So, I was originally going to have 3-4 girls in my bridal party. My sister, cousin, and 2 girlfriends. One girlfriend said she couldnt because she couldnt afford it (I told her I would even buy the dress but no, oh well) then another girlfriend whom I've known since I was 7 yrs old is going to be away in college in a masters program where she's only allowed 3 days off per semester and said she didnt want to use all 3 days on my thursday wedding! Although she said she'd still come to the reception. But I am not even inviting her anymore. So I only have 2 girls. Why does this depress me?
Nikki24591
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Re: bridemaids
It is amazing how people seems to let you down at what is supposed to be a wonderful time. I had issues with bm's too and what I learned is that you just have to suck it up and remember it is your day and all that matters is the you and your fi love eachother!
shelby34
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Re: bridemaids
I only have 2 friends in my wedding party. The others are relatives. I think that once you get older you start to lose 'friends' who are not worth begging to be your friends. I think it is better to have only 1 or 2 true blue friends, than a whole bunch of not so great, only there when they want to be friends. Keep your head up...the girls in your wedding are there because they care about you. Nothing else matters. Plus, it will be so much easier and cheaper!
ant n tilde
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Re: bridemaids
I'M so sorry you are having a hard time with this - i completely understand, some of my friends definitely let me down too. . .
I am only having two bridesmaids also - think of it this way - at least they didnt disappoint you AFTER saying yes to being a BM and then you would be stuck with them! Also, you can save some money on limos, bouquets and gifts if you have a smaller BP :)
dont let it stress you!
FLuwrchLd
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Yeah thats true, its cheaper with the gifts to buy them also. Its just hard because my fiancee wants about 5 guys in his party (3 are related)
N.Y.bride
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Thats o.k. I had my sister and my cousin and then Anthonys god daughter (for him). I had 2 people turn me down too.
I had less girls than guys but I sure wasnt going to ask girls I didnt really want just to match them up and make them even.
Dont worry about it.
ChrisnAmy
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Re: bridemaids
Sorry that you are sad....but Think of it as a blessing. I keep hearing about other Brides that have Bridesmaid's that have disappointed them and/or made them angry. I think Less is more in this case. I'm only having my sister and my Groom is having two Bestmen.
Best Wishes!
shellibean
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Re: bridemaids
Think about it this way, at least you know that the two girls in your bridal party are going to be 100% there for you every step of the way. I am having difficulty with the fact that out of 7 girls in my BP, there are 4 that I feel actually care about being in it and are doing everything possible to help. The others, I feel, could care less and have more important things to do. I hope this helps you see another side!
lacey&mark
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Re: bridemaids
its hard when people disappoint you when it comes to such an important time in your life! but it is better that they are telling you straight out that they wont be your BM's rather than after you've spent $$$ on having them in your wedding. the ones you will have beside you will be the ones that truly want to be there for you! as far as the friend you asked to be a BM that cant bc of her grad school schedule, i would definitely still invite her to the reception!!! don't write her off so quickly! many grad programs are intense and very demanding, and she is wise not to use up her 3 days off for you wedding and save the other 2 for emergency use! best wishes.
irishsweetheart
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Re: bridemaids
Sorry to hear that you're having such problems with the BP but think of it this way. Would you really want people to stand up for you who really didn't want to be there in the first place? The ones that really matter are the ones that count!
And don't worry there is no rule saying that the girls have to match the guys. There are a lot of cute ways of getting around that like pairing each of your bm's with two guys when they're announced at the reception, etc. . .
It will all work out!
jenn122397
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Re: bridemaids
I'M so sorry you are having a hard time with this - i completely understand, some of my friends definitely let me down too. . .
Who are you talking about that disapponted you? Hope you're not talking about me.
jessandjimiswedding
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hey don't be sad. it may be easier to only have 2. i'm having 3. keeping it simple. don't be down. think of it as they are doing you a favor!
snowflake
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Trust me, keep your BP number simple. I have family who disappointed me, my friends were very emotionally supportive. Quality is always more important than quantity!
cherryj24
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I am sorry. I am only having a MOh being my sister. IMO no one else would be worth it to have, I would just be setting myself up for diappointment from them so keep it in mind that the ones you have truly care about you and you should have a lot less headaches than some other brides I have known have had with b****y girls.
JIFFY
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Re: bridemaids
I only have two girls, two guys, and two FG. I think that is the perfect amount for pics. Plus bc the BP is so small they get better gifts from you! Looks like the one who said can't afford it even if you got her the dress probably has money problems that you don't know about. I wouldn't press the issue. I think it's polite of her to decline instead of trying to be in the party and then not helping out or doing her 'duty' as a bridesmaid. The other one can go scratch! If my friend invited me into her wedding party and I could only take 3 days off I would def. take 3 days off! But then I probably wouldn't be so available to you when it's time to go dress shopping and shower planning. I'm sorry that you are disappointed. You will find that as you get older the people who you thought were your true friends really are not.
sarahradio5
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Re: bridemaids
I keep saying that it must be a right of passage as brides to go through some sort of disappointment with the bridesmaid thing. I lost a friend due to jealousy at the beginning of my engagement who was talking behind my back to another friend, who thankfully told me because she had my best interest in mind. So, I ended that other friendship. I always thought another friend from H.S. would be my MOH, but she was too busy, so she demoted herself to BM, but it was a blessing in disguise because I have the perfect MOH in my best friend Debbie. Now, I only have 2 friends in my bridal party, my current SIL and 2 future SIL's. I kind of regret not having 2 other friends of mine in my bridal party who are really ALWAYS there for me, but I want them to do readings in my ceremony. You really DO end up learning who your friends are - one way or another - in this whole process. You may end up becoming closer to another friend who you never thought you would in this whole crazy wedding thing! You never know! Just don't stress, let it be, and concentrate on the real purpose of all this - marrying your love!
snydl40
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Re: bridemaids
I am having two aunts, cousin, two FSILs, and two friends. Most of them are family and are being great about everything, but I almost had another friend-and she purposely said to me: 'We are trying to get pregnant in December, so we'll probably be pregnant by then-so I retracted my offer and she said that is probably for the best. I'm sorry your BMs are giving you problems-but at least they are doing it now rather than right before the wedding.
