one I know said yes to being a BM beacuse they thought they'd get a great gift

And as far as connecting the BM & MOH --> I'm in the sam boat to an extent. My MOH (my sis) lives 5 minutes away from me, but my BM are a different story --> one's in Alabama & the other lives in Germany! My sister basically emailed them what was going on and they compared notes that way.

It's cool that you're open to the thought that the shower might not happen --> I know my friend in Germany didn't have one at all, and my other BM just had a small drunken get-together with friends where we gave her lingerie & then left to go bar-hopping! You can always try to set aside some time for a casual BM luncheon or a night out with the girls instead.

Hope that helps!

Here's the invite I spoke about (I hope!)

Here's the other one they have (it has a matching thank you). They're both $12.99 for 10.

If I could afford it, I'd throw you a shower myself , however, I can't.
I say do what you feel is right.